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World's funniest joke

C

CorCentral

Banned
The joke runs as follows: Two hunters are out in the woods in New Jersey when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.

The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps 'My friend is dead! What can I do?' The operator says: 'Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.' There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says 'OK, now what?'


LINK
 
Better joke: Three tomatoes are trying to cross the street - Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato. After a while, Baby Tomato starts to lag behind. Papa Tomato goes back, stomps him flat and says CATCH-UP.
 
Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel
Better joke: Three tomatoes are trying to cross the street - Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato. After a while, Baby Tomato starts to lag behind. Papa Tomato goes back, stomps him flat and says CATCH-UP.
Click to expand...

:laugh: Ok.. you got me there.
 
Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel
Better joke: Three tomatoes are trying to cross the street - Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato. After a while, Baby Tomato starts to lag behind. Papa Tomato goes back, stomps him flat and says CATCH-UP.
Click to expand...
:laugh:
 
This one is funnier.

Man walks into a bar and see Eeyore the donkey sitting a table with £5,000 and swigging a large whisky. Man say to the barman "whats the score with this?".

"ah," says the barman, "if you can make him laugh the money's yours, but if you don't you buy him a big whisky, he's had three bottles worth so far".

Man walks over and whispers in Eeyore ear and the donkey bursts out laughing and the man takes the money.

Next week, Eeyore's back in the bar with another five grand on the table when the man comes in again, "what gives this time" he asks the barman. "this time you gotta make him cry" come the reply. So off the man goes and whithin a minute he's back with the 5k and Eeyore's in tears.

"ok" said the barman, "how you manage it"."easy" said the man, "last wweek I told him I had a bigger weenie than him and this week I showed him."
 
Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel
Better joke: Three tomatoes are trying to cross the street - Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato. After a while, Baby Tomato starts to lag behind. Papa Tomato goes back, stomps him flat and says CATCH-UP.
Click to expand...

😕
 
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