Work vs. Life... to go or not to go.

[imported_Tomato]

Hypothetical situation:

Let's say you work a 9-6 job. It's pretty dead-end, and definitely not what you want to do for the rest of your life. However, you're in the running for a raise and promotion within the next few months, and really don't want to fvck things up, as your boss is reviewing your actions more carefully now.

You have a significant other who you care for very much, and your s/o has to go to his friend's wedding in a city 850 miles (13 hour drive) away. It's too late to buy plane tickets at a reasonable price, and your s/o asks you if you will call into work sick on Friday to leave Thursday night and drive 850 miles to go to the wedding, which will take place Friday night. The wedding is very important to your s/o, as that will be his/her first wedding ever attended, plus you would have the chance to meet all his friends from his hometown. You would have to drive back on Sunday... 13 hours back.

So basically, the choices are:

a) Call in sick to work, drive 13 hours, go to the wedding.

b) Be responsible, go to work, miss the wedding, have s/o go to the wedding alone (because they have to be there).

What would you do?

EDIT: Potential compromise found... try to get excused from work early, buy a 1-way ticket there, go to the wedding, drive back together. THANK YOU ATOT!

 

[Turkish]

Is the wedding on Friday? That's weird. If it was on Saturday or Sunday I would just start driving after work on Friday (with lots of coffee)

 

[imported_Tomato]

Originally posted by: Xiety
Is the wedding on Friday? That's weird. If it was on Saturday or Sunday I would just start driving after work on Friday (with lots of coffee)

Yes, the wedding is Friday evening.

 

[dquan97]

I probably would take a sick day and be with my SO

 

[Mermaidman]

I'd choose "life" over job, but instead of calling in sick, I'd explain my need for a day off to the boss. If you're talking about tomorrow, as in June 11, then that's really not fair to the employer I'd go to work in that case.

 

[waggy]

well IF it was me i would say screw it and go to the wedding. BUT if you really need the job then you should go. if the place knows about the wedding (i assume you tried to get it off?) and you call in sick they will know you lied. wich can backlash on you.

 

[Fiveohhh]

I'd definately call in sick.. If its a deadend job anyway.

 

[imported_Strang]

Not enough information. Do you have sick time or vacation time to take on that day? Have you missed a lot of days as it is (to the point where your boss will have an issue with it)? Are you the only person who can do your job or can someone cover for you?

You may also be able to explain the situation to your boss and take time off that way (depending on the boss -- I know with mine, I'd just call in, heh).

It just doesn't seem like something that would get you fired (or passed over for promotion).

 

[bradruth]

If you don't want to keep doing the job, why do you care about the raise/promotion?

Anyway, I wouldn't call in sick and be dishonest. I would probably ask for the day off or ask to work another day/shift that I wouldn't normally in order to make up for the work that I'd missed. I'd go the honest route, but try my damnedest to go to with my SO.

 

[imported_Tomato]

Originally posted by: Mermaidman
I'd choose "life" over job, but instead of calling in sick, I'd explain my need for a day off to the boss. If you're talking about tomorrow, as in June 11, then that's really not fair to the employer I'd go to work in that case.

Unfortunately, I'm talking as in tomorrow, June 11. News of the wedding was not shared until recently (after the mandatory 2-week notice for a personal day).

 

[Kelvrick]

I would tell them about the wedding. Give them some notice.

State personal reasons, you can't come in tomorrow, but don't want to leave them hanging. Of course, depending on how your boss is, he could say you can't have the day off, then you'd be fired...

Hmm, tough call.

 

[DAGTA]

When you're old and gray are you going to look back and say, "I had a great attendance record at work!" or "I remember when so and so and I went to so and so's wedding and had a great time."?

 

[Mermaidman]

Originally posted by: Dezign

Originally posted by: Mermaidman
I'd choose "life" over job, but instead of calling in sick, I'd explain my need for a day off to the boss. If you're talking about tomorrow, as in June 11, then that's really not fair to the employer I'd go to work in that case.

Unfortunately, I'm talking as in tomorrow, June 11. News of the wedding was not shared until recently (after the mandatory 2-week notice for a personal day).

Well then--THis will be a good test of how understanding your SO is

 

[imported_Strang]

Originally posted by: Dezign

Originally posted by: Mermaidman
I'd choose "life" over job, but instead of calling in sick, I'd explain my need for a day off to the boss. If you're talking about tomorrow, as in June 11, then that's really not fair to the employer I'd go to work in that case.

Unfortunately, I'm talking as in tomorrow, June 11. News of the wedding was not shared until recently (after the mandatory 2-week notice for a personal day).

In that case, I'd just call in (assuming you haven't mentioned the wedding to your boss or to anyone who might blab about it).

Edit: And besides, if the lying about being sick part bothers you, just do what I do and say "I can't make it in today." You don't have to give them a reason.

 

[imported_Tomato]

Originally posted by: Strangone
Not enough information. Do you have sick time or vacation time to take on that day? Have you missed a lot of days as it is (to the point where your boss will have an issue with it)? Are you the only person who can do your job or can someone cover for you?

You may also be able to explain the situation to your boss and take time off that way (depending on the boss -- I know with mine, I'd just call in, heh).

It just doesn't seem like something that would get you fired (or passed over for promotion).

