Woke up this morning, started to sneeze

[JulesMaximus]

I had a cigarette and a cup of tea
I looked in the mirror what did I see
A nine stone weakling with knobbly knees
I did my knees bend press ups touch my toes
I had another sneeze and I blew my nose
I looked in the mirror at my pigeon chest
I had to put on my clothes because it made me depressed
Surely there must be a way
For me to change the shape I'm in
Dissatisfied is what I am
I want to be a better man

 

[Nograts]

When all of a sudden with a huge clatter,
Elevenpog appeared with a protein platter.
"Young man with the bitch bod," he bellowed in fury
"Get off your ass and to the gym in a hurry."
From there with haste they quickly departed,
to the weight rack they arrived and promptly got started.
At first Jules bitched and moaned as he sweat,
begging Eleven if they were through yet.
Eleven glared with hate and rage in his eye,
"If you you were a woman would you spread your thighs?"
Jules nodded and continued his pain,
with thoughts of results and mad broseph gains.
A few short months later with a bulge in his limbs,
Jules placed the 100s down with a big grin.
"Is that all you have, is there nothing more?"
Elevenpog laughed and rolled on the floor.
"The lessons been learned, for that I am sure"
He disappeared in a blast of grandeur.
Jules looked a bit stunned but the message was clear,
The man in the mirror had always been there.

 

[Naer]

Mom's spaghetti

 

[BoomerD]

Woke up, fell out of bed
Dragged a comb across my head
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup
And looking up I noticed I was late
Found my coat and grabbed my hat
Made the bus in seconds flat
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke
And somebody spoke and I went into a dream

 

[denis280]

Well, I woke up Sunday morning
With no way to hold my head that didn't hurt.
And the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad,
So I had one more for dessert.
Then I fumbled in my closet through my clothes
And found my cleanest dirty shirt.
Then I washed my face and combed my hair
And stumbled down the stairs to meet the day.

​