Woman takes on social media body shaming

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Captante

Lifer
Oct 20, 2003
30,316
10,814
136
For those interested, it not always roses and tulips for those of us who are physically and mentally perfect. The only advantage I can think of that it might confer is it's so obviously true I have no need to prove it.

Fortunately this shouldn't be a problem for you! ;)
 

Moonbeam

Elite Member
Nov 24, 1999
73,286
6,351
126
Fortunately this shouldn't be a problem for you! ;)
It isn’t. I have no need to prove it.

So ask yourself why did I even suggest I am perfect in the first place.

What is this thread about? I thought it was about women taking on body shaming by showing the tricks of posing, no. And am I ever interested in treating systems, or do I always go to one simple truth about people that explains universally why we are so fucked up?

Why do people pose? Why do we want to knock people off their high horses even where their achievements may be real. If I were to tell you the thing I alway say, that it is because we hate ourselves I get “ you are telling us bullshit”, so when I suggest I have no need to compensate, to pose, you seek to remind me of my feet of clay.

So let’s just say that the point of my post was very much different than you may have thought.

Now imagine a world where you and everyone else was so perfect it would simply never enter anyone’s head to pretend to be better.
 

HomerJS

Lifer
Feb 6, 2002
36,730
28,908
136
I don't understand complaining about body shaming when you are posting your body up for the entire world to see.

Absent that you wouldn't get shamed.
 
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Moonbeam

Elite Member
Nov 24, 1999
73,286
6,351
126
I'm going with delusional. ;)
Then I will try again with different words:

People who pose do so because they feel shame. But the shame is so deep they will never allow themselves to know it is what drives their need to pose. Now just imagine what life would be like if you had not only become conscious that you felt such shame but actually relived how you came by it. And suppose, furthermore you had discovered that deeply hidden sense of shame, in the process of reliving, it revealed to you additionally and with absolute certainty that it was a lie, and that all of the reasons you are capable as an adult of feeling inferior about any and everything, as a consequence of that knowledge, simply went away.

Now what is the difference between someone who no longer has the capacity to be humiliated and somebody who is perfect and knows without a doubt that he or she is. Such a person would no longer need to pose about anything nor have any unconscious need to shame anyone else.

But rest assured, that anybody still unaware of their own inner feelings of shame will be very upset when they discover that their best attempts to get under such a person's skin are doomed to fail.
 

Moonbeam

Elite Member
Nov 24, 1999
73,286
6,351
126
You don't actually HAVE to do this! ;)

(well to be fair maybe you DO but not for my sake!)
You assume I don't know 'for your sake' better than you do.

Mulla Nasrudin used to tell the people in his village that he could see in the dark. One night he was seen busying himself in the middle of the night carrying a torch. When confronted about it he said. I was carry it so the night-blind don't accidentally run into me.

But seriously, what kind of a person would I be if I knew there is nothing you need to be ashamed about, but that you do anyway, and I didn't tell you it was unnecessary? Did you ever sympathize with with the expression, "If I didn't have bad luck I wouldn't have any luck at all" How about, "Just my luck" when something bad happens. I have no doubt at all as to why you're not seeing all of what I have told you as your lucky day. Knock of wood, anything good will turn out to be a jinx. Nothing good happens to the those who feel worthless.
 
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Captante

Lifer
Oct 20, 2003
30,316
10,814
136
You assume I don't know 'for your sake' better than you do.

Mulla Nasrudin used to tell the people in his village that he could see in the dark. One night he was seen busying himself in the middle of the night carrying a torch. When confronted about it he said. I was carry it so the night-blind don't accidentally run into me.

But seriously, what kind of a person would I be if I knew there is nothing you need to be ashamed about, but that you do anyway, and I didn't tell you it was unnecessary? Did you ever sympathize with with the expression, "If I didn't have bad luck I wouldn't have any luck at all" How about, "Just my luck" when something bad happens. I have no doubt at all as to why you're not seeing all of what I have told you as your lucky day. Knock of wood, anything good will turn out to be a jinx. Nothing good happens to the those who feel worthless.


