would it make me a bad parent if..

[Philippine Mango]

Originally posted by: BatmanNate
You sound like a pushover. Or one of those people who tries to get back at their own overly controlling parents by ruining their childrens chances at life.

Actually this was never a problem when I was growing up, I have no idea what would have happened if I was getting drunk and or simply drinking in HS. Grades/education are a LOT more important than abiding by a law that is legal in every european country for those under 18 IIRC.

 

[FoBoT]

you can move to europe, if you want to

 

[JM Aggie08]

no means yes

its only wrong if you get caught


and tell him what you dont know, wont hurt you.

 

[newmachineoverlord]

You can't stop your kids from drinking, smoking, or doing drugs. But you can impact their motivation to do so. Measure their weight, figure out how much they can safely drink, then let them drink (nothing hard, don't want them to die) until they get sick, and let them get a hangover afterwards. If that is their first experience with alchohol, they might learn from it. (Bait shyness is the technical term for what we're going for.) Be sure to talk loudly during their hangover, and mention that it was their idea, not yours.

For smoking, show them the south park episode entitled "my future self and me" if they want to know about marijuana. It's pretty honest about the true drawbacks of it, and explains it better than any propaganda from either side. Also find someone with emphysema and a hole in their neck to breath out of to introduce your kid to, that way they can realize that smoking doesn't just kill you, it decreases your quality of life.

 

[SampSon]

Your kid is going to do whatever the hell he wants anyway. Since you don't have a child, nor do you support yourself and have never lived on your own, I'm not sure the point of this thread beyond trolling.

This thread is already full of moral warriors, who undoubtedly lived perfect lives though.

 

[aswedc]

I won't claim to have the solution to good parenting, but I'll offer my experience as someone who spent a lot of time in high school with someone who did thousands of dollars of drug business....

A parent who takes the moral high ground and pays close attention to their kids lives always wins.

Many parents who use "well, it's ok if this, I'm not going to punish you for that, you can do this illegal thing as long as you don't do that one" very frequently lose.

 

[thepd7]

Originally posted by: SampSon
Your kid is going to do whatever the hell he wants anyway. Since you don't have a child, nor do you support yourself and have never lived on your own, I'm not sure the point of this thread beyond trolling.

This thread is already full of moral warriors, who undoubtedly lived perfect lives though.

How is it being a moral warrior if they are doing something illegal? Not to mention the large fines for MIP's. Who do you think will be paying that for a 15-18 year old?


edit: I have to point out that I just turned 21 in may and I did not drink (other than once a year or so) before hand. When I turned 21 I did buy a bunch of liquor, but it was to mix drinks with or try. I still have never been drunk and I normally have 2-3 with friends and have a great time. I see no point in getting piss ass drunk with the puking, hangover, and blurred memory of the night before.

 

[Philippine Mango]

Originally posted by: SampSon
Your kid is going to do whatever the hell he wants anyway. Since you don't have a child, nor do you support yourself and have never lived on your own, I'm not sure the point of this thread beyond trolling.

This thread is already full of moral warriors, who undoubtedly lived perfect lives though.

Sampson, if I could adopt adult babies, you'd be the first on my list.

 

[Dragoon42]

Originally posted by: SampSon
Your kid is going to do whatever the hell he wants anyway. Since you don't have a child, nor do you support yourself and have never lived on your own, I'm not sure the point of this thread beyond trolling.

This thread is already full of moral warriors, who undoubtedly lived perfect lives though.

hahaha...

 

[DainBramaged]

The thing that I wish that I could have trusted my dad to do was to pick me up when I was drunk. I knew I would get bitched out. When I'm a dad, I'm going to make it clear that while I wouldn't condone getting drunk, I would come and pick the kid up without any discussion as long as he doesn't drive drunk.

 

[AznAnarchy99]

Ive never understood why America makes out drinking like such a horrible thing. I mean like the legal age around most of the world is 18, even 16 in places like Germany, France, and Italy.

 

[mattocs]

Do what most parents do. Tell them you don't want them to drink, but if they do, call and get a ride...any time of night. Don't talk to them about it unless it gets really bad.

 

[flavio]

Originally posted by: BriGy86
my parents were some what like this (although they didn't flat out say i could go out and drink at parties)

my dad always said that he would rather i have a beer in front of him than trying to do it behind his back (and because of that drinking wasn't/ still isn't a big deal for me) they also always made me aware that if i was ever too drunk to drive i could call them at any time of night to get picked up no questions asked because they didn't want me to be driving drunk.

drugs were a flat out no and could get my butt kicked

as for my parents letting me drink before i was 21 it made it so alcohol wasn't a big deal. my parents knew of too many kids that grew up and turned 21 and then made up for all the lost time (I know kids like that myself)

the main thing is to teach them well rounded responsibility and maturity

You had a good dad.

A point though. I think there's little harm in weed. I 'd be a hypocrit if I told my son never to do it. I think the key is encouraging moderation an responsibility in all things....and open communication like your dad with drinking.

 

[LordMorpheus]

My parents gave me these ground rules: Don't drink, but if you need a ride from a party / friends house we'll pick you up no questions asked.

They certainly didn't condone drinking (indeed, I never got sh!tfaced until college), but they made me feel comfortable enough about going to them for help that I wouldn't wind up doing something stupid.

 

[j00fek]

Originally posted by: HotChic
I like the approach my parents took. They instilled a sense of responsibility in me, made me realize that I'm responsible for my decisions and nobody else, taught me how to resist peer pressure and made cool-headed choices, gave me information on the family history of alcoholism, and told me that no matter what happened I could always come home, could always call them for a ride no matter what condition I was in, and that I would be loved no matter what. They also continually expressed pride in me when I made good decisions and reinforced behavior that was sensible.

:thumbsup:

 

[VTHodge]

Buy a few belts. Write "Drunk Driving" on one, "Using Drugs" on one, "Hurting a girl" on one, etc. Tell him that these are the unbreakable rules and that you will beat the living sht out of him if he breaks one. Everything else is left to his responsibility.