Will the next pres. please stand up, please stand up? (a parody)


Diamond Member
Nov 10, 1999
To the crappy song "Real Slim Shady" by Eminem...

"May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will Jim Lehrer please stand up?
I repeat, will Jim Lehrer please stand up?
We're going to have a problem here

Ya'll act like you never seen a dumb Texan before
jaws all on the floor like Al and Tipper just burst in the door
started whoopin her ass worse than before
they first get at it at the DNC before(scream)
It's the return of the
"Oh wait, no way, your kidding, he didn't just say subliminabadable, did
And Bill Clinton said
....Nothing you idiots Bill Clinton's influence is dead, he's locked in Gore's basement (haha)
Feminists women love Gore
Chicka chicka chicka friggin election I'm sick of it
look them, walking around thinkin about you know who
talkin to undecided voters "yeah, but hes so cute though"
Yea Dubya?s probably got a couple of screws up in his head loose
but no worse than what's going on in da Gore?s bedrooms
Sometimes we see they just wanna get on TV and just let loose,
but can't, but its cool for Bill Clinton to hump an ugly moose
my cigar is in your *($#@, my cigar is in your *($#@
and if I'm lucky you might just believe me
and that's the message that we deliver to little kids
and expect them not to know what a real politician is.
Of course they gonna know what a politician is
by the time they hit 4th grade,
they got CNN don't they?
We ain't nothing but mammals; well some of us cannibals
who verbally rip each other open like cantaloupes.
But if we can hump ugly interns and secretaries
then there's no reason that Gore and Bush can't get along
But if you feel like I feel I got the antidote.
Undecideds screw the questions and sing the chorus...

I'm G. Dubya
Yes I'm the real Dubya
All you other G. Dubyas are just imitating
So won't the real G. Dubya ...
Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up
becuase I'm G. Dubya
Yes I'm the real Dubya
All you other G. Dubyas are just imitating
So won't the real G. Dubya...
Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up

G Dubya don't gotta make sense in his speeches to get your vote
Well its not my fault I'm dyslexic, so stop with the subliminabadble message!
You think I give a damn about the middle class?
Half of you voters can't even understand me, let alone vote for mme.
"But Dubya what if u win wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? Because I'm dumb and look like the someone outta Seuss?
So you can sit me here next to Jim Lehrer and Al Gore.
Shit, Cheney better switch me chairs, cuz I'm screwed
So I can sit next to Joe Lieberman and that guy who screwed Ducacus
And hear 'em argue over whose military is best.
Little bitch gimme some coke
"yeah he's cute but I think he's stoned, hehe"
Yes, but its not me, its the Washington hypocrisy that?s stoned
And show the whole world how you gave G. Dubya A.D.D.(scream)
I'm sick of you vice presidents, all you do is annoy me
So I've been sent here to destroy you
And there?s a million of us just like me
Who talk like me
Who just don't like the dems like me
Who get high like me
Follow, listen, and joke like me
I just might be the next best thing
For this countr-y

I'm Al Gore
Yes I'm the real Vice p
All you other VPs are just imitating
So won't the real vice pres...
Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up
becuase I'm VP
Yes I'm the real Vice P
All you other VPs are just imitating
So won't the real vice pres...
Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up

I'm like a headtrip to listen to
Cause I'm mostly giving you
what you want to hear when you're with friends inside your living room
The only difference is I lull you ta? sleep and talk about lockboxes
And I sometimes embellish and use fancy terms but
I just get on the mic and spit it
And whether you like to admit it (rip)
I just know my shit it better than all da? George Dubyas out there
Then you wonder how can undecides snort these debates like Dubya's coke.
Its funny cuz at the rate im going when I'm 90
I?ll be the only person in the nursing home still figuring out why we don't have social security
Talkin to Bill Clinton and thinkin about it all and whether social security was doomed before 2k
But this whole bag of viagara isn't working
Scratch that from my patients bill of rights
Dubya could be workin at Burger King spitten on your onion rings
If his daddy wasn't famous
screaming gimme more booze
With his windows down and snortin up
So will the real next pres, please stand up
and put one of those fingers on each hand up
and to be proud to be able to vote
regarless of whether they both suck so four more years
decided right here..."

-zippy (c)2000

I know its not that funny, but I got reallllly bored and thought I'd try my hand at some lyric alterations. ;)

BTW, I don't necessarily agree with some of the things portrayed in this thread...by me...but I put them in there for some comedy. :p


Diamond Member
Jun 21, 2000
That was good!....... You do know that there really is one out like that using that exact tune don't you? I don't know all the words but the main part says I'm Goreshady.....blah, blah, blah....! Really heard that on some station while I was driving the other day....radio was in "scam" mode and I stopped it when I heard the Goreshady part! :D


Diamond Member
Dec 6, 1999
Inspiration. :)

(to the tune of Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm)

The Damnation of Intel Users

Once, there was this kid who
Bought an Intel computer because he thought it was cool.
But when he finally got it
He had become an old man
He said it was because
Intel couldn?t ramp up production.

(Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm)

Once, there was this girl who
Wouldn?t use the Intel computer in the computer room
And when they finally made her,
They saw her convulse and twist her body around.
She could quite well explain it,
Intel computers are possessed by the Devil.

(Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm)

And both girl and boy were mad,
Because one kid had it better than that.

Cause then, there was this boy whose
Parents bought him an AMD computer.
And when they went to their church,
God looked highly upon them.
They couldn?t quite explain it
Until an angel told them AMD was holy.

(Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm)



Diamond Member
Nov 10, 1999
Hey, thanks guys. :) I didn't think it was that good, but the author is always harder on himself than others!

ToBeMe, really? I haven't heard that...someone got there ahead of me, damn! :(

Oh well, I was just bored this afternoon and this was the only song that could fit.

Maybe I will make a page...maybe I'll make it a FORWARD!!! LOL, no, I could never do that, its just inhumane. ;) I mean, I remember when I got about 12 forwards a day when I was on AOL!




Mar 14, 2000
That was great, especially in the beginning, but near the end too much of it didn't really make sense because it seemed as though you were trying to hard to make words fit.

If you can find people with voices like Gore and Bush and actually make it a song you could prolly sell it for some good money.