Why don't vampires ever wear Kevlar?

Charmonium

Lifer
May 15, 2015
10,393
3,457
136
I'm a sucker for vampire themed stories (hehe). Maybe not Twilight and sparkly vampires, but in general. So I've watched Forever Knight, True Blood, Blood Ties, Vampire Diaries, even Being Human (US and UK versions). And never once does it occur to anyone that maybe it would be a good idea to wear something that could protect you from a stake through the heart. It doesn't even need to be full coverage like a vest. Just a ballistic nylon wife beater T-shirt should be good enough for a wooden stake.
 

ImpulsE69

Lifer
Jan 8, 2010
14,946
1,077
126
Vampires tend to be vain and also, not real. Also though, I seem to recall some movie (was it one of the Blades?) where some wore body armor.
 

Jeff7

Lifer
Jan 4, 2001
41,596
19
81
A stake through the heart is fairly fatal for humans too, and we don't go everywhere wearing Kevlar vests.
 

MongGrel

Lifer
Dec 3, 2013
38,466
3,067
121
I'm a sucker for vampire themed stories (hehe). Maybe not Twilight and sparkly vampires, but in general. So I've watched Forever Knight, True Blood, Blood Ties, Vampire Diaries, even Being Human (US and UK versions). And never once does it occur to anyone that maybe it would be a good idea to wear something that could protect you from a stake through the heart. It doesn't even need to be full coverage like a vest. Just a ballistic nylon wife beater T-shirt should be good enough for a wooden stake.

Near Dark

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093605/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Let the Right One In

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1139797/?ref_=tt_rec_tti


Shadow of the Vampire

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0189998/?ref_=nv_sr_2


():)

If you want vampires wearing body armor go watch Blade.

Blade

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120611/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1
 
Last edited:

Charmonium

Lifer
May 15, 2015
10,393
3,457
136
Vampires tend to be vain and also, not real. Also though, I seem to recall some movie (was it one of the Blades?) where some wore body armor.
I was going to mention Blade but I couldn't remember for sure about the body armor. I seem to recall that as a general rule he had to cut their heads off and figured that was the reason.

Things like this don't bother me for the most part, it's just that it would be nice if it were occasionally considered.

In theory, you could say that with their speed and heightened senses it would be easy for them to avoid getting staked. And technically that should be true. It just never seems to be. I mean how much more work would it really be to decapitate or burn them? Plus you'd have the side benefit of seeing more katanas and flame throwers.
 

MongGrel

Lifer
Dec 3, 2013
38,466
3,067
121
I've never seen that. I'm tempted but I get really annoyed at films that look dated and I don't think I've ever seen something from the 80's that didn't. I probably would have loved it at the time. Take Forever Knight for example. Soooo dated. If it hadn't been one of my favorites I wouldn't have been able to rewatch it.

I still watch it now and then.

It has it's moments, and is better than Lost Boys etc, that were out at the time IMHO.

I'd recommend at least watching it once.

I'm trying to think of the odd Brit Sci-Fi vampire thing from then also.

I think it was Lifeforce off the top of my head.

Yeah, that was it.

Lifeforce

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089489/?ref_=nv_sr_1
 
Last edited:

Charmonium

Lifer
May 15, 2015
10,393
3,457
136
I still watch it now and then.

It has it's moments, and is better than Lost Boys etc, that were out at the time IMHO.

I'd recommend at least watching it once.

I'm trying to think of the odd Brit Sci-Fi vampire thing from then also.

I think it was Lifeforce off the top of my head.

Yeah, that was it.

Lifeforce

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089489/?ref_=nv_sr_1
Hmmm. Looks like they're chi suckers ala Atlantis wraiths or Lost Girl succubus.
 

MongGrel

Lifer
Dec 3, 2013
38,466
3,067
121
Why don't vampire simply buy blood? They're immortal, so even with simple investments, they should all be wealthy. Having to suck blood from victims causes them all kinds of problems, so it would make economic sense for them to simply purchase blood.

http://freakonomics.com/podcast/wha...t-economics-a-new-freakonomics-radio-podcast/


true-350a.jpg


93587.jpg


It's been done.
 
Last edited:

Raduque

Lifer
Aug 22, 2004
13,140
138
106
true-350a.jpg



It's been done.

TruBlood is a synthetic, though. I think he's talking about buying from hospitals, donation centers, etc. Paying an intern or lower-level nurse to sneak out some blood packs or something. Or maybe even hiring some mortals to run a Bloodmobile but instead of taking the blood to the hospital, it goes to a vampire restaurant or whatever.
 

DrPizza

Administrator Elite Member Goat Whisperer
Mar 5, 2001
49,601
167
111
www.slatebrookfarm.com
How about this as a reason: Kevlar wouldn't stop a sharp stake. You can cut it with scissors. It has a lot of tensile strength, but not shear strength.
 