You're like the "Energizer-Bunny" of nonsense! :cool:
 
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Moonbeam

Elite Member
Nov 24, 1999
73,286
6,351
126
You're like the "Energizer-Bunny" of nonsense! :cool:
What you mean to say is that truth that comes from a dimension you can't enter will present a constant surprise. It is easy to maintain consistency if you simply tell the truth. And it also means that knowing the truth means you also instantly and easily recognize what is false.

Truth has its own power source.
 
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Tracey2trn

Junior Member
Feb 25, 2021
2
3
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This article came across my news feed. I think this young lady does a great job shedding some light on how social media can be a very negative influence in our lives. It's become so easy to spread disinformation, propaganda, and FUD that it's doing a real number on society. This is a not-so-political example, but news just the same.


I don't understand why so many people are against Social Media. Why do you only look at the negative things from Social media? There is a positive dose of things for Social Media. If Social Media hadn't existed, many people would have been misinformed about everything happening worldwide. Thanks to Social Media, anyone of any age is aware of the news that is happening in the world. Plus, through Social Media, you can learn many interesting things, even a foreign language, with the help of different online courses. And let's not forget that this is an equal opportunity for everyone to make money. That's what I did. I bought Instagram followers from 1394TA, and now Instagram is an additional source of money. I think Social Media has several positive aspects. You have to analyze and understand them.
 
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Captante

Lifer
Oct 20, 2003
30,316
10,814
136
Thank you for sharing the article. But I don't agree with all that is written here. I don't understand why but people see only the negative part of Social Media? But why anybody say about the good effects?


What are your "feels" on spam-bots? :p ;)
 
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ch33zw1z

Lifer
Nov 4, 2004
38,201
18,670
146
Thank you for sharing the article. But I don't agree with all that is written here. I don't understand why but people see only the negative part of Social Media? But why anybody say about the good effects?
Maybe because the negative often out weighs the good. Feel free to provide evidence to the contrary.
 
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Captante

Lifer
Oct 20, 2003
30,316
10,814
136
So...... the 'bot's are feeling "incredibly seen by this big mood" now too?

:oops: :rolleyes:

Screen_Shot_2018-01-23_at_12.03.20_PM.jpg
 
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ivwshane

Lifer
May 15, 2000
32,548
15,425
136
Is "social media" that much worse than just "mass media" of any kind?

Comparing yourself to unrealistic images (which are not exclusively either visual or of bodies) is surely something that began with mass media?

Once-upon-a-time we only had to compare ourselves with the richest or most athletic or toughest or best-looking person in our village or tribe. Now we are constantly presented with curated and cherry-picked images of the exceptional from across the globe.

Yes. The biggest difference between mass media and social media is the ability to target and surround people with a bubble of ever decreasing diversity.

Imagine growing up liking all sorts of m&m’s, chocolate, peanut butter, peanut, green, yellow, etc. then as you got older the amount of m&m’s you were exposed to started shrinking. Then not only were your interactions with other m&m’s limited, you were then exposed to the idea that only green m&m’s were good until finally you started slowly being bombarded with the idea that all other m&m’s are horrible or deadly even.

Seems silly but that’s the level of programming social media does to people. Ever decreasing bubbles of influence and a magnification of “others are bad”.
 
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Mai72

Lifer
Sep 12, 2012
11,562
1,741
126
I'm so glad that I didn't grow up with social.

imagine 2 young guys go to the beach. One is very good looking friend 8/10, and the other guy is about average 5/10. Pics are taken at the beach and uploaded to Instagram.

Comments come in...

