Wifes Ex boyfriend Harrassing Us.

XCLAN

Platinum Member
Mar 22, 2001
2,401
0
0
yesterday my wifes ex boyfriend {7 years ago}. emailed her this ......

"Elizabeth,
I wanted to drop you a line and see if you had received my picture. I know we haven't talked in a long time, but I hope all of that will change and that we could be friends. I heard from my mom about everything that happened between you and your husband and I hope that you are doing okay. My mom also sent me a box of stuff from high school (yearbook pics, ect. ) and in it were a lot of pictures of you and I from back in the day and seeing those made me feel kind of nostalgic about how things were between you and I in the past. After reflecting back on it all, I realized that had we had stayed together, this past December 11th would have made 10 years for us. I remeber that night, exactly as it happened that you and I finally became a solid couple. My parents were having a Christmas party and your parents were there and you came with Amy, Kayte, and Tiffany to the house to get your mom's atm card so that you guys could go to the movies. I remember when you pulled up, I was outside lighting the candles along the walkway and when you got out of the car, my heart stopped because you looked so beautiful. You had your hair down and it was all curled on the ends, and your hair glistened with all of the Christmas lights. You walked inside the house just saying hello to me as you passed by and my heart sank because you didn't stop to say talk to me. While you were inside, Amy got out of the car to say hello to me and about 10 minutes later you came back outside and you stood there and talked to me. You were just talking to me about chemistry and school stuff, but I hung on your EVERY WORD. I remember you were wearing your blue Gibaud sweatshirt with the hood on it, your light colored Gibaud jeans, and your brown suede shoes. I find if funny that I even remember the shoes that you were wearing, but I guess it's because you always made an impression on me. I remember how you would cock your head from side to side and your hair would bounce. By this time Kayte and Tiffany had gotten out of the car also and they were kind of proding you to hurry up so that you wouldn't miss the movie and then I finally got the courage to ask you out. I remember how scared I was, asking you that because I know how badly it would hurt if you were to say no, but gladly you said YES. I also remember our first kiss. We were sitting in my car in front of the duck pond and I leaned in to kiss you and you pulled away, but then after a couple of minutes, you finally let me kiss you. I remember how soft you lips were and how it made me tingle all over. I also remember our first time and how it was so special to me. We were at that hotel in Baton Rouge and I made sure that down to the very last detail, that everything was special(candles, champagne, and roses). I had brought my cd player and we were listening to U2's The Joshua Tree. I remember you were scared at first, but that all melted away as we were kissing on the bed. The song 'With or Without You' will always be special to me because it was in the background the first time we made love. I want you to know that it was really just that for me (making love), because it was a total expression of my deep love for you. And I also remember Christmas in '94 when i proposed to you and I had spent so much time picking out a ring for you. I don't know if you remember it or not, but I still have it and I'm looking at it right now as I am typing this to you. It was a heart shaped diamond solitaire. And I remember how much it hurt when you told me no. You said that you thought it was too soon and that we had only just graduated high school and that you loved me but that you couldn't make that sort of commitment right now. Eventhought it hurt like hell, I gave you your space thinking that in time that your no would change to a yes, BUT it never did....and not even a year later, we weren't even together anymore. Eventhough I got married 2 years later, you still consumed my heart. Maybe that's why things didn't work out with my wife...she never had my whole heart - there was always a piece of it that belonged to you. I still remember everything about you all the things that I love...your sweet, sexy voice..the way it sounded when you said my name, your laugh and the way it warmed me over each time I saw it. I love not just physical things about you, but you as a person also. Your kindness to all those around you, the way you were naive about things, almost in a child-like sort of way, your spunky, little attitude and your perseverence. You seemed to me one that would never let anything keep you down...that you would always rise above. I truly hope that your husband knows what a lucky man he is to have a woman as wonderful as you are. I would kill to be able to go back and not have lost you, but things being the way they are, I hope that I can at least be in your life as a friend. I'd rather be in your life as a friend than not be in it at all. In my wildest dreams, I would love to be able to be with you for just one day...to be near you, to see you, and to smell you. You will always be my little (duck pussy). I'm here for you no matter what hour if you need someone to talk to or need someone to listen.

Justin aka Justin the great "


I didnt snoop and find this...my wife called it to my attention. I was polite with him and emailed him asking him to discontinue emailing her. He started all this a few months ago cuzz his wife left him.
now the little sh#t is calling us...he got our number months ago and called us at 2am last night. my wife chewed him out through various emails. and told him to f#ck off. He called at 2am to see if it was mer that emailed him. she told him to never contact her again...blah blah.

