Why are skunks so smart?
They make a lot of scents.
What city do you drop your waffle in?
Dad I only made three mistakes today at school.
Good, what were they?
I flunked History, English and Math.
What is a vampire?s favorite holiday?
How many sides does a basketball have?
Two. The inside and the outside.
What would happen if everyone in the country bought a pink car?
We would have a pink carnation.
Why did the teacher give Molly dog biscuits?
She was teacher?s pet.
How do young chicks escape from their eggs?
Through the eggs-its.
What do you call a school where all the students are six feet tall?
Teacher: Can you name something that is harder than a diamond?
Student: Yes, paying for one.
What day at school is a child?s favorite?
What do you get when you cross King Kong with Ronald McDonald?
A really big mac.
What do snakes do afterthey fight?
They hiss and make up.
What?s chunky, white, and cowardly?
Why did Spiderman get a computer?
To find the world wide web.
What do you call a ghost?s mistake?
A boo boo.
Who is the most important member of the ghost patrol?
The ghoul keeper.
Why did the teacher marry the janitor?
He swept her off of her feet.
Why is it hard for a turkey to get fat?
It eats like a bird.
What is Dracula?s favorite landmark?
The vampire state building.
How does a flea get from one place to another?
By itch hiking.
Why do rabbits have shiny noses?
Because their powder puffs are on the wrong end.
Where do ghosts go the day before Halloween?
The boo-ty parlour.
How is a cake like a baseball team?
They both need a good batter.
Mom, I am going to but the biggest jewel in thw world.
You are? What kind?
A baseball diamond.
Who is there?
Talon ghost stories can scare people.
Why do soccer players never get hot?
Because of all of the fans.
How does a sheep drive a car?
Why did the rabbit go on strike?
He wanted a better celery.
What is a lamb?s favorite meat sauce?
Why do you walk carefully when it is raining cats and dogs?
Because you might step in a poodle.
What does a baby computer call its daddy?
What do cats like about computers?
Pushing around a mouse.
Why did the song bird go to the doctor?
To get tweeted.
Teacher: I take real pleasure in giving a 90% on a test.
Pupil: Then why don?t you give a 100% and really enjoy yourself?
Why did the burglar rob the dessert tray?
He heard the brownies were rich.
Which pet is seen on TV?
Why did the teacher send the clock to the principal?s office?
For tocking too much.
Why didn?t the skeleton go bungee jumping?
Because he had no guts.
What did the eye say to the other eye?
That?s a good eye-dea.
All blatantly ripped from this website
notice the age of the little joksters