Wife's mom in the delivery room with me

[Duddy]

So my wife wants her mom in the delivery room with us during the birth of our first child.

I already told her that I'm completely against it because I want it to be just me and her.

Me and her made the baby, and me and her will deliver the baby.


I don't want her mom there telling me I'm doing something wrong or arguing with the Nurses or the Doctors (she is known well for that).




So, question, am I in the wrong her?


UPDATE:

OK, we came to an agreement. The MIL can be in there with us all the way until the point that the major labor starts. Then her mom will have to leave.

I wasn't going to give this one up like soo many of you would have, so I talked to the MIL face-to-face and told her how strongly I feel about this.

She told me that she truly understands. My wife understands as well.



From what I have seen from this thread, aside from Pacfanweb, is that men in this day and age are forgetting that they are actually men. Your all being pussified into believing "what she says goes" and you know what? That will destroy a relationship.

Think about, you constantly let her have her way. It frustrates you, but you do it anyway. Unfortuanatly, your instincts will kick in eventually, and you will just blow up and tell her "I'M THE MAN OF THE HOUSE DAMNIT!!!"

BOOM! Relationship destroyed!


So for all the guys in this thread who would have just givin in, I have just this to say:


GROW SOME FUCKING BALLS!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[mooglemania85]

Her choice. She's the one who's pushing out the loaf. However, if it's that necessary, feel free to tell her mother in advance to STFU before entering the room.

 

[sygyzy]

You and her made the baby, you and her deliver the baby. I hope when you want a romantic night alone, you will remember "you and her will take care of the baby, forever." No asking grandma to come over for some babysitting.

 

[olds]

Go with what you wife wants.

Originally posted by: sygyzy
You and her made the baby, you and her deliver the baby. I hope when you want a romantic night alone, you will remember "you and her will take care of the baby, forever." No asking grandma to come over for some babysitting.

Wouldn't mom make it a three some? :shocked:

 

[theprodigalrebel]

Don't argue with your wife. She will hold it against you for the rest of your life. In fact, she will be telling your child the story of how you (the evil father) robbed her (the angelic mother) the satisfaction of sharing her most joyous moment ever (the birth of her perfect baby) with her wonderful mother (the wicked witch of the West) when it is your kid's spouse trying to keep her out of the delivery room.

(I may have to reread and edit this later)

Edit: Edited for gender-neutrality. I thought I read son in your OP.

 

[MrPickins]

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat
Go with what you wife wants.

QFT

She'll already hate you for putting that thing in her womb, no sense in making her even more mad at you.

 

[Geekbabe]

She who has to put her feet in the strirrups and scoot her fanny to the edge of the table gets to decide who will attend her as she gives birth.

 

[George P Burdell]

Originally posted by: mooglemania85
Her choice. She's the one who's pushing out the loaf. However, if it's that necessary, feel free to tell her mother in advance to STFU before entering the room.

<guy from scrubs>Mistakeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!</guy from scrubs>

 

[HomeBrewerDude]

Originally posted by: Duddy
So my wife wants her mom in the delivery room with us during the birth of our first child.

I already told her that I'm completely against it because I want it to be just me and her.

Me and her made the baby, and me and her will deliver the baby.


I don't want her mom there telling me I'm doing something wrong or arguing with the Nurses or the Doctors (she is known well for that).




So, question, am I in the wrong her?

You're stuck. If you force the issue you'll pay hell for it, or worse, she'll resent you for it for the rest of her life. You better make a deal and get on with life...

 

[imported_Imp]

Originally posted by: Duddy
I don't want her mom there telling me I'm doing something wrong or arguing with the Nurses or the Doctors (she is known well for that).

Seems like the main problem is you just don't like your mother in law and she doesn't like you. If you want to bring in who made what into the issue, her mom made her who wouldn't have made anything without her mom. Going to kick the doctors and nurses out to so it's just you and her?

Wife is doing most of the work, let her decide.

 

[pulse8]

If she wants her mom there, let her have her mom there. Your goal for that day should be to make your wife as comfortable as possible.

 

[altonb1]

Originally posted by: Duddy
So my wife wants her mom in the delivery room with us during the birth of our first child.

I already told her that I'm completely against it because I want it to be just me and her.

Me and her made the baby, and me and her will deliver the baby.


I don't want her mom there telling me I'm doing something wrong or arguing with the Nurses or the Doctors (she is known well for that).




So, question, am I in the wrong her?

Not wrong at all. However, you need to convince your wife of this.

Edit: After reading the rest of the replies, I'm in the minority. However, my wife and I have 5 kids--so I'm probably more qualified to speak than they are. If I am not mistaken, my wife and I did not have anyone else in the room with us for our 1st 3 children. For 4 and 5, we let others in the room. But for the first 3 births, family was welcome at the hospital but NOT in the room during the delivery--they could come in shortly after.

I just asked my wife, and she also said you should try to convince your wife to just have you two and the hospital staff in the room.

 

[alkemyst]

2 secs into it look at your view and say to the mom 'damn, you did good with that :thumbsup: can I see where she gets it from...btw you up for it :lips::heart:?'

mom probably won't be around until the kid is about 18.

