We have to create a biography or something about a person and tie in American History to the story. This is post-AP test, so it's a free-roam project, but still worth a good amount of points.
Anyway, here's our story so far.
THIS IS NOT AN ACTUAL PAPER. THIS IS JUST TYPED UP NOTES PUT IN PARAGRAPH FORM. WE HAVE TO MAKE THIS INTO A 15+ PAGE PAPER.
His name is Foresto Gumpo and he was born between 1935-1945, we have yet to decide.
He's Cuban and at the age of 17 - 20 (still yet to decide), decides he wants to illegally immigrate to America. So he sails to Florida by boat, but because of Hurricane Debra of 1959, he gets blown off course and lands in Mexico. From Mexico, he illegally crosses the border to the United States.
Upon arrival at the fresh US soil, he was caught in a fishing net
He loses consciousness, wakes up in a room with no windows dressed like a Vietnamese Prostitute. It turns out, PETA was protesting the use of cosmetics on animals, so the government is doing it on illegal.
He spends the night in jail, but is busted out by Charles Manson followers (they were busting out a lot of people...) and he makes his way to San Francisco where he partakes in regular 1960ish things. Addicted to sex, drugs, AIDS and takes an imaginary trip to the moon.
Anyway, so he's following Manson because he likes the guys who broke him out of prison. So he goes to these communist chicks (Russian). Her name is Anna Bjournakova. He marries Anna soon after. So Foresto goes to some Manson gatherings, the US government is still after him and they've found out he bought a car. So he drives his rainbow pinto off a bridge. He hits his head and washes ashore. Everyone in town thinks he is a returning war veteran. In this new town, he opens up his own movie theatre, "El Grande" However, the town he washed up in was very anti-immigrant, found out he was an illegal, so the Klansmen of the town burned down his theatre.
He made his way back to San Francisco, just in time to follow Manson to Africa, but goes with the Peace Core. He doesn't drink the Kool Aid w/ Cyanide, but rapes all the dead bodies. During his night of necrophilia, he contracts AIDS. He then meets an African tribal woman, and gives her AIDS. She then gives AIDS to the rest of the African population.
Since Manson and his followers are all dead, Foresto heads out to sea like he did in Cuba, on none other than a construction crate, found at your local Home Depot. Except, there are whales in the ocean and Shamu eats him. Shamu then is caught by a whaling boat, brought to Marine World (local animal place in the Bay Area) and Foresto is shot out of Shamu's blowhole. He feels violated, but aroused at the same time.
Because Marine World is in Vallejo, he travels to San Francisco in a Traveling Circus. When he gets back to San Francisco, he finds out his wife has cheated on him with Dirty Sanchez. Foresto turns gay and spreads AIDS among the gay community of San Francisco. He becomes a flower child and protests the Vietnam War.
Mid 1970's, he gets drunk on Mexican tequila and runs over/kills someone in his drunken stupor. He's driving his new pimped out 1971 Pinto, w/ 12" Gold Rims w/ 100 Spokes equipped with hydraulics. Oh, and the Mexican Hat Dance for his horn. Anyway, he can't afford a lawyer, so he becomes one and creates his own firm. Becomes a huge fan of the Oakland Raiders and names his firm after the silver and black. He changes his name to John Mistletoe and becomes a teacher in San Jose.
The last paragraph isn't as funny to the general public because it pretty much mirrors our World History teacher's life, except the running over someone and the Pinto.
So, now I need to jam in as many facts as I can. Any ideas?
I know Manson isn't the Africa / Kool-Aid guy, does anyone know who that is? The guy who had that cult following and had a mass suicide party in Africa?
Anyway, here's our story so far.
THIS IS NOT AN ACTUAL PAPER. THIS IS JUST TYPED UP NOTES PUT IN PARAGRAPH FORM. WE HAVE TO MAKE THIS INTO A 15+ PAGE PAPER.
His name is Foresto Gumpo and he was born between 1935-1945, we have yet to decide.
He's Cuban and at the age of 17 - 20 (still yet to decide), decides he wants to illegally immigrate to America. So he sails to Florida by boat, but because of Hurricane Debra of 1959, he gets blown off course and lands in Mexico. From Mexico, he illegally crosses the border to the United States.
Upon arrival at the fresh US soil, he was caught in a fishing net
He loses consciousness, wakes up in a room with no windows dressed like a Vietnamese Prostitute. It turns out, PETA was protesting the use of cosmetics on animals, so the government is doing it on illegal.He spends the night in jail, but is busted out by Charles Manson followers (they were busting out a lot of people...) and he makes his way to San Francisco where he partakes in regular 1960ish things. Addicted to sex, drugs, AIDS and takes an imaginary trip to the moon.
Anyway, so he's following Manson because he likes the guys who broke him out of prison. So he goes to these communist chicks (Russian). Her name is Anna Bjournakova. He marries Anna soon after. So Foresto goes to some Manson gatherings, the US government is still after him and they've found out he bought a car. So he drives his rainbow pinto off a bridge. He hits his head and washes ashore. Everyone in town thinks he is a returning war veteran. In this new town, he opens up his own movie theatre, "El Grande" However, the town he washed up in was very anti-immigrant, found out he was an illegal, so the Klansmen of the town burned down his theatre.
He made his way back to San Francisco, just in time to follow Manson to Africa, but goes with the Peace Core. He doesn't drink the Kool Aid w/ Cyanide, but rapes all the dead bodies. During his night of necrophilia, he contracts AIDS. He then meets an African tribal woman, and gives her AIDS. She then gives AIDS to the rest of the African population.
Since Manson and his followers are all dead, Foresto heads out to sea like he did in Cuba, on none other than a construction crate, found at your local Home Depot. Except, there are whales in the ocean and Shamu eats him. Shamu then is caught by a whaling boat, brought to Marine World (local animal place in the Bay Area) and Foresto is shot out of Shamu's blowhole. He feels violated, but aroused at the same time.
Because Marine World is in Vallejo, he travels to San Francisco in a Traveling Circus. When he gets back to San Francisco, he finds out his wife has cheated on him with Dirty Sanchez. Foresto turns gay and spreads AIDS among the gay community of San Francisco. He becomes a flower child and protests the Vietnam War.
Mid 1970's, he gets drunk on Mexican tequila and runs over/kills someone in his drunken stupor. He's driving his new pimped out 1971 Pinto, w/ 12" Gold Rims w/ 100 Spokes equipped with hydraulics. Oh, and the Mexican Hat Dance for his horn. Anyway, he can't afford a lawyer, so he becomes one and creates his own firm. Becomes a huge fan of the Oakland Raiders and names his firm after the silver and black. He changes his name to John Mistletoe and becomes a teacher in San Jose.
The last paragraph isn't as funny to the general public because it pretty much mirrors our World History teacher's life, except the running over someone and the Pinto.
So, now I need to jam in as many facts as I can. Any ideas?
I know Manson isn't the Africa / Kool-Aid guy, does anyone know who that is? The guy who had that cult following and had a mass suicide party in Africa?
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