Women experts...what does this mean (I need you there, but you are always there, and its kind of pathetic)

bigbootydaddy

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Sep 14, 2000
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my ex..(pic of her and me) and i officially dont talk anymore. she called me last week at work and told me she loved me. i was able then to put a lot of fear about what she thought about me behind me and was focused now on a strong friendship in order to make a good foundation.

last ngiht i told her to stop hurting moi. she was understanding, but out of the blue, I get this:

<< &quot;I need you there, but you are always there, and its kind of pathetic&quot; >>



WWWWHHHHHAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT!!!!! arg i wanted to smack the wall. it really made me feel worthless. why would someone say this???

and it turns out she was starting a new relationship when i got the &quot;i love you&quot; phone call. ouch baby, definetly ouch.

edit: she is in chicago, im in houston. long distance sucks.
 

MrDudeMan

Lifer
Jan 15, 2001
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put this in some plain english. i dont understand what happened. she said i love you, and what are you gripping about?
 

bigbootydaddy

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she said it.
then i found out she was already seeing someone else when she did.
then last night i got the &quot;I need you there, but you are always there, and its kind of pathetic&quot;


arg.
 

ArkAoss

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Aug 31, 2000
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she said she needs you, but your always there when she needs you, and thats pathetic in her eyes? i dunno man, im as lost as you.... with girls that is...

hey right now, my girl wants me to help her find a job, should I try to get her a job at the place I'm at, or what, also I'm not sure how long I might be staying here, as the pay isn't nearly what I need right now,
 

Total Refected Power

Diamond Member
Oct 13, 1999
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She sounds confused. It also sounds like she doesn't respect you. That is a key ingredient to any relationship. I would be wary!!!!
 

Sgt.Speculum

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Oct 9, 1999
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Well, my interpretation of this, is that she is just making sure that you are waiting around for her. Think about it, she's starting a new relationship, might work, might not work (probably won't if she left you to pursue it). But what better reassurance is there to know that you'll be waiting there to pick up the pieces if things don't work out.

Dude, cut your losses, don't be the doormat. My advice would be to return to the &quot;not talking anymore&quot; situation. Oh, and be prepared for her to come back, talking about mistakes, bad decisions. It'll happen maybe not next week, next month, but she'll be back. And I'd think long and hard before I made any decisions....good luck. there's plenty more out there and you deserve better anyhow.
 

bigbootydaddy

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Sep 14, 2000
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ark...

i dunno about the job thing. my ex now wants to go to UT and i was gonna go there next year. i was excited at first, and now im like, its gonna mess everything up. i think depending on the terms you are on with her you could help. just because youre not together doesnt mean you cant be supportive, which i tried to be for my ex.
 

MrDudeMan

Lifer
Jan 15, 2001
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that doesnt make ANY sense....i need you there, but you are always there, and thats pathetic.....?!?!? this girl has a few problems...1) grammatical errors all over the place, 2) way confusing, and 3) i dunno, women just need another problem so we can b|tch about them more =)


nah i dunno man, that is odd behavior. if i were you, id just call her back or the next time you talk to her, be like &quot;what is it that you really want?&quot; and get a straight up answer from her

well thats what id do, i dont like to play the &quot;catch me if you can&quot; game

know what i mean?
 

Adul

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
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danny.tangtam.com
How old are you two? She sounds like she is confused, or she is using you has the old stnad by. If I where you, I wouldn't put up with it anymore. Yes you may hurt, but in the end you will be better off. It is not worth going through hell when you can find someone else who will respect you.
 

