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Why does it seem like everyone wants to be parents?

M

MrToilet

Senior member
I got into a discussion today over lunch with some classmates, and I thought I'd throw it out here. There are a good number of us medical students that don't want kids, they feel like they wouldn't put in enough effort, try to balance children, job, etc... I tend to agree - at this stage in my life (mid 20's) I'm definitely not ready, but I'm wondering if I'll ever be ready?.....

Anyway, just curious.
 
No, you aren't wierd for not wanting them. There are plenty that don't, even for career purposes. However, later on you might start to hear that biological clock ticking. I've known many that have changed their tune as they get a little "up there" in years. Never say never.
 
<-- No desire to have kids. Kids need more attention and resources than I'm willing to expend right now, and they lack an on/off switch. Or rather, they can be switched off, as can most humans, but the ON switch is the tough part.

 
25 year old female, no kids for me. People have been telling me that I'll change my mind when I "get older" since I was twelve. Hasn't happened yet. I hate holding babies and I just about went crazy having to supervise a 2 year old earlier in the week. They're interesting once they hit the age of reason, not before. I might consider fostering older kids someday though.
 
I think I'd like to have kids but what worries me more is having a wife. I think the worst scenario for me to be in would be to have an ex-wife I had to see all the time, at least without kids you can go your separate ways.
 
I mean, I like kids and all, and I love playing with my nephews/nieces, but it's almost like a sigh of relief when they leave...hehe.
 
Originally posted by: MrToilet
I mean, I like kids and all, and I love playing with my nephews/nieces, but it's almost like a sigh of relief when they leave...hehe.
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My housemate's nieces were over recently. They're cute but they pulled up my cilantro seedlings when nobody was looking. I gave them seeds to take home so they can pull up their own plants.
 
Originally posted by: AreaCode707
25 year old female, no kids for me. People have been telling me that I'll change my mind when I "get older" since I was twelve. Hasn't happened yet. I hate holding babies and I just about went crazy having to supervise a 2 year old earlier in the week. They're interesting once they hit the age of reason, not before. I might consider fostering older kids someday though.
Click to expand...

:camera:?

😀
 
Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Originally posted by: AreaCode707
25 year old female, no kids for me. People have been telling me that I'll change my mind when I "get older" since I was twelve. Hasn't happened yet. I hate holding babies and I just about went crazy having to supervise a 2 year old earlier in the week. They're interesting once they hit the age of reason, not before. I might consider fostering older kids someday though.
Click to expand...

:camera:?

😀
Click to expand...

Of the wedding ring I wear? Sure, but it's nothing special.

http://www.amazon.com/Yellow-G...ain-Band/dp/B0000V8I4Y

😉
 
Originally posted by: AreaCode707
Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Originally posted by: AreaCode707
25 year old female, no kids for me. People have been telling me that I'll change my mind when I "get older" since I was twelve. Hasn't happened yet. I hate holding babies and I just about went crazy having to supervise a 2 year old earlier in the week. They're interesting once they hit the age of reason, not before. I might consider fostering older kids someday though.
Click to expand...

:camera:?

😀
Click to expand...

Of the wedding ring I wear? Sure, but it's nothing special.

http://www.amazon.com/Yellow-G...ain-Band/dp/B0000V8I4Y

😉
Click to expand...

I wasn't looking for a date. 😛

BTW-I'm married too. 😉
 
Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Originally posted by: AreaