Why the #$% am I so socialy inept?

[Mucman]

Yesterday morning a strange event happened to me. A girl started talking to me :Q

I was waiting at the bus stop reading my book, and this very attractive girls comes up and asks me for the time. Her voice was very shaky and she says she is feeling really down because she just broked up with her boyfriend... Not knowing what to do I closed my book and asked if she wanted to talk about it (woops) . She goes on an tells me everything, and I pretty much gave her the advice that she should clear her ex from her mind and spend some time by herself for a while... I also said something along the lines of "All my relationships are with computers so I never have these problems...", she laughed so I guess that's a good thing

Anyways, the bus comes around and I let her on first and she goes and picks a seat near the back. I normally sit in the front, and I got on, sat in the front, and continued reading like the sorry ass I am!

When we got to the station she came over and asked for a quarter, and I gave her one and that was it... I probably won't see her again.

WTF was I thinking? Of course I am not the guy to take advantage of a rebound, but I could have at least gotten some sort of contact info just to follow up... instead I go back to my books pretending that I am a 1337 h4x0r or a mighty wizard doomed to marry my computers, cats, and my guitar!

Ugh, I need help!

 

[Orsorum]

lol I tend to be the same way... I'm actually depressingly oblivious to when women are flirting/hitting on me... It's actually fairly humorous to me, although I suppose I should feel some remorse about totally shooting girls down when I don't even know I've done it.

I would say... you're probably fairly quiet and introspective, and you tend to be unassuming; you probably also tend to be a contemplative person, rather than a quick, active person (not an insult, just the way you process information) - so you don't realize a course of action until it's too late.

My advice would be to a) not worry about it. The more you beat yourself up, the worse you're going to feel about it. b) take the same bus route again, you'll probably see her again, . c) Always, always try to act naturally... nothing turns people off more than someone who doesn't act like themselves.

That's all... It may have been total hogwash, but it's stuff that I've come to realize.

 

[UCDznutz]

she was probably just looking for a stranger to let all her problems out to. I think i've seen a few threads like this. its pretty easy to tell things to a stranger like that because they don't have any idea of what's going on and aren't going to judge what's going on. If that's the case then get over it.

If i'm wrong and she was really tryin to hollar, then yeah, you screwed up dude.

 

[Frosty3799]

i agree with zakath, keep riding the bus

 

[Adul]

if it is meant to be you will run into her again. Otherwise you where just a nice random act of kindness for her.

 

[gopunk]

you should have put your arm around her and said "daddy will make everything all right..."

 

[wfbberzerker]

Why the #$% am I so socialy inept?

/me looks at your post count

 

[Kelvrick]

Originally posted by: gopunk
you should have put your arm around her and said "daddy will make everything all right..."

bwahahhaa!! Adul, I thought you went to pick up your dry cleaning.

Well, that and you have a bag over your head on an online forum where nobody will see you...

 

[Mucman]

Jebus! Zakath15, I've read a lot of your posts dealing with stuff like this and you are freakin wise beyond you years! You have also nailed my personality to a tee! I am a very slow thinker, I am a man you likes to do things right, so I spend a lot of time when I do something. I am always myself when I am talking to people, I hate talking to people as if I am reading a script... I would feel insulted if someone did that with me.

I take that bus route everyday, she was only taking the bus to drop off her keys to her ex...

I just felt like posting this because I am sure it will entertain a few of you out there, and it might show that if you think you are socialy inept, there is always someone worse off out there

LOL

as I am typing this I am listening to : The White Stripes (I'm Finding it Harder to Be a Gentleman)

wfbberzerker - Look at my posts/day! I've been on these forums since 99 ok! Plus it only takes 5 minutes to make 4 posts... jeez

 

[Kelvrick]

Originally posted by: wfbberzerker

Why the #$% am I so socialy inept?

/me looks at your post count

Hahah. That, and this thread has replies from 2 people with over 20k posts, I ahve more then 4k, and another member has more then 3500.

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: Kelvrick

Originally posted by: wfbberzerker

Why the #$% am I so socialy inept?

/me looks at your post count

Hahah. That, and this thread has replies from 2 people with over 20k posts, I ahve more then 4k, and another member has more then 3500.

w00t, I just realized I have over 3500... .