MrDudeMan

Lifer
Jan 15, 2001
15,069
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yeah that might be a bad idea to work with them. if you are having a fight and you need to have some space for a day...you really cant have the tensionless envirornment you need knowing he/she is there with you.

yeah, i agree with the post about ditch her. she is using you as her napkin for her next meal. maybe she wont need you because she isnt sloppy, but if she spills spaghetti..guess who gets to clean it up?


ill call in for backup..think about retreating man


P.s. maybe this isnt as it seems,
and she didnt know how to say it, but
it sure doesnt appear that way
 

Adul

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
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danny.tangtam.com
Don't let her keep you from going to that school. Just because she is there. It is a large campus and they are a lot of people to meet, women to date etc.
 

bigbootydaddy

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Sep 14, 2000
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<< that doesnt make ANY sense....i need you there, but you are always there, and thats pathetic.....?!?!? this girl has a few problems...1) grammatical errors all over the place, 2) way confusing, and 3) i dunno, women just need another problem so we can b|tch about them more =) >>



yeah i know its real hard to read (lol) but thats the jist of it,
in simpler terms:
&quot;please do it, you always do, but you suck cause you do.&quot;

Adul
we are both almost 20...i know its young, but i realy went to some tuff sh..tuff with her and whatnot..the long distance thing,and she did open up a new side to me and turn a ugly rock over, that is why i am so loyal.

i am leaning to not talking to her until she makes a move...but in my head..shes all i think about

i did call and told her i wanted a straight up answer. no dice.
 

Isla

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Sep 12, 2000
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<< I need you there, but you are always there, and its kind of pathetic&quot; >>



She is kind of pathetic. She's lovely, but what a screwed up thing to think or say.

She needs to grow up some before you want her back, trust me.
 

MrDudeMan

Lifer
Jan 15, 2001
15,069
91
91
that doesnt make ANY sense....i need you there, but you are always there, and thats pathetic.....?!?!? this girl has a few problems...1) grammatical errors all over the place, 2) way confusing, and 3) i dunno, women just need another problem so we can b|tch about them more =)


nah i dunno man, that is odd behavior. if i were you, id just call her back or the next time you talk to her, be like &quot;what is it that you really want?&quot; and get a straight up answer from her

well thats what id do, i dont like to play the &quot;catch me if you can&quot; game

know what i mean?
 

ArkAoss

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Aug 31, 2000
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me and my girl are on pretty good terms. But your girl wants to go to Utah? that is very wierd, I have an old girl friend that moved out there, she's kind of extremly dependant on having someone, and I don't want that, and she wants to be friends, and is lonely out there, and has no job, so she emails me, and has even called me once, OH SHOOT!! just realized that I better get rid of last months cell bill 'fore my pops see's it. UTAH isn't easy to ignore!@!! shoot.. it shows all inbound calls....

that'll be hard to explain to my present girl... it was embarassing enough she called while I was at work..
 

Missus

Golden Member
Feb 15, 2000
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I am female...For what its worth

I have to say... She is fickle and you can do better...

She is not worth banging your head against the wall for... ;)

She doesn't know what she wants and not mature enough for a lasting relationship...

;)

Keep Grinnin'!
 

Tauren

Diamond Member
Jan 30, 2001
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(Just a guess)

Sounds like she wants to know you're there if she needs a fall back. The part about pathetic... well women want what they can't have (not all). Be a challenge and she will respect you more. Noone REALLY wants someone they can lord over, it gets boring REALLY fast. (been there, done that) Just do what you want, when you want. If it was meant to be she'll be3 back. If not then sh*t would have blown-up eventually.
 

Ornery

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
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Pssst, bigbootydaddy, women are irrational. And they can't even deny it! More bad news. Your next girl will be irrational too. Get used to it... :(
 

geno

Lifer
Dec 26, 1999
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lol, good point!

If you wanna stay on good terms with her, try to talk to her about it. Ask her you don't understand what she's trying to say. I'm sure if she still wants to make it work she'll be more than willing to speak to you about it. It's better than assuming IMO...
 

bigbootydaddy

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Sep 14, 2000
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should i still be supportive? she is goign thru a lot too, hence the confusion, and i dont want to see her suffer cause her hapiness means a lot to me.
 

Tauren

Diamond Member
Jan 30, 2001
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Sometimes it's healthier to think of the emotional damage a situation will cause, rather than how you FEEL. An emotion is just an emotion.