ROEs have, at least occasionally, created an impediment to our legitimate prosecution of war. They are not, however, the reason we are "loosing."
The larger reason is that the "war on terror" is being run by civilian leadership who aren't fundamentally interested in fighting terror. Accordingly, their effort in Afghanistan (the ACTUAL host of bin Ladan) has been so half-hearted that the country is now a more prolific hotbed for drug production that it has ever been in history, and Taliban activity is once again on the increase. Meanwhile, we have dedicated hundreds of thousands of troops, and hundreds of billions of dollars, fighting a war against the largest secular nation in the Middle East, not because of their support of terrorism (an area in which Iraq was far less involved than any of several other ME nations), but because PNAC said we should.
The greater irony is that we are also losing the war on Iraq (which is, IMO, clearly separate from the "war on terror"), because the same civilian leadership who green-lighted the war have consistently refused to authorize the troop numbers it would take to win, and, indeed, have threatened and even fired military leadership who dared to say they needed it.
So, to circle back to the OP, yes, ROEs have sometimes created problems for us, but no, they are not the reason we're "loosing" the "war on terror."