Wife 1.0 Upgrade

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Led Zeppelin

Diamond Member
Oct 15, 2002
3,555
0
71
Wife 1.0 Upgrade



Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon
noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing
that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition,
Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now
monitors all other system activity. Applications such
as PokerNight 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing
7.5 and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever
selected.



I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while
attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking
about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 but the uninstall doesn't
work on Wife 1.0. Please help!!

Thanks,

A Troubled User





Reply:



Dear Troubled User:

This is a common problem in which men are complaining. Many
people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking
that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment Program.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator
to run EVERYTHING. It is also impossible to delete Wife
1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to
uninstall or purge the program files from the system once
installed.



You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is
designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual
under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support. I recommend that
you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I
suggest installing the background application, "Yes
Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.



The best course of action is to enter the command C:/APOLOGIZE
because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE
command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program but it tends to be very high maintenance.
Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs such as Clean
and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.



However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper
use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag Nag
9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance
of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend
Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!



WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary
With Short Skirt 3.3. This
application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause
irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck,
Tech Support.
 
F

firewall

Platinum Member
Oct 11, 2001
2,099
0
0
Chemical Analysis Of A Women


Element: Woman

Symbol: WO

Discoverer: Adam

Atomic Weight: Accepted as 118 but is known to vary from 100 - 160 lbs.

Occurence: Surplus quantities in all urban areas.

Physical Properties:
1) Surface usually covered in a painted film.
2) Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
3) Melts if given proper treatment.
4) Bitter if used incorrectly.
5) Found in various states.

Chemical Properties:
1) Possesses great affinity for gold, silver, platinum and other precious metals.
2) Able to absorb great quantities of expensive substances.
3) Insoluble in liquids but activity greatly increased by saturation in alcohol.

Uses:
1) Highly ornamental especially in sports cars.
2) Most poweful money-reducing agent known to man.

Tests:
1) Pure specimen turns a rosy tint if discovered in natural state.
2) Turns green if placed beside a better specimen.

Caution:
1) Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2) Illegal to possess
 
X

xSauronx

Lifer
Jul 14, 2000
19,582
4
81
Originally posted by: asadasif
Chemical Analysis Of A Women


Element: Woman

Symbol: WO

Discoverer: Adam

Atomic Weight: Accepted as 118 but is known to vary from 100 - 160 lbs.

Occurence: Surplus quantities in all urban areas.

Physical Properties:
1) Surface usually covered in a painted film.
2) Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
3) Melts if given proper treatment.
4) Bitter if used incorrectly.
5) Found in various states.

Chemical Properties:
1) Possesses great affinity for gold, silver, platinum and other precious metals.
2) Able to absorb great quantities of expensive substances.
3) Insoluble in liquids but activity greatly increased by saturation in alcohol.

Uses:
1) Highly ornamental especially in sports cars.
2) Most poweful money-reducing agent known to man.
Tests:

1) Pure specimen turns a rosy tint if discovered in natural state.
2) Turns green if placed beside a better specimen.

Caution:
1) Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2) Illegal to possess
Click to expand...

better, dont think ive seen that one though.

 
F

firewall

Platinum Member
Oct 11, 2001
2,099
0
0
Originally posted by: xSauronx
Originally posted by: asadasif
Chemical Analysis Of A Women


Element: Woman

Symbol: WO

Discoverer: Adam

Atomic Weight: Accepted as 118 but is known to vary from 100 - 160 lbs.

Occurence: Surplus quantities in all urban areas.

Physical Properties:
1) Surface usually covered in a painted film.
2) Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
3) Melts if given proper treatment.
4) Bitter if used incorrectly.
5) Found in various states.

Chemical Properties:
1) Possesses great affinity for gold, silver, platinum and other precious metals.
2) Able to absorb great quantities of expensive substances.
3) Insoluble in liquids but activity greatly increased by saturation in alcohol.

Uses:
1) Highly ornamental especially in sports cars.
2) Most poweful money-reducing agent known to man.
Tests:

1) Pure specimen turns a rosy tint if discovered in natural state.
2) Turns green if placed beside a better specimen.

Caution:
1) Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2) Illegal to possess
Click to expand...

better, dont think ive seen that one though.
Click to expand...



A friend e'd me this one. Had me ROTFLMAO.
 
L

Led Zeppelin

Diamond Member
Oct 15, 2002
3,555
0
71
I don't care if it was the first joke ever written, as long as it made someone laugh, it was worth taking the time to post it. :)
 
B

bleeb

Lifer
Feb 3, 2000
10,868
0
0
Good one... thats why you guys have to test GIRLFRIEND7.0 and MANY other GIRLFRIEND programs before you decide to upgrade. You want the most stable, reliable, economically effective, and easiest to learn upgrade.
 
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