• We’re currently investigating an issue related to the forum theme and styling that is impacting page layout and visual formatting. The problem has been identified, and we are actively working on a resolution. There is no impact to user data or functionality, this is strictly a front-end display issue. We’ll post an update once the fix has been deployed. Thanks for your patience while we get this sorted.

Wife argument

episodic

episodic

Lifer
Her workplace just reduced her to half time indefinately due to cutbacks. They will allow her to keep her insurance which means her paychecks will be very minimal.

I told her well, you gotta find another job. . .

She does not want to.

I said well what would happen if I decided I only wanted to work 20 hours a week for no pay. . . where would we be?

She gets all pissed. . .

I think I'm right on this - she needs to get to work. . .

Am I being a bastard?
 
depends. do you really need her money for bills? do you have kids that she could be at home taking care of instead of paying out in daycare?
 
Originally posted by: shimsham
depends. do you really need her money for bills? do you have kids that she could be at home taking care of instead of paying out in daycare?
Click to expand...

Yeah, it depends on the situation. I'd love to get to the point financially where my wife didn't have to work, but right now that's just not possible.
 
Think of it this way. Would you rather work 40 hours a week? Or work 20 and spend the other 20 at home eating bonbons and watching soaps?
 
what rate are you paying for student loans? If 3% like me and you don't have a lot of loans then just pay them out without any extra payments. 3% plus the tax deduction is like free money

do the math since by the time you account for taxes it may mean the same amount of money in the bank for you whether she works FT or PT

go to turbotax.com and input all your info for 2004. Then change hers to reflect part time work instead of FT. Don't look at the refund. Look at the total tax liability and compare it to your income.
 
This is probably the best time for you both to be working as much as possible and trying to save money if it is just you and her.
 
Originally posted by: episodic
Yes, we need the money - we are in debt for school.

Kids and daycare are a non-issue. . .
Click to expand...


then she needs to pull her fair share. youre not being unreasonable at all.
 
If this just happened maybe you both need time for it to sink in before you discuss it any further. She might like that job so much that she doesn't like the prospect of losing it even though her hours have been chopped so much. Maybe in a couple days or even hours she will be more open to the idea of seeking out new employment. Just try to be supportive and you'll get through just fine.
 
Originally posted by: episodic
Yes, we need the money - we are in debt for school.

Kids and daycare are a non-issue. . .
Click to expand...
What, you saddle friends or family with your kids with no compensation? Whose school are you paying for? If hers, sounds like the wondrous "career" she went to school for, didn't pan out too well. What was the point of her schooling? Hope it's worth it, instead of raising your children instead.
 
Sit down with her and go over your budget with her. If you are like almost everyone, you guys are barely living within your income and a fifty percent decrease in her income represents a major hit for you.
 
Originally posted by: Ornery
Originally posted by: episodic
Yes, we need the money - we are in debt for school.

Kids and daycare are a non-issue. . .
Click to expand...
What, you saddle friends or family with your kids with no compensation? Whose school are you paying for? If hers, sounds like the wondrous "career" she went to school for, didn't pan out too well. What was the point of her schooling? Hope it's worth it, instead of raising your children instead.
Click to expand...

Why do you automatically assume too much?

In a nutshell, we don't have to worry about the kids because I have a very flexible job that allows me *gasp a guy* to look after my child when he is not in school.

They are not pawned off on anyone except dear old dad 🙂

Also, the schooling is mine - but we were under agreement about what had to happen to pay it off.

She is just an average wage earner - which is fine - we just need the wages 😛
 
Probably you make enough that she knows she can get away with bumming around half the time. I would be upset if mrsskoorb wanted to do this unless she was going to do something else productive with her time, like going to school/taking care of Skoorbaby. If she simply preferred working 20 hours/week instead of 40 I would have an issue with it, and I'd expect the same from her. given that you need to pay off loans it's especially bad on your wife's part!
 
Originally posted by: episodic
Originally posted by: Ornery
Originally posted by: episodic
Yes, we need the money - we are in debt for school.

Kids and daycare are a non-issue. . .
Click to expand...
What, you saddle friends or family with your kids with no compensation? Whose school are you paying for? If hers, sounds like the wondrous "career" she went to school for, didn't pan out too well. What was the point of her schooling? Hope it's worth it, instead of raising your children instead.
Click to expand...

Why do you automatically assume too much?

In a nutshell, we don't have to worry about the kids because I have a very flexible job that allows me *gasp a guy* to look after my child when he is not in school.

They are not pawned off on anyone except dear old dad 🙂

Also, the schooling is mine - but we were under agreement about what had to happen to pay it off.

She is just an average wage earner - which is fine - we just need the wages 😛
Click to expand...
Sorry, I did assume things, because I wanted to skip a few replies.

If she agreed to be the breadwinner, till your "career" is in full swing, then she'll either have to buckle down and work more than 20 hours, or you'll have to sell your place and move in with her parents, or buy a trailer accross the tracks. Sounds like it's up to her now, but that's the options. Call a real estate agent, and have him come and give you an estimate of what you can sell it for. Let your wife know you're dead serious about trading down... BIG TIME!
 
What is her reasoning behind being willing to accept the half-time work schedule instead of finding a different full-time job? Does she have any justification for it, or does she just feel like not working anymore?
 
I'm old school. I think it's my job to provide for the wife and kids.
There have been times when the wife worked very little out of the house. She still worked harder than I did.
When times got tough because of my unemployment, she picked up her work schedule and I took over some of her work around the house.
When I get back to work in the Spring, she'll slack off and put more time into the home.
I'd love to just have her paddling around the house baking and cooking and planting flowers all the time, but she'd go insane without a life outside raising a family.
Bills never go away, man. Money will come and go. Don't make the college bills your driving force.
Maybe the little woman has some homemaker coursing in her veins and would like some time to experience it.
If you can afford it, why don't you consider letting her find her own way? It's liable to benefit you both.
I know my wife is happiest when she's playing Susie Homemaker. I'm happiest when she's happy (as I'm sure you understand).
It sure is nice coming home to smiling faces, good food and a clean house.
 
If the kids are a nonissue and you really do need the money then the fairest thing would be for her to find another job.
 
this is why im going to marry rich 🙂

ask he what she plans to do with her extra time. if she doesnt have a good answer suggest she get a PT job in addition or start looking for a different FT position
 
Tell hr she needs to help contribute. That you were counting on her contribution for the family. I don't think what you are asking is unreasonable, especially if you had previously agreed on these terms with her. Does she just not want to work? what is her motivation for not wanting to get a job?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

TRENDING THREADS

Back
Top