The good looking chad has the majority of the upvotes. Hundreds of upvotes. Girls are commenting "he's hot" and "sooo cute" etc..
The other guy: The very few comments that are posted are very negative. "Ewww, gross" And he has like 2 upvotes. Himself and his mother. lol

Just substitute the young men for women in my scenario. Is it any wonder why depression, isolation and unhappiness are an all time high among teens and young adults? If you aren't beautiful and fit the sterotype of what a man or woman should be like, than you are considered a loser. Never mind finding a a great career and a relationship that brings fulfillment. Nope. Now, its looks and status. More so than ever because of social media.
 

ivwshane

Lifer
May 15, 2000
32,548
15,425
136
I don't understand why so many people are against Social Media. Why do you only look at the negative things from Social media? There is a positive dose of things for Social Media. If Social Media hadn't existed, many people would have been misinformed about everything happening worldwide. Thanks to Social Media, anyone of any age is aware of the news that is happening in the world. Plus, through Social Media, you can learn many interesting things, even a foreign language, with the help of different online courses. And let's not forget that this is an equal opportunity for everyone to make money. That's what I did. I bought Instagram followers from 1394TA, and now Instagram is an additional source of money. I think Social Media has several positive aspects. You have to analyze and understand them.

Lol no. Maybe in the beginning when social media was pure and free from bots and organizations trying to spread disinformation but now people who rely on social media are more likely to be misinformed.

 

HomerJS

Lifer
Feb 6, 2002
36,730
28,908
136
While not endorsing body shaming, why do people that complain about it continue to post their pictures to be scrutinized by the entire world?
 
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Captante

Lifer
Oct 20, 2003
30,316
10,814
136
Social media like any information-source is a double-edged sword ... it can be used for good or bad.

Thing is that the "bad" gets all the press.... just like everything else.
 

Kaido

Elite Member & Kitchen Overlord
Feb 14, 2004
48,704
5,456
136
Social media can be as positive or negative as you want it to be. The problem is the majority of people don't know how to just ignore the negative stuff or get it off their feed. They would rather engage in it and see it than remove it and never see it.

I heard a quote recently that I really love:

"People don't want to be right; they just want to be mad."

Negative people on social media seem to fall into 2 groups:

1. People who are haters (because you get to be MAD!)
2. People who hate the haters (because then you get to feel righteous justification AND still be mad!)

I use the Relay System as an example:

1. We feel a feeling
2. We accept that as real & true, rather auditing it
3. We put that out into the world (we say stuff to people, we do stuff, we type stuff online)

Most people don't really realize that (1) the Relay System exists, or (2) that we can audit how we feel & then DECIDE how we want to respond (if we even want to respond at all!). Which means that people go online & hate stuff, and then a second group of people hate on the haters. Which ultimately creates the exact set of conditions you described: people don't seem to realize that THEY have the power to ignore negative stuff on their feed! And then they feel compelled to respond to it because of the pressure from their internal Relay System, which makes it easy to either get mad or else to get mad at the haters & then feel self-justified!

I spend a lot of time on reddit, which can be a cesspool, or can be a super-ultra-amazing goldmine of a resource for niche interests. I have follow like 1,000 subs at this point, everything from R/C airplanes to cooking. Same with Facebook groups...a lot of people hate on people who use Facebook, but I'm on a TON of really wonderful special-interest groups that really add a lot of value to my life!

We have control over our attitude, what we expose ourselves to by choice, and how we choose to respond. It's an easy trap to let the negative win & get mad, or else jump on the bandwagon of "hating the haters"...if that's where we want to individually spend our free time, I guess!
 

Kaido

Elite Member & Kitchen Overlord
Feb 14, 2004
48,704
5,456
136
While not endorsing body shaming, why do people that complain about it continue to post their pictures to be scrutinized by the entire world?

One, fame, two, money. Once you get enough followers, you can do sponsored posts, where you get paid to feature a product or a service. Imagine having a product where you can pay some random TikTok person $3,000 to show it directly to 100,000 people who are the EXACT target audience you're looking for! (a basic billboard in a large city can be like $14k to show to a bunch of random people!) I buy crap like this all the time as a result LOL. Like I got this rice baller because it looked awesome, totally didn't think it would work, and IT DID!


