Workplace etiquette.

Orsorum

Lifer
Dec 26, 2001
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I work as a Community Assistant in a new apartment complex near my campus; we are technically employees of the Univ. Housing department, but we also work with the leasing office (who handles anything financial, leasing, and so forth).

We have a woman on staff who was previously an Assistant Resident Director on campus (grad student, 26 years old); her position got cut because of budget cuts and so they offered her this position as a place to live until she graduates. There has been some tension between her and the other three CAs, because she used to be in a supervisery role with one of the CAs and is now on an equal footing. There isn't quite the same tension between her and myself and the other man on staff, but it does exist.

This particular question stems from this thread. This came up in a discussion we were having in the office, and I did end up going out and buying a voice recorder - I bought it to use in lectures, but also planned on having it handy if I needed to confront a particularly thorny situation while on duty. I later found out that recording conversations is illegal in WA state unless both parties consent, so I canned it because of that.

In a conversation we were having in the office on Saturday, this woman, myself, and the Assistant Manager of the leasing office, this woman brought the subject up, asked me why I felt insecure about it, basically insinuated that she felt I was doing something improper or wrong, or that this was a signal of an inability to competently perform my job duty. She also stated that she felt uncomfortable with the idea of me having a voice recorder around.

My response was that I hadn't bought the thing precisely for that purpose, and that, yes, when I first thought about buying one I was feeling a dose of paranoia - not stemming from my conduct, but from the fact that I would be completely on my own to corroborate any accusations or problems that might come up on duty. Once I found that it was illegal to tape conversations in said manner, I decided not to use it for that purpose.

I fear she may bring this up yet again in the next staff meeting. I am trying to phrase my response so that it will be professional, but firm. "It is not your duty or your place to critique my actions or to berate me. If you have an issue with my conduct, you are free to talk with (our boss), but this is not an appropriate time or place."

Thoughts?
 

dabuddha

Lifer
Apr 10, 2000
19,579
17
81
Originally posted by: Orsorum
I work as a Community Assistant in a new apartment complex near my campus; we are technically employees of the Univ. Housing department, but we also work with the leasing office (who handles anything financial, leasing, and so forth).

We have a woman on staff who was previously an Assistant Resident Director on campus (grad student, 26 years old); her position got cut because of budget cuts and so they offered her this position as a place to live until she graduates. There has been some tension between her and the other three CAs, because she used to be in a supervisery role with one of the CAs and is now on an equal footing. There isn't quite the same tension between her and myself and the other man on staff, but it does exist.

This particular question stems from this thread. This came up in a discussion we were having in the office, and I did end up going out and buying a voice recorder - I bought it to use in lectures, but also planned on having it handy if I needed to confront a particularly thorny situation while on duty. I later found out that recording conversations is illegal in WA state unless both parties consent, so I canned it because of that.

In a conversation we were having in the office on Saturday, this woman, myself, and the Assistant Manager of the leasing office, this woman brought the subject up, asked me why I felt insecure about it, basically insinuated that she felt I was doing something improper or wrong, or that this was a signal of an inability to competently perform my job duty. She also stated that she felt uncomfortable with the idea of me having a voice recorder around.

My response was that I hadn't bought the thing precisely for that purpose, and that, yes, when I first thought about buying one I was feeling a dose of paranoia - not stemming from my conduct, but from the fact that I would be completely on my own to corroborate any accusations or problems that might come up on duty. Once I found that it was illegal to tape conversations in said manner, I decided not to use it for that purpose.

I fear she may bring this up yet again in the next staff meeting. I am trying to phrase my response so that it will be professional, but firm. "It is not your duty or your place to critique my actions or to berate me. If you have an issue with my conduct, you are free to talk with (our boss), but this is not an appropriate time or place."

Thoughts?

I think you're on the right track. But personally, I'd quit that job. The risks are just too high. Like you said earlier, all it takes is an accusation and your life gets ruined. You might have morals but not everyone out there does.
 

Orsorum

Lifer
Dec 26, 2001
27,631
5
81
Originally posted by: brtspears2
I quit my job at my university housing dept. Bunch of jerks.

I actually really enjoy most of the higher ups, I am good acquaintances with most of the RDs, the ACs, and a couple of the administrators a bit higher up than that; they know me by first name and we're friendly, so I am confident in my position and my ability.

It's mostly this woman and a large majority of the RA's that I don't get along with. If I stay an extra year in undergrad, however, it might be a great thing to do - it would give me a chance to work with an entirely different staff and be a "returner" for once, as well as get to know some professors and my higher ups well enough to ask them for recommendations.
 

Jzero

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
18,834
1
0
I don't fault anyone who tries to cover their ass in the workplace. I expect my coworkers and subordinates to do everything on the up-and-up, and I don't fault them if they expect the same. If she hasn't done anything improper, what is to worry about?
 

Orsorum

Lifer
Dec 26, 2001
27,631
5
81
Originally posted by: dabuddha
I think you're on the right track. But personally, I'd quit that job. The risks are just too high. Like you said earlier, all it takes is an accusation and your life gets ruined. You might have morals but not everyone out there does.

The biggest difference between this job and the RA position in the dorms is that in the dorms, you always have a duty partner when you're confronting situations, so you always have another person backing your opinion. So these last two, three months have been difficult in that regard; I've been goose-stepping just to make sure I don't make any mistakes.

I think the key might just be acclimation, once I get used to it, I'll settle into the personality and confidence that I normally have.
 

Orsorum

Lifer
Dec 26, 2001
27,631
5
81
Originally posted by: Jzero
I don't fault anyone who tries to cover their ass in the workplace. I expect my coworkers and subordinates to do everything on the up-and-up, and I don't fault them if they expect the same. If she hasn't done anything improper, what is to worry about?

It's the creation of drama and the fear that I may be portrayed in a negative light, especially in front of the rest of the staff that irritates me. In the end, most of it is just figuring out how to tell her politely, my business is my business.
 

Orsorum

Lifer
Dec 26, 2001
27,631
5
81
Originally posted by: damiano
cliff notes?

Working as an equal with an ex-superviser, she is trying to act like a superviser and may try to berate me in an official setting, and I am figuring out how to politely and professionally respond.
 

freakflag

Diamond Member
Mar 22, 2001
3,951
1
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Just pat her on the rump, give her a coupla atta-girls' and tell her to go get you a sandwich.

I'm sure everything will be fine from then on.
 

Orsorum

Lifer
Dec 26, 2001
27,631
5
81
Originally posted by: freakflag
Just pat her on the rump, give her a coupla atta-girls' and tell her to go get you a sandwich.

I'm sure everything will be fine from then on.

Haha, that would definitely go over well.