whymyexsucks.com

[Wheezer]

Text

yeah, yeah...sure some are fake, but still funny

Jesus Hated Her

1. After blow jobs, she would sneak attack snowball me.

2. She made me wear a purity ring in front of her parents.

3. She once made me dress up like a Priest in a strange sexual fantasy. She called me Father Thomas. That was the name of the Priest at her church.

 

[zCypher]

1. I woke up early one day to get her a Coke Icee from the gas station before school started. The machine was broken, so I got her a Dr. Pepper instead. She didn?t speak to me all day.

2. She accidentally cut one of her nipples off while shaving her armpits.

3. She got pissed off at me for wanting to spend time with my brother when he came home from college before Spring Break. I hadn?t seen him for 5 months, and I had been dating her for 1.

I knew someone like that (well, not the nipple part! lmao) , I guess it's more common than I thought. WTF is wrong with people.

This one was pretty good :

Bat Mitzvah?

1. She liked to go on dating websites while we were together, saying she found them, ?hilarious.?

2. It actually was kind of funny when I found her cheating on me with a guy she met on J-Date.

3. Because she wasn?t Jewish.

 

[SonnyDaze]

She Truly Loved Me

1. She forced me to complain to management at Disney World that the Pirates of the Caribbean ride was too loud.

2. When her father made a surprise visit, she introduced me as her repairman. And forced me to spend his entire visit ?fixing? the sink.

3. She made out with guys at bars and called it ?career networking?.

:Q :laugh:

 

[se7en]

pretty funny stuff :beer:

 

[moshquerade]

1. He lied to me about being adopted, he?s lived with his biological parents all 24 years of his life.

2. We broke up because he wanted to move out of the area so he could have some thinking time on his own, that was a year ago & I see him in traffic or out at least once a week.

3. His dick was so tiny I?m surprised it didn?t play a song.

 

[Fritzo]

3. His dick was so tiny I?m surprised it didn?t play a song.

 

[TheVrolok]

Not really many lawls to be had.

 

[GagHalfrunt]

Originally posted by: TheVrolok
Not really any lawls to be had.

Fixed your typo.

 

[oiprocs]

Originally posted by: GagHalfrunt

Originally posted by: TheVrolok
Not really any lawls to be had.

I'm a stickler for the pickler.