WHY THERE ARE EDITORS:: PART 1

[ArkAoss]

This is some of the stuff that gets submitted to my paper, we have an online "editorial" column submission; I pull it out of our site log and forward to our editor, these probly never see the light of day.
But now they'll hear the laughter

msg to a small paper:

hello!! again i just came back fro my daily walk and almost got hit!!! it seem when i come to an intersection and push the walk button when it comes my turn to walk at least one car always tries to go thru the light just because they dont have the patience to wait. good think i am a grownup. imagine how many times a young child waits for that light to walk and ignorant no patience people could have hit them!!! its ok because from now on im carrying a small brick and the next person who goes thru the light and almost hits me will have a broken back window!!!


another msg to a small paper:

CONCERNING: head lites on in the day time
i would not drive a car or suv with lites on in the day time because only the bad drivers need to put the lites on so the rother drivers notice thim or the senors want to pertend they have a new car the only thime lites are need is on a rainy day in CT or at night but keep all head lites off in the day time wen i have some one pass me with lites on and it is not exquped with day time runing lites i put my high beams on because it drives me nuts wen they drive behind me it glaris in all my suv's mirrs and shins in my eyes so i return the faver did you know day time runing lites operate on 6 volt and regular manual headlites are 100 wat or more so shut head lites off ther like a crystel hanging from the rear viview mirrow same effect as the kites


another msg to a small paper:
CONCERNING: to those anoying people who go up and down the road 7 times in one hour all day long you are anoying whare could you posable be gowing all the time you gust came back from the store and you are gowing down the neighborhood a gain you are anoying with your dezel trucks and gas cars stop speeding thre are kids playing near buy be carfull not to mencunn prople walking dogs and bike riding


DO NOT QUOTE THIS,OR COPY IT OUT OF THIS THREAD, IT WAS SUBMITED ANONYMOUSLY, SO DONT QUOTE IT, JUST LAUGH AT IT AND LEAVE IT PLEASE

 

[fdiskboy]

Ummm. ok.

 

[ArkAoss]

some are pretty funny, i wonder how these people get access to computers, the people that actually read this paper, and have a computer thats not a big crowd (at least that's what i thought) but it seems the crowd that actually reads the paper is bigger than i thought, and so thus the amount of people who
har itdeots theat reed izz bingger thin eye thoot.
are idiots that read is bigger than I thought. -translation

man it takes too much to force myself to write like that.

 

[kranky]

LOL!

Looking at the way your readers write, I bet you don't get many complaints about typos.

Can't you massage the comments into some form of readibility and print them anyway? At least people would have their comments printed.

 

[ArkAoss]

i dont handle that, the editors do, some have meaningfull thoughts, but most like the brick in the window fellow, or the last one I posted, are quite pointless. And as for the middle one, now I really am worried, if that person represents the mass of the SUV driving public, now I know gas prices will never come down.

 

[ArkAoss]

Most of the people have very good local input, and are decently educated, those 3 responses represent the worst of 25 recieved over the last week, and we also recieve coments thru the mail, and via an answering system for that column, I really meant to show how the net makes it easier for stupid people to survive, see if those people had to write to live, they'd die thus only smart people would meet and reproduce, thus proving that some aspects of evolution are right. Now we know evolution is BULL, but survival of the fitest is quite accurate.

 

[Adul]

Does writer number two know what a period, comma or any other punctuation marks are?

 

[Windogg]

Judging by what was written, I am guessing you work at the Democratic National Party Headquarters right?

 

[ArkAoss]

NO, small paper in CT, but maybe I'll post some of the political stuff i get some day.

 

[Windogg]

Heh heh...J/K in my post. Just wanted to cause some trouble. I've always suspected that for every editorial published, there must be about 500 that sound something like what you've posted.

Windogg

 

[ArkAoss]

Yeah, about that much, in our paper, we print smaller ones, so we post more, but I 'd like to see what a big paper regects.

 

[HoopDogg]

funny shit!!

 

[ArkAoss]

Here's a clip of the poltical stuff we get:
msg to small paper:
Maybe you're wondering what George W. Bush talks about when he's not talking politics. Well, at the 1988 Republican Convention, he said what he talks about. Straight from the monkey's mouth: "Pussy." And he wasn't talking about a kitty cat, either.

 

[ArkAoss]

bump, no new good stuff today