Would this be a good anecdote?

Ns1

No Lifer
Jun 17, 2001
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comments? suggestions? questions?

John Doe: 23, third year college student at the University of California Berkeley. John is majoring in Computer Science with a specialization in Internet Commerce. He maintains a 3.3gpa, and is looking at going to graduate school. He works part time as a bartender at the local pub, and in conjunction with his financial aid, he is able to pay for his college education. He loves his country, and is looking forward to a long and socially productive life.
But, John has another side to him. In his spare time, he enjoys smoking marijuana. Mary Jane, pot, ganja, grass, dope, weed: the evil plant that ruins millions of lives every year. One day, after a very difficult midterm, John gets caught smoking weed. He gets convicted of misdemeanor drug possession. Harmless conviction, wouldn?t you think? But no, because of this drug conviction, John is no longer able to qualify for financial aid. He is forced to drop out of school because he cannot afford it. Distraught, John seeks refuge in harder drugs like cocaine and heroine. He quickly falls into the bottomless pits of addiction. He becomes a regular in the county jail cells. The government pays $42 dollars per day John is in jail. The government also pays for his rehab. And, according to the government, by using drugs, John is supporting terrorism.
John had a bright future ahead of him as a productive member of society, but because he liked to exercise his natural right to do whatever he wants to his body, he is now just another hopeless statistic. If we?re losing the war on drugs, who?s winning?
 

Ns1

No Lifer
Jun 17, 2001
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personal opinions aside k? this is an assignment
 

Jimbo

Platinum Member
Oct 10, 1999
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<< If we?re losing the war on drugs, who?s winning? >>


The people that make more money because drugs are illegal.
Uh... I hope this is not you.


<< this is an assignment >>


Good.
 

djheater

Lifer
Mar 19, 2001
14,637
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0


<< because he liked to exercise his natural right to do whatever he wants to his body >>

i want to wear explosives into a crowd and set myself off... does that qualify as fulfilling a natural right?

for an assignment this is to full of emotionally charged material for a teacher to grade without feeling the need to call you out... tone down the issues man.... right it about not jaywalking or something...
 

Ns1

No Lifer
Jun 17, 2001
55,420
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well, what should i put then, since he is not infringing on other people's rights???

here's the exact assignment

Write an ancedote taht reveals character or makes a point about a social issue. Keep in mind that anecdotes suggest rather than declare the writer's concern. They also involve some descriptive stage setting so that teh reader can visualize teh experience. And, most important, they end with some punch that drives the point home.

If you choose to write an anecdote that illustrates a social issue, be sure to stick to a particular case that suggests teh larger issue. For instance, if you're concerned wover the helath care of the infirm, you might select a particular case from a local convalescene home as the focus of your anecdote. If you're concerened about the behav ior of authorities, parnets, students, or politicians, chooose for your focus a particular case from your experience.


Remember:
1. Anecdotes suggest rather than directly state a point.
2. They involve stage setting
3. They often involve dialogue
 

ElFenix

Elite Member
Super Moderator
Mar 20, 2000
102,407
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you have 1 data point!


hmmm... i guess thats why its anecdotal
 

b0mbrman

Lifer
Jun 1, 2001
29,470
1
81


<<

<< because he liked to exercise his natural right to do whatever he wants to his body >>

i want to wear explosives into a crowd and set myself off... does that qualify as fulfilling a natural right?

for an assignment this is to full of emotionally charged material for a teacher to grade without feeling the need to call you out... tone down the issues man.... right it about not jaywalking or something...
>>


Heh...but if this is for a Berkeley assignment, the teacher would probably agree with any pro-drug sentiment he sticks in :)
 

Ns1

No Lifer
Jun 17, 2001
55,420
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this isn't a berkeley assignment, this is a community college assignment :)
 
Jul 1, 2000
10,274
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Remember:
1. Anecdotes suggest rather than directly state a point.
2. They involve stage setting
3. They often involve dialogue

Looks like you didn't include any of these. There is really no stage setting. You pretty much directly state a point. There is no dialogue.
 

Ns1

No Lifer
Jun 17, 2001
55,420
1,600
126
giving background on john doe doesn't count as stage setting?


ugh

/me does not like english
 

Sir Fredrick

Guest
Oct 14, 1999
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<< giving background on john doe doesn't count as stage setting?


ugh

/me does not like english
>>



It might come easier if you layed off the pot. ;) j/k
 

Ns1

No Lifer
Jun 17, 2001
55,420
1,600
126
oh yeah

what the heck is "they often involve dialogue" supposed to mean!??!