9 vacation days and 1 personal day are left, but a 2-week notice needs to be filed before using them. Not many days have been missed, and 10 sick days are allotted for the year (2 have been used). One other person could cover, but that would be cutting into his responsibilities and duties.

If I had known earlier, I would have notified my boss. Unfortunately, the news was given just recently, and I don't want to risk looking irresponsible by saying "Hey, this Friday I have to go to a wedding, can I have the day off?" That would look pretty bad. My boss has been very generous over the course of the past 2 weeks, letting me take 3-hour lunches to look for an apartment. I don't want it to seem like I'm taking advantage of her generosity, either.

 

[imported_Tomato]

Originally posted by: bradruth
If you don't want to keep doing the job, why do you care about the raise/promotion?

Anyway, I wouldn't call in sick and be dishonest. I would probably ask for the day off or ask to work another day/shift that I wouldn't normally in order to make up for the work that I'd missed. I'd go the honest route, but try my damnedest to go to with my SO.

It'd be nice to get the raise/promotion before/if/when I go... it would be my only one in 2 years.

 

[bradruth]

Originally posted by: Dezign

Originally posted by: bradruth
If you don't want to keep doing the job, why do you care about the raise/promotion?

Anyway, I wouldn't call in sick and be dishonest. I would probably ask for the day off or ask to work another day/shift that I wouldn't normally in order to make up for the work that I'd missed. I'd go the honest route, but try my damnedest to go to with my SO.

It'd be nice to get the raise/promotion before/if/when I go... it would be my only one in 2 years.

Have you discussed this with yo man yet, Dez?

 

[spidey07]

Dez,

Only you can decide the proper course. And I think you know what it is.

For your SO to ask you to jepordize you career for a wedding is darn tacky at best, downright disrespectful at worst.

oh well.

Calling in sick on a friday/monday brings unwelcome attention.

 

[gotsmack]

didn't your boss hose you last time you took a sick day and weren't really sick?

 

[imported_Strang]

Originally posted by: spidey07
Calling in sick on a friday/monday brings unwelcome attention.

Which is why you should feign illness this afternoon to support your case.

 

[shimsham]

id go to work. your so is a big boy, and can handle the wedding on his own. just put in a notice for time off, and go to his hometown then. better than quitting your job.

im sure it could be fun, but wouldnt you worry that when you get home tomorrow you are unemployed? for what, one day of fun? theres plenty of time for that without dumping your responsibilities and income.

 

[brigden]

Two words: food poisoning.

 

[BooGiMaN]

why was notice for such an important wedding that he must absolutely be at given with only one or two days left, what kind crap is that?

unless this is an impromptu wedding in which case there is no way id be driving 26 hours round trip for a anyones wedding, thats just me though, and on top of that asking my significant other to do the same knowing they have a responsibility to go to work..

what is he doing, does he work?

 

[TitanDiddly]

Explain it to your boss if they're the understanding type. If you have a laptop, offer to do work on the road when not driving.
If not, leave your boss a voicemail at 2AM in a very sick voice that you know that you won't be able to make it to work the next day, and that you're going to switch off your alarm clock so that you can recover and come in ASAP.

 

[imported_Tomato]

Originally posted by: spidey07
Dez,

Only you can decide the proper course. And I think you know what it is.

For your SO to ask you to jepordize you career for a wedding is darn tacky at best, downright disrespectful at worst.

oh well.

Calling in sick on a friday/monday brings unwelcome attention.

Hi spidey... unfortunately, I think I do know what the "proper course" is. I care about my SO very, very much, but I've already gotten into trouble at work because of my own decisions related to him (staying in too long in the mornings to cuddle/make him a sandwich for work, arriving at my own workplace 20-30 minutes late, getting reprimended for it).

My relationship with my boss is good again, and I really appreciate her flexibility when it came to my apartment-hunting. She's been very generous in terms of giving me time for my move, and I don't want to come across as disrespectful/irresponsible/ungrateful. I don't love my job, but I would like a promotion and eventually to leave with a good recommendation.

I just e-mailed my SO to tell him I wouldn't be able to go. He just wrote back with:

"fine. ill see you monday.

i will be driving by myself for 12-16 hours.

i guess we make different choices and see sh!t differently. you get scared by an email and flake on me. so i got to rough it myself."

The e-mail he's referring to is one in which my boss wrote:

"You've been coming in late on a pretty regular basis. I know that I said it's ok if you're late as long as you call to advise us. That doesn't mean though that you can come in late regurarly as long as you call. You really do need to try to be here on time (give or take a few minutes). It's ok if your late on occasion and I appreciate that you call on such occasions but do try to be here on time as a rule. Also, with lunch....again, it's ok for you to take more time on occasion. When you were moving, no problem to take extra time but under most circumstances, you need to keep it to about an hour. We do all have to attend to personal matters during lunch and that's perfectly acceptable but on the whole, please try to adhere to company policy regarding lunch.

I hope you understand that I'm bringing these matters up in an attempt to help you. I do really want to see you get promotions and decent pay raises (as much as that is possible given the pay raises our company seems inclined to provide). On the whole, you have been improving. I really do believe that you are an extremely bright and capable person who could easily fulfill your responsibilities with a little more attentiveness and I am happy to help you in anyway I am able to that end.

Please feel free to talk to me about any of the above. I'm happy to discuss anything with you."

I understand why he's upset... I would be, too. Driving 13-16 hours alone and going to a wedding alone sucks. *sigh*