Throwmeabone
Senior member
This man is the single source of all the pain, tears, and dysfunction in our family from day one.
After marrying my mother, he abandoned her for 3 years in Pakistan. Then he came back out of the blue and said he was taking her to America. She gave up her established medical profession to completely start over and come with him.
During this intensely difficult time, he would tell her that she wasn't good enough to become a doctor here and to give up. Before I was born, she had given up speaking to him for months at a time and he was completely fine with it. She told me recently that he had even hit her back then.
My whole childhood is filled with memories of my parents fighting every single day and the fights were almost always initiated by him, often breaking down to the point of him throwing and breaking dishes. He is like a child that can't control himself.
Even now he is short tempered, unable to interact normally with other human beings, void of any morality, disablingly cheap, and steadily becoming senile.
After my mom's sister died recently this is what he told me:
"You're getting older now and your mom won't talk about things like this with you but I have to tell you. Your aunt's death was a huge tragedy for everyone. I could even see your mom thinking about suicide because of this."
What kind of person says something like that? And my mom is a psychiatrist. She helps people every day out of depression. She is the strongest person in our family.
It is not possible to have a normal back and forth exchange of ideas with him because his thinking is disturbed and perverted.
The whole time he has been in the picture, he has been a harmful component of our family. The only credit I can give him is that he supported my mom in the early years before she started working. Now she is making several times what he does. He's not contributing anything to the financial well being of our family and is only serving to hurt whatever emotional well being we have.
I can not stand him for a second any more and there is no hope for diplomacy. I wish my mom would end this sorry excuse for a relationship and leave him because we have nothing to gain from him being here.
My mom's approach to dealing with him is as this: He is an INSANE individual and therefore there is no reason to feel the hurt or pain from his actions that she would if a normal person did those things. I think this is a fucked up solution, but it could be the only one.
I can't consider him anything to me more than a sperm donor. You're all going to tell me to leave, but that won't do any good for my mom and my sister. I've already made up my mind that I won't attend his funeral.
After marrying my mother, he abandoned her for 3 years in Pakistan. Then he came back out of the blue and said he was taking her to America. She gave up her established medical profession to completely start over and come with him.
During this intensely difficult time, he would tell her that she wasn't good enough to become a doctor here and to give up. Before I was born, she had given up speaking to him for months at a time and he was completely fine with it. She told me recently that he had even hit her back then.
My whole childhood is filled with memories of my parents fighting every single day and the fights were almost always initiated by him, often breaking down to the point of him throwing and breaking dishes. He is like a child that can't control himself.
Even now he is short tempered, unable to interact normally with other human beings, void of any morality, disablingly cheap, and steadily becoming senile.
After my mom's sister died recently this is what he told me:
"You're getting older now and your mom won't talk about things like this with you but I have to tell you. Your aunt's death was a huge tragedy for everyone. I could even see your mom thinking about suicide because of this."
What kind of person says something like that? And my mom is a psychiatrist. She helps people every day out of depression. She is the strongest person in our family.
It is not possible to have a normal back and forth exchange of ideas with him because his thinking is disturbed and perverted.
The whole time he has been in the picture, he has been a harmful component of our family. The only credit I can give him is that he supported my mom in the early years before she started working. Now she is making several times what he does. He's not contributing anything to the financial well being of our family and is only serving to hurt whatever emotional well being we have.
I can not stand him for a second any more and there is no hope for diplomacy. I wish my mom would end this sorry excuse for a relationship and leave him because we have nothing to gain from him being here.
My mom's approach to dealing with him is as this: He is an INSANE individual and therefore there is no reason to feel the hurt or pain from his actions that she would if a normal person did those things. I think this is a fucked up solution, but it could be the only one.
I can't consider him anything to me more than a sperm donor. You're all going to tell me to leave, but that won't do any good for my mom and my sister. I've already made up my mind that I won't attend his funeral.