 

[joohang]

Originally posted by: Zakath15

Originally posted by: Kelvrick

Originally posted by: wfbberzerker

Why the #$% am I so socialy inept?

/me looks at your post count

Hahah. That, and this thread has replies from 2 people with over 20k posts, I ahve more then 4k, and another member has more then 3500.

w00t, I just realized I have over 3500... .

Still got a long way to go, pal.

 

[Alphathree33]

What just happened to you there was not worth your time by any stretch of the phrase 'worth your time'.

I once made the mistake of assuming that girls who talk to me actually like me. Huge mistake.

Once you learn the difference, it will become very evident to you which girls you should be dating, which you should be friends with and which you should leave to their own pathetic little world with an IQ of 2 (the combined IQ of everyone in their little world).

 

[Mucman]

Alphathree33 - Yes, but I could have been a little more supportive... I understand that girls love to talk. I've also been told I am a very good listener. I could have offered coffee or something to let her blurt everything out, make her feel better, and I would feel better about making someone else feel better . Zakath (Eddings rules ) is right though... I don't realize a course of action until it's too late.

 

[Booster]

When we got to the station she came over and asked for a quarter, and I gave her one and that was it... I probably won't see her again.

That's it! She probably just needed a quarter, but maybe wanted to talk, too. I know one girl that told me she was happy to talk about stuff for endless hours if she could get at least very little money. In fact, sometimes women don't care how much money they get, it's important for them just to get some. It's better than nothing, after all.

Of course, it ma sound like I think the worst of her, but why did she ask for a quarter? Why?

 

[Alphathree33]

Originally posted by: Mucman
Alphathree33 - Yes, but I could have been a little more supportive... I understand that girls love to talk. I've also been told I am a very good listener. I could have offered coffee or something to let her blurt everything out, make her feel better, and I would feel better about making someone else feel better . Zakath (Eddings rules ) is right though... I don't realize a course of action until it's too late.

You'll get tired of listening after a while. I'm merely telling you this because you sound like me a year or two ago.

 

[HiveMaster]

Ugh, I need help!

4,000 posts on AT tells me you need to spend less time in front of a PC and more time in front of the mirror practicing your rap. And more time getting rejected by women.

To suceed, you need to fail, and learn. If you do not try, you cannot fail.

 

[John]

Originally posted by: HiveMaster

Ugh, I need help!

4,000 posts on AT tells me you need to spend less time in front of a PC and more time in front of the mirror practicing your rap. And more time getting rejected by women.

To suceed, you need to fail, and learn. If you do not try, you cannot fail.

I guess I should practice my rap too. I wounder if my GF will think I am nuts?

 

[Mucman]

What the heck is with the crazy notion that post count = hours in front of the computer? I could nef 20 posts in a couple minutes... Heck, how many posts have I done today so far? I think I've done 20, but my avg is 3.91/day... Yes, I love computers, but don't assume I am that 1 dimensional because of my post count!

John - Yes, you are nuts

 

[Deleted member 4644]

Booster, that is damn depressing. Are you sure about that? I dont know many girls who will talk-whore themselves for as little as a quarter. lol. Maybe $20, but thats different

 

[Mucman]

Yeah, I think she just needed a quarter to call her ex to let him know she was going to be there soon...

 

[N8Magic]

I also said something along the lines of "All my relationships are with computers so I never have these problems..."

*BLAM*

Talk about shooting yourself in the foot!

To be serious though, you seemed to be on the right track, but you should've got the digits so you could give her a call and arrange a date of some sort. As zakath said, just keep doing your usual thing and ride the bus and i'm sure you'll see her again.

Good luck!

 

[melly]

Some of us just will never know what to do/say/think at the right time. That doesn't make you inept. And Adul is right, if things are meant to be, they'll happen.

 

[Hubris]

Originally posted by: caramel
And Adul is right, if things are meant to be, they'll happen.

That doesn't mean they'll fall into your lap by the hand of Fate. Yes, if things are meant to happen they will, but you still have to DO something to make them happen.

 

[snow patrol]

If it makes you feel any better, I would have done exactly the same lame-arse thing.

Have the guts to actually go and sit next to or even near her? Are you kidding. I probably wouldn't have even got on the bus - useless loser that I am.

You're not alone in your social backwardness mate