i've been married for almost 13 years. in my opinion and recollection there have been a lot of good times. however, for the last few years things haven't been so great. i've got issues and have also been diagnosed as bi-polar. my wife has her own issues and hasn't always been so nice. we have had couples therapy and individual therapy. i'm on meds for the bipolar. i think i am getting better, if slowly, but she seems to have checked out. she keeps saying she has nothing left to give. now she has decided we need a seperation. i think if i move out, it's all over. she'll be happy to be rid of me and won't have any incentive to let me back in, and try to pull things back together. if i do move out and move back in, every time something goes wrong, she'll pull out the "it was better when you were gone" card, and eventually decide i need to move out again, permenantly. to complicate matters, we have two grade-school age boys, and i fear that if i move out i will loose the relationship i have with them. finally, i feel it is very unfair that i should be asked/expected to move out a home that is 50% me - my stuff, my work, my money. it seems to me that guys really get shafted here - they have to leave, while the wife gets the house, the stuff, the kids, and the money. why will the kids want to hang with me, in a dump, when they can be in their home, with their stuff? it seems to me if she really wants a seperation, she should be the one to leave. bottom line tho is, i think this will inevitably lead to divorce if i agree to it, and i really wish i could get her to see another path, and keep working on things. i guess there's no point here, except that i'm in about as bad a place as i've ever been, and sadly this is about the only place i have to vent/share/whatever.
cliffs:
- married ~12.5 years
- many good times, but lately more bad than good
- wife wants me to move out, temporarily
- i think if i move out, it's all over
- if i move out, i'm f***ed - loose my home, my kids, my money, etc
- btw, guys are screwed when it comes to seperation/divorce - we have to leave everything behind, including kids, but keep shoveling $ to the ex to support their good life.
UPDATE:
Well, I basically told her I wasn't leaving, and told her I'd do anything to make it work. Things have been going better for a few weeks now. It's not much, but it's a start. Heres hoping we can make it work. Thanks for all the empathy and advice (even you, Geekgirl!).
cliffs:
- married ~12.5 years
- many good times, but lately more bad than good
- wife wants me to move out, temporarily
- i think if i move out, it's all over
- if i move out, i'm f***ed - loose my home, my kids, my money, etc
- btw, guys are screwed when it comes to seperation/divorce - we have to leave everything behind, including kids, but keep shoveling $ to the ex to support their good life.
UPDATE:
Well, I basically told her I wasn't leaving, and told her I'd do anything to make it work. Things have been going better for a few weeks now. It's not much, but it's a start. Heres hoping we can make it work. Thanks for all the empathy and advice (even you, Geekgirl!).
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