Why God Never Received Tenure

RichardE

Banned
Dec 31, 2005
10,246
2
0
1. He had only one major publication.

2. It was in Hebrew.

3. It had no references.

4. It wasn't published in a refereed journal.

5. Some doubt He wrote it Himself.

6. He may have created the world, but what has He done since?

7. The scientific community can't replicate His results.

8. He never got permission from the ethics board to use human subjects.

9. When one experiment went awry, He tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.

10. He rarely came to class and just told students, "Read the Book."

11. Some say He had His son teach the class.

12. He expelled His first two students.

13. His office hours were irregular and sometimes held on a mountaintop.

14. Although there were only 10 requirements, most students failed.
 

hjo3

Diamond Member
May 22, 2003
7,354
4
0
Next time this kind of thing falls into your inbox, just forward it like usual instead of inflicting it on ATOT. Kthx.
 

Cooler

Diamond Member
Mar 31, 2005
3,835
0
0
Originally posted by: RichardE
1. He had only one major publication.

2. It was in Hebrew.

3. It had no references.

4. It wasn't published in a refereed journal.

5. Some doubt He wrote it Himself.

6. He may have created the world, but what has He done since?

7. The scientific community can't replicate His results.

8. He never got permission from the ethics board to use human subjects.

9. When one experiment went awry, He tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.

10. He rarely came to class and just told students, "Read the Book."

11. Some say He had His son teach the class.

12. He expelled His first two students.

13. His office hours were irregular and sometimes held on a mountaintop.

14. Although there were only 10 requirements, most students failed.

that was great!
 

Wapp

Golden Member
Jun 5, 2003
1,648
0
0
Originally posted by: hjo3
Next time this kind of thing falls into your inbox, just forward it like usual instead of inflicting it on ATOT. Kthx.

 

DaShen

Lifer
Dec 1, 2000
10,710
1
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That was a cute joke. ;)

I liked it.

***************************

Originally posted by: Aquila76
Originally posted by: compnovice
Originally posted by: Wapp
Originally posted by: hjo3
Next time this kind of thing falls into your inbox, just forward it like usual instead of inflicting it on ATOT. Kthx.

Bible belt resident?

Most likely a Pat Robertson follower.

I live in the Bible Belt.... and I resent that remark. :p Most Christians think Pat Robertson is crazy and that he has some nerve to say that he knows why G-d did one thing and not another.

But hjo3, that was a dumb remark. It was a cute joke. Take it as such and don't be so sensitive. I bet you Jesus would have laughed at some of these lines. ;)
 

hjo3

Diamond Member
May 22, 2003
7,354
4
0
Originally posted by: DaShen
That was a cute joke. ;)

I liked it.

***************************

Originally posted by: Aquila76
Originally posted by: compnovice
Originally posted by: Wapp
Originally posted by: hjo3
Next time this kind of thing falls into your inbox, just forward it like usual instead of inflicting it on ATOT. Kthx.

Bible belt resident?

Most likely a Pat Robertson follower.

I live in the Bible Belt.... and I resent that remark. :p Most Christians think Pat Robertson is crazy and that he has some nerve to say that he knows why G-d did one thing and not another.

But hjo3, that was a dumb remark. It was a cute joke. Take it as such and don't be so sensitive. I bet you Jesus would have laughed at some of these lines. ;)
Why do you guys assume I dislike it because of the "blasphemy" theme? I'm not even Christian -- I could care less what you say about god and Jesus. I just think it's incredibly lame. It's like every dumb email forward I've ever seen. How 'bout posting something funny? I don't get how anyone can find this genuinely chuckle-worthy.

But all that aside, why do you guys jump to the conclusion that I'm a Jesus-nut? Do you not see the "my bf" link in my sig? I'm not saying there are no homo Jesus-nuts, but it seems pretty darn unlikely.

Anyway. :p
 

SparkyJJO

Lifer
May 16, 2002
13,357
7
81
1. He had only one major publication.
Yes, well, inside that publication are over 60 books ;)

2. It was in Hebrew.
That was the native language - there have been books in French translated to English, so why not Hebrew to English?

3. It had no references.
Do you need references for your own work?

4. It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
They didn't exist back then.

5. Some doubt He wrote it Himself.
So? I doubted that my friend knew what he was talking about since I thought I knew better but nope, he was right, I was wrong.

6. He may have created the world, but what has He done since?
Whether you realize it or not, He is running everything the way He wants. And, He knows what your reaction will be to all this before you even see it

7. The scientific community can't replicate His results.
Well, people aren't God, so that may have something to do with it ;)

8. He never got permission from the ethics board to use human subjects.
The ethics board didn't exist then, and if He is God, He doesn't need permission.

9. When one experiment went awry, He tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.
The experiment didn't go awry, the people screwed themselves up so he removed them. Like you get a dog and it ends up turning against you and attacking others, you remove it before it does too much damage. Not necessarily your fault.

10. He rarely came to class and just told students, "Read the Book."
At first He did come to class all the time, and the records are in there. Now that all that stuff is written down, He no longer needs to "come to class." In some ways it makes it easier on us since we just have to read it instead of sitting in a lecture :)

11. Some say He had His son teach the class.
If the Son is just as capable as the Father, does it really matter?

12. He expelled His first two students.
Because those first two students broke the rules, if they behaved they wouldn't have been expelled.

13. His office hours were irregular and sometimes held on a mountaintop.
The whole world is His "office" so anywhere is still in His office. Besides, He's very busy.

14. Although there were only 10 requirements, most students failed.
That was the student's fault, not His ;)