 

[HeroOfPellinor]

Explain to her why. If she still wants her there, then she gets her.

 

[Jugernot]

IMO, I'd say you and her only... but then again, she's having the baby and her mom would probably be more comforting that you would.

 

[pstylesss]

Tell your wife its okay for her mom to be there, make her feel like the most important thing in the world... but wouldn't be a shame of poor mom in law had an "accident".

 

[BooGiMaN]

i take it your relationship with the mother in law is not so great...

as the saying goes when you married your wife you married her family, she wants her mom there...stop being selfish and petty, let you wife have her way... its apparent that it would mean a lot for her mom to be there at that special moment when the baby is born

 

[Geekbabe]

I was present for the birth of my 1st grandchild. You might not believe this now but sometimes babies can take a really long time to arrive.Having MIL there means that there
will ALWAYS be somebody with your wife,you'll be able to give each other bathroom/food breaks etc. Also, my grandchild's birth was a wonderous occasion and it was a bonding experience for all of us. You might actually find yourself feeling closer to your MIL afterwards.

 

[Duddy]

I'm not being an ass, but I really want to have good memories about the birth. You guys don't understand, her mom is insane. She got her RN when she was 23 (she's 56 now) and every time she goes to the doctor, she bitches at every nurse and doctor telling them that they are doing it wrong.

And what's with this "she's doing all the work, so what she says goes" mentality? We decided to have this baby together. This was a joint venture and she knows it. This isn't, "I'm carrying the baby so I'm God". That's not a good way of looking at it. How about I just tell her to make all the major decisions in our lifes for now on because she does more raising than I do.

It's not like I'm working 60 hours a week now (sarcasm)



I already told her her mom could be there all the way to point that the major contractions start. I will have the doctor remove her mom at that point. She agrees with me now.

 

[BooGiMaN]

Originally posted by: Duddy
I'm not being an ass, but I really want to have good memories about the birth. You guys don't understand, her mom is insane. She got her RN when she was 23 (she's 56 now) and every time she goes to the doctor, she bitches at every nurse and doctor telling them that they are doing it wrong.

And what's with this "she's doing all the work, so what she says goes" mentality? We decided to have this baby together. This was a joint venture and she knows it. This isn't, "I'm carrying the baby so I'm God". That's not a good way of looking at it. How about I just tell her to make all the major decisions in our lifes for now on because she does more raising than I do.

It's not like I'm working 60 hours a week now (sarcasm)



I already told her her mom could be there all the way to point that the major contractions start. I will have the doctor remove her mom at that point. She agrees with me now.

it is generally accepted that the woman will bear the brunt of the excruciating pain and discomfort before, during, and after normally associated with childbirth...so yeah its her decision

unless you will be the one carrying and delivering the next kid in which case you can negotiate who is present at childbirth....

 

[mugs]

Originally posted by: Duddy
So my wife wants her mom in the delivery room with us during the birth of our first child.

End of discussion

I do think it'd be horribly uncomfortable to be in the same room as my mother-in-law when my wife has that area of her body exposed, so if I were in your situation I don't think I'd be in the delivery room.

 

[MyThirdEye]

*Her and I

 

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: Duddy
So my wife wants her mom in the delivery room with us during the birth of our first child.

I already told her that I'm completely against it because I want it to be just me and her.

Me and her made the baby, and me and her will deliver the baby.


I don't want her mom there telling me I'm doing something wrong or arguing with the Nurses or the Doctors (she is known well for that).




So, question, am I in the wrong her?

here's the problem. you're incredibly selfish. Freudian slip perhaps, but try to think of it as (properly) She and I made the baby.

her mother has every right to be in there if the wife wants it. let a pregnant woman have her way, or find yourself sleeping on the couch for the next year, changing all of the early morning diapers, etc...

So, to answer your question: Yes, you are completely wrong on this one.

EDIT: well, if the mom is as insane as you say she is, then the best option is to discuss the issue (calmly) with the wife. She will likely win out, so the option 2 is to slip some mild sedatives or the Mom beforehand.

 

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: altonb1

Originally posted by: Duddy
So my wife wants her mom in the delivery room with us during the birth of our first child.

I already told her that I'm completely against it because I want it to be just me and her.

Me and her made the baby, and me and her will deliver the baby.


I don't want her mom there telling me I'm doing something wrong or arguing with the Nurses or the Doctors (she is known well for that).




So, question, am I in the wrong her?

Not wrong at all. However, you need to convince your wife of this.

Edit: After reading the rest of the replies, I'm in the minority. However, my wife and I have 5 kids--so I'm probably more qualified to speak than they are. If I am not mistaken, my wife and I did not have anyone else in the room with us for our 1st 3 children. For 4 and 5, we let others in the room. But for the first 3 births, family was welcome at the hospital but NOT in the room during the delivery--they could come in shortly after.

I just asked my wife, and she also said you should try to convince your wife to just have you two and the hospital staff in the room.

Holy Shit! are you Mormon?

 

[UglyCasanova]

I have one coming in 3 months and no in laws in there for me!