Paratus

Lifer
Jun 4, 2004
17,536
15,605
146
I'm a sucker for vampire themed stories (hehe). Maybe not Twilight and sparkly vampires, but in general. So I've watched Forever Knight, True Blood, Blood Ties, Vampire Diaries, even Being Human (US and UK versions). And never once does it occur to anyone that maybe it would be a good idea to wear something that could protect you from a stake through the heart. It doesn't even need to be full coverage like a vest. Just a ballistic nylon wife beater T-shirt should be good enough for a wooden stake.

Ain't gonna stop a Slayer.

Buffy-Stake-gif-1433184032.gif


:colbert:
 

Leros

Lifer
Jul 11, 2004
21,867
7
81
TruBlood is a synthetic, though. I think he's talking about buying from hospitals, donation centers, etc. Paying an intern or lower-level nurse to sneak out some blood packs or something. Or maybe even hiring some mortals to run a Bloodmobile but instead of taking the blood to the hospital, it goes to a vampire restaurant or whatever.

Or why not just set up legitimate business? Sell your blood to vampires and make money. They could compete with blood drives, maybe even encourage more people to donate blood because they're paying and then donate the extra to hospitals.
 

Charmonium

Lifer
May 15, 2015
10,393
3,457
136
In most stories I've seen, the explanation for fresh over bagged blood is taste. In some versions of the mythology, vampires can only eat blood so they prefer freshness and variety. I guess it's like the difference between fresh baked bread and stale crackers. You can get by on both, but there is a preference.

In many of these scenarios, I'm thinking of Being Human here, they set up live blood parlors where people volunteer to be sucked. Here the explanation often is that it gives the suckee a feeling of euphoria. But there are also version where you have the same thing but the donors are compelled.
 

mrjminer

Platinum Member
Dec 2, 2005
2,739
16
76
Vampires tend to be vain and also, not real. Also though, I seem to recall some movie (was it one of the Blades?) where some wore body armor.

Yea, there are many in Blade that wear armor. Also, in Underworld (though they are not generally competing with stakes)

The moral of the story is: if they are wearing body armor, someone just makes a weapon that goes through it (like a stake shooting gun with more penetration power)
 

PlanetJosh

Golden Member
May 6, 2013
1,814
143
106
I like werewolf movies and am not a big fan of vampire films. Vampires seems so Halloweenish. Oh there are a couple exceptions, I really liked two vampire movies, 30 Days of Night and Let Me In. Oh and also the comedy one Vampires Suck. And oops almost forgot Jennifer's Body, with that kissing scene, and it also is a cool movie as well. So that's four I like.

But on to the topic of Kevlar. But with a little change. Kevlar isn't worn by werewolves. And I'd really like to see them try it. A Kevlar vest would look so cute on a wolf-like creature. Like a huskie or wild wolf or your pet dog wearing a cute little top. A Kevlar vest on a vampire would just look like a padded shirt on a human-like being.
 

Leros

Lifer
Jul 11, 2004
21,867
7
81
In most stories I've seen, the explanation for fresh over bagged blood is taste. In some versions of the mythology, vampires can only eat blood so they prefer freshness and variety. I guess it's like the difference between fresh baked bread and stale crackers. You can get by on both, but there is a preference.

In many of these scenarios, I'm thinking of Being Human here, they set up live blood parlors where people volunteer to be sucked. Here the explanation often is that it gives the suckee a feeling of euphoria. But there are also version where you have the same thing but the donors are compelled.

The idea of blood parlors make sense. It could be supervised by medical stuff to make sure everything is safe and sanitary.
 

Charmonium

Lifer
May 15, 2015
10,393
3,457
136
I like werewolf movies and am not a big fan of vampire films. Vampires seems so Halloweenish. Oh there are a couple exceptions, I really liked two vampire movies, 30 Days of Night and Let Me In. Oh and also the comedy one Vampires Suck. And oops almost forgot Jennifer's Body, with that kissing scene, and it also is a cool movie as well. So that's four I like.

But on to the topic of Kevlar. But with a little change. Kevlar isn't worn by werewolves. And I'd really like to see them try it. A Kevlar vest would look so cute on a wolf-like creature. Like a huskie or wild wolf or your pet dog wearing a cute little top. A Kevlar vest on a vampire would just look like a padded shirt on a human-like being.
Have you watched syfy's Bitten with Laura Vandervoort. It was all wolfies all the time for the first season then they introduce witches. That laid the groundwork for some stories in season 3 but now they're mostly back to the wolves.
 

zerocool84

Lifer
Nov 11, 2004
36,041
472
126
Kevlar on a Werewolf makes more sense then on a Vampire. Silver bullets can kill a Werewolf and Kevlar stops most smaller bullets so there you go. Kevlar doesn't stop things that stab like blades or say a wooden stake so there's no need for that.