Then I learned (again off TikTok) that I can use it to make chocolate truffles!

 

Moonbeam

Elite Member
Nov 24, 1999
73,286
6,351
126
Yes. The biggest difference between mass media and social media is the ability to target and surround people with a bubble of ever decreasing diversity.

Imagine growing up liking all sorts of m&m’s, chocolate, peanut butter, peanut, green, yellow, etc. then as you got older the amount of m&m’s you were exposed to started shrinking. Then not only were your interactions with other m&m’s limited, you were then exposed to the idea that only green m&m’s were good until finally you started slowly being bombarded with the idea that all other m&m’s are horrible or deadly even.

Seems silly but that’s the level of programming social media does to people. Ever decreasing bubbles of influence and a magnification of “others are bad”.
 

Moonbeam

Elite Member
Nov 24, 1999
73,286
6,351
126
A progressive liberal in the way I view liberal, is a person who has survived childhood with some sense of capacity to feel empathy in tack. Such a liberal feels pain him or herself when exposed to the pain others are feeling. A true liberal then, and again in my opinion, is a person whose core values consist of a will to save all sentient beings from suffering.

This is the kind of person who will oppose body shaming and all other kinds of shaming generally in the knowledge that to willfully shame others is the result of self hate, the internalization of being shamed themselves to the point of self hate.

This also explains why every good intention is met with rage. The prison we suffer from is our own self hate and when anybody tells you the nature of your prison all that can be heard is that somebody is shaming me for being a self inflicted victim of my own negativity. Let's shut up all such people. When everything is utter shit at least we will all be equal. We just have to do away with any notion of hope there is anything at all that is good.
 

Stokely

Platinum Member
Jun 5, 2017
2,224
2,994
136
Get the hell off social media...if not problem "solved"--there are after all real-world bullies and trolls--it's a hell of a lot better.

Of course social media is "essential" to everyone so that won't happen.

Hell even this forum isn't moderated as much as most I frequent and it's still a lot better than social media. There's a ton of incel trolls just aching to get their rocks off bringing the rest of the world down to their level, just don't give them the chance. You aren't going to convince them to stop, that's for sure.
 
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DAPUNISHER

Super Moderator CPU Forum Mod and Elite Member
Super Moderator
Aug 22, 2001
29,561
24,422
146
Get the hell off social media...if not problem "solved"--there are after all real-world bullies and trolls--it's a hell of a lot better.
That's the salient point. People never change. When I was growing up they came at you IRL, worse by almost every metric than online bullying. I was tall, thin, with freckles; so "bean pole", "when you stand sideways and stick out your tongue you look like a zipper", "Does your mom have to put rocks in your pockets to keep the wind from blowing you away?" and my favorite "You look like you stood behind a screen door and someone threw shit at you" were staples in their arsenal of insults. I don't know how you fail to grow a thick skin after a while. Instead people commit suicide and suffer serious depression over it. Or perhaps it is merely another trigger for an already fragile person that isn't getting the mental health care they need?

Growing up, if we were butt hurt and went to our parents about being insulted you'd get the sticks and stones mantra. Is that not a thing anymore? Of course my pop was a grizzled WWII vet and divisional boxing champ, and it was a different time. If the bullying and harassment were chronic, he'd tell you to throw them a beating. If the kid was much older, he'd tell one of my older bros to do it.

Online is so much easier when they aren't also a real life bully. That is the situation where aiding the victims most needs to occur. As I can understand how the constant barrage and no place to escape from it, would eat away at you. But online only? If that is affecting you IRL, you need to find a healthy outlet for the emotional damage, or else.

I will say this for bullying, I prefer that straight forward approach be used on me. Rather than the passive aggressive spineless jellyfish style so many use now. At least the bullies are very unlikely to pull off the victim card afterwards.
 
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