He started this after my wife really screwed our trust ... i dont trust her at all ... she doesnt mess around but her lies she tells me are malicious...i cant even begin to tell how my life has gaone bad from her lies. He is tryin to take advantage of our problems and squeeze in. after my polite email he sends me 3 emails last night and sent her 2 emails. he is whining sayin i shouldnt be reading his private emails and it isnt my business....


yer thoughts guyz!?
 

Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Oct 16, 1999
32,200
2,452
126
www.theshoppinqueen.com
Hmmm.. if your wife leaves you for this guy you haven't lost much, the paragraph appears to be a foreign concept to him.


Btw,she needs to be the one to tell him to leave her alone,not you.
 

minendo

Elite Member
Aug 31, 2001
35,557
16
81
The larger problem in this is your lack of trust in your wife. The ex-husband can be ignored, but trust is necessary for a meaningful and happy relationship. Get your priorities straight.
 

pulse8

Lifer
May 3, 2000
20,860
1
81
My thought is that it sounds like he's a desperate, lonely man who longs for a time when he was happy.

I don't know what kind of guy he is, but I would try to help him rather than alienating him.

When I broke up with my last girlfriend, I had just moved to Los Angeles where I didn't know anyone. It was a very bad time for me and even though we had broken up, she put up with some sh!t as a result of my just being lonely. It goes away eventually, but it only makes it harder on him and it only makes it last longer if you treat him like a stalker. (Which from what I've read, it doesn't sound like he's done anything really wrong.)

Again, I don't know what happened with your wife and him that they broke up and I don't know what their relationship has been like in the past (before the breakup), but I would suggest that your wife try to be more supportive and help him out a little.
 

Yeeny

Lifer
Feb 2, 2000
10,848
2
0
Originally posted by: minendo
The larger problem in this is your lack of trust in your wife. The ex-husband can be ignored, but trust is necessary for a meaningful and happy relationship. Get your priorities straight.

Exactly. If you can't trust her, thats not his fault, its hers. (or yours, as the case may be).
 

Is it asking too much to break those paragrahs? I would honestly love to read the entire post; and hence have an informed response. Nevertheless, I am sensitive to paragraphs without breaks. I have a short attention span, get so bored, and I can't understand what I'm reading 'cuz everything looks foreign to me.

If it is possible to break it, I would appreciate it. If not, then it's okay. I suppose others who can read it will respond.

Best of luck to you and your wife.
 

alm99

Diamond Member
Apr 16, 2000
4,560
0
0
Sorry if I knew you were going to read the emails I wouldn't have sent it.

j/k..
The guy is a psycho
 

kranky

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
21,019
156
106
The trust issue between you and your wife is a separate issue.

The best way to get rid of this guy is to ignore him. Don't respond to his emails, and if he calls, just hang up. He'll get tired of it and quit.
 

Aquaman

Lifer
Dec 17, 1999
25,054
13
0
Block the mother's e-mail address. Alos document every instance of contact. If it persists you can get him on harassment.

Cheers,
Aquaman
 

yowolabi

Diamond Member
Jun 29, 2001
4,183
2
81
try to understand his desperation a little bit. so many people never get over their first love, and he is obviously one of them. This can't go on indefinitely, but now that he's heard "go away" from her lips, he'll probably make 1 or 2 more attempts and then give up as long as he's given no encouragement.

save a copy of your wife's emails to him. make sure she's perfectly clear that she doesn't want to see him. multiple emails and a phone call are creepy, but not harassment yet. It's kind of hard to harass someone through email since you know who it's from and don't have to open it. But if he ever shows up anywhere near you or your wife, call the police, print a copy of the emails with you and your wife saying I don't want to talk to you, and get a restraining order.

you and your wife are a different thing. it's bad enough when you have problems without someone else deliberately trying to exploit those problems. On the bright side, use this as a test. Having someone bother the two of you will either bring you closer together or drive you apart.

whoever is giving this guy's mom details on what you and your wife are going through needs to be cut out of the loop if they can't keep quiet.
 

DeafeningSilence

Golden Member
Jul 2, 2002
1,874
1
0
What a lamer! Such a pathetic attempt to rekindle an old spark that existed in the young, innocent, naive days of high school. Tell the dude to grow some balls and be a man.

And be glad that your wife is upfront with you about it. I don't know what other issues you guys have had recently, but at least it seems that she's handling this well.

 

CurtCold

Golden Member
Aug 15, 2002
1,547
0
0
Originally posted by: GirlFriday
Originally posted by: minendo
The larger problem in this is your lack of trust in your wife. The ex-husband can be ignored, but trust is necessary for a meaningful and happy relationship. Get your priorities straight.

Exactly. If you can't trust her, thats not his fault, its hers. (or yours, as the case may be).

Ditto, it's all about the trust. Being able to trust one another is the corner of any relationship. This has got to suck for you man. Earning back trust is very hard to do, but I wish you the best of luck.

 

skace

Lifer
Jan 23, 2001
14,488
7
81
The biggest way you can hurt him, is by strengthening the bond with your wife. If you cannot work out the trust issues with your wife, you have a much larger issue on your hands. Ask your wife what her thoughts are about this guy and all the crap he is doing. Don't forget to tack on a better title for yourself than his, like "Jason aka Jason the Bastion of All That is Better Than You" or "Jason the Emperor". Hehe just playin.

Skace aka Skace the Epicenter of All That is Badass and Nexus of Knowledge
 

Stark

Diamond Member
Jun 16, 2000
7,735
0
0
if she showed you this she deserves at least a little trust... what did she lie about?

you could always call his mom and thank her for telling him about your problems and how he's turning into a psycho stalker when he should be focused on his own failing marriage... that's what I would do.
 

acidvoodoo

Platinum Member
Jan 6, 2002
2,972
1
0
Originally posted by: luvly
Is it asking too much to break those paragrahs? I would honestly love to read the entire post; and hence have an informed response. Nevertheless, I am sensitive to paragraphs without breaks. I have a short attention span, get so bored, and I can't understand what I'm reading 'cuz everything looks foreign to me.

If it is possible to break it, I would appreciate it. If not, then it's okay. I suppose others who can read it will respond.

Best of luck to you and your wife.

 

ChurchOfSubgenius

Platinum Member
Jan 25, 2001
2,310
0
0
I agree with a few other posters, the problem is living with you and I know you don't want to destroy your life anymore than necessary but......there will come a time....

You can have his E-mail blocked and use caller ID to filter out his phone calls just to start, he sounds pretty determined though.
 

DeafeningSilence

Golden Member
Jul 2, 2002
1,874
1
0
Originally posted by: pulse8
Again, I don't know what happened with your wife and him that they broke up and I don't know what their relationship has been like in the past (before the breakup), but I would suggest that your wife try to be more supportive and help him out a little.

And I would definitely advise against this. It's rather clear that he's hoping to become "friends", and use that as a gateway to a renewed romantic relationship. Any friendly contact she has with him plays right into his grand plans.

Definitely keep telling him to get lost.
 

BooneRebel

Platinum Member
Mar 22, 2001
2,229
0
0
This bothers me
He started this after my wife really screwed our trust ... i dont trust her at all ... she doesnt mess around but her lies she tells me are malicious...i cant even begin to tell how my life has gaone bad from her lies.
It sounds a lot like a boyfriend-girlfriend spat in high school. If she's telling you malicious lies to get under your skin, then she's probably called your attention to the ex-boyfriend for the same reason. If she's trying to get at you then stirring the pot between you guys is probably a win-win for her.

If he's harassing her and you *both* want it to stop, then you're probably going to need to get a new unlisted phone number and change over your emails. Of course, this won't do any if she's staying in contact with him.

I wouldn't count on him just getting tired & giving up on his own. If he's as obsessed as he sounds then you're probably going to have to pursue legal action against him. But if she's stringing him *and* you along, then you're probably going to have to cut your losses and move on.
 

Skyclad1uhm1

Lifer
Aug 10, 2001
11,383
87
91
Originally posted by: GirlFriday
Originally posted by: minendo
The larger problem in this is your lack of trust in your wife. The ex-husband can be ignored, but trust is necessary for a meaningful and happy relationship. Get your priorities straight.

Exactly. If you can't trust her, thats not his fault, its hers. (or yours, as the case may be).

And where does he say he doesn't trust her, or that she cheated on him or something?
She showed it to him and asked him for help on this matter, so apparently she wants to get rid of the stalker ex-bf as much as he does. If he still keeps on contacting her after both of them told him to piss off, he is indeed a stalker, and then accidently running him over with your car a few times might be a good solution.
 

minendo

Elite Member
Aug 31, 2001
35,557
16
81
Originally posted by: Skyclad1uhm1
And where does he say he doesn't trust her, or that she cheated on him or something?
Are you blind?

He started this after my wife really screwed our trust ... i dont trust her at all ... she doesnt mess around but her lies she tells me are malicious...i cant even begin to tell how my life has gaone bad from her lies. He is tryin to take advantage of our problems and squeeze in. after my polite email he sends me 3 emails last night and sent her 2 emails. he is whining sayin i shouldnt be reading his private emails and it isnt my business....
 

DaiShan

Diamond Member
Jul 5, 2001
9,617
1
0
I know a guy that for 10grand could make your little problem "dissapear" :p Have you tried calling the police? Restraining order?