Will someone be kind enough to proof read this, I've been up all night and can barely see.

SithSolo1

Diamond Member
Mar 19, 2001
7,740
11
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Thank You

Sonny grew up around the family and is the eldest of Don Corleone?s three sons. He is also the most aggressive and reactionary of the three brothers. Whenever something happens he jumps on it immediately without giving it proper thought. An example of this is when the assassination attempt was made on Don Corleone?s life. Sonny asked Fredo why Paulie, Corleone?s bodyguard/driver, had not been there. Fredo told Sonny that Paulie had requested off earlier that day because of illness. Since Sonny could only recall Paulie being out sick on one or two occasions he immediately requested that Paulie be killed for plotting against the family. Too late we find out that Paulie was not to blame. He does not stop with Paulie?s murder though. Sonny later has Bruno Tattaglia killed to get even. Sonny failed to discuss this with anyone thus further damaging relations between the families. Sonny made things personal instead of acting in the family?s best interest.
Michael is a different creature altogether. For most of his life he has stayed away from the family and its affairs choosing instead to serve the nation by joining the military. This all changes once he is made aware of the attempt on his father?s life. He rushes back home only to visit his father in the hospital only to find that the guards have been forced to leave. Seeing his father helpless and alone triggers something deep within him. "Just lie here, Pop. I'll take care of you now. I'm with you now. I'm with you." After thwarting the second attempt on his father's life, Michael announces the unthinkable. He reveals his plan to kill the corrupt cop McClusky and Sollozzo, the Turk. Now killing these two may seem personal but it servers two main purposes for the greater good of the family. First of all it eliminates two of the family's main enemies. Second and more importantly, Michael believes it will end the attempts on his father's life. Even though it will mean Michael has to leave the country and his girl friend, he agrees to carry out the plan himself.
Sonny and Michael also differ in their relationships with women. Sonny is a happily, as far as I can tell, married man with three children. Of course you wouldn't know it from watching the beginning of the movie. He is seen checking out various women at his sister's wedding. At one point his wife tells him to watch himself. Does he listen? No. While his wife is outside with the kids, he is upstairs having sex with some random girl. Later on in the movie he has sex with her again at her place. Michael on the other hand is single. At the beginning of the movie Michael is seen with his girl friend, Kay. As far as I can tell they have been together for quite sometime and are deeply in love. Sadly, Michael is forced to leave her after the murders. A few months later Michael finds a second love, Appolonia. After a period of courtship the two of them are wed. At this point, Appolonia is now the focus of his life. Unlike Sonny, Michael is a one girl man and he stays true to his wife.
The two brothers also greatly differ in how they deal with enemies of the family. Sonny is extremely aggressive and impulsive. He makes things personal and violent. He doesn't take into account how his actions will affect the business or the family. Like when he had Bruno murdered. It had nothing but negative results. Tension between the families rose and gang violence increased. His violence is not limited to those outside the family either. At one point he finds out that Carlo, his sister's husband has been beating her. In a fit of rage he hunts Carlo down and proceeds to beat him unconsious(SP?) and leaves him for dead in the street. This is the kind of aggression we have come to expect from Sonny. I love how Coppala turns the tables on Sonny at his death. It is by far the most violent and bloodiest scene in the film. Sonny is on his way to kill Carlo but he is ambushed and gunned down in a hail of bullets.
Michael on the other hand is very cautious and manipulative. Before acting upon an enemy he considers how it will affect the family. The only reason he murdered McClusky and Sollozzo is because it left the family better off than it would have been otherwise. My favorite part is how he manipulates Carlo. Instead of killing Carlo out right for going against the family, Michael makes him his right-hand man and puts him in charge of the family's Vegas operation. Only in the end does he reveal to Carlo that he has know the whole time of his treachery and even then he sends Carlo away with a feeling of relief. Then he has him killed. After that, Michael has the heads of the other families along with some high profile people killed leaving the Corleones as the dominant power. I find it ironic that when everything was said and done, Michael killed more people then Sonny ever did.


Thank You for your valuable time,
J.
 

Shockwave

Banned
Sep 16, 2000
9,059
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0
Cliff notes?
I would but Im just as tired. Read half way through and didnt see any glaring errors, although perhaps a few parts could have been phrased better.
 

SithSolo1

Diamond Member
Mar 19, 2001
7,740
11
81
Well, thank you for the effort.

I'm sure many things could be phrased better but I currently lack the energy and competence to do it. :(
 

Shockwave

Banned
Sep 16, 2000
9,059
0
0
Ok, i finished through it. No obvious errors I could see (I'm tired, so no assurances...)
But, this is just phrased horribly...
"proceeds to beat the ever-living you know what out of him and leaves him for dead"

I would change the ever-living you know what to something a bit more politcally correct..Perhaps...senseless...Or something of that nature....
 

BennyD

Banned
Sep 1, 2002
2,068
0
0
Originally posted by: SithSolo1
Thank You

Sonny grew up around the family and is the eldest of Don Corleone?s three sons. He is also the most aggressive and reactionary of the three brothers. Whenever something happens he jumps on it immediately without giving it proper thought. An example of this is when the assassination attempt was made on Don Corleone?s life. Sonny asked Fredo why Paulie, Corleone?s bodyguard/driver, had not been there. Fredo told Sonny that Paulie had requested off earlier that day because of illness. Since Sonny could only recall Paulie being out sick on one or two occasions he immediately requested that Paulie be killed for plotting against the family. Too late we find out that Paulie was not to blame. He does not stop with Paulie?s murder though. Sonny later has Bruno Tattaglia killed to get even. Sonny failed to discuss this with anyone thus further damaging relations between the families. Sonny made things personal instead of acting in the family?s best interest.
Michael is a different creature altogether. For most of his life he has stayed away from the family and its affairs choosing instead to serve the nation by joining the military. This all changes once he is made aware of the attempt on his father?s life. He rushes back home only to visit his father in the hospital only to find that the guards have been forced to leave. Seeing his father helpless and alone triggers something deep within him. "Just lie here, Pop. I'll take care of you now. I'm with you now. I'm with you." After thwarting the second attempt on his father's life, Michael announces the unthinkable. He reveals his plan to kill the corrupt cop McClusky and Sollozzo, the Turk. Now killing these two may seem personal but it servers two main purposes for the greater good of the family. First of all it eliminates two of the family's main enemies. Second and more importantly, Michael believes it will end the attempts on his father's life. Even though it will mean Michael has to leave the country and his girl friend, he agrees to carry out the plan himself.
Sonny and Michael also differ in their relationships with women. Sonny is a happily,as far as I can tell, married man with three children. Of course you wouldn't know it from watching the beginning of the movie. He is seen checking out various women at his sister's wedding. At one point his wife tells him to watch himself. Does he listen? No. While his wife is outside with the kids, he is upstairs having sex with some random girl. Later on in the movie he has sex with her again at her place. Michael on the other hand is single. At the beginning of the movie Michael is seen with his girl friend, Kay. As far as I can tell they have been together for quite sometime and are deeply in love. Sadly, Michael is forced to leave her after the murders. A few months later Michael finds a second love, Appolonia. After a period of courtship the two of them are wed. At this point, Appolonia is now the focus of his life. Unlike Sonny, Michael is a one girl man and he stays true to his wife.
The two brothers also greatly differ in how they deal with enemies of the family. Sonny is extremely aggressive and impulsive. He makes things personal and violent. He doesn't take into account how his actions will affect the business or the family. Like when he had Bruno murdered. It had nothing but negative results. Tension between the families rose and gang violence increased. His violence is not limited to those outside the family either. At one point he finds out that Carlo, his sister's husband, has been beating her. In a fit of rage he hunts Carlo down and proceeds to beat the ever-living you know what out of him and leaves him for dead in the street. This is the kind of aggression we have come to expect from Sonny. I love how Coppala turns the tables on Sonny at his death. It is by far the most violent and bloodiest scene in the film. Sonny is on his way to kill Carlo but he is ambushed and gunned down in a hail of bullets.
Michael on the other hand is very cautious and manipulative. Before acting upon an enemy he considers how it will affect the family. The only reason he murdered McClusky and Sollozzo is because it left the family better off than it would have been otherwise. My favorite part is how he manipulates Carlo. Instead of killing Carlo out right for going against the family, Michael makes him his right-hand man and puts him in charge of the family's Vegas operation. Only in the end does he reveal to Carlo that he has know the whole time of his treachery and even then he sends Carlo away with a feeling of relief. Then he has him killed. After that, Michael has the heads of the other families along with some high profile people killed leaving the Corleones as the dominant power. I find it ironic that when everything was said and done, Michael killed more people then Sonny ever did.


Thank You for your valuable time,
J.

1. need a space after the comma.
2. no need for a comma.
 

SithSolo1

Diamond Member
Mar 19, 2001
7,740
11
81
Thank You for reading it.

Why would I need the 2nd comma?

Its one of those things, that describes the noun thing, its uhh....a.....damn I need some sleep.
 

sciencetoy

Senior member
Oct 10, 2001
827
0
0
He reveals his plan to kill the corrupt cop McClusky and Sollozzo, the Turk. Now killing these two may seem personal but it servers two main purposes for the greater good of the family.

serves
 

rudder

Lifer
Nov 9, 2000
19,441
86
91
Originally posted by: SithSolo1
Thank You

Thank You for your valuable time,
J.


No, thank you!!!!! Now I don't have to stay up writing my paper, I will just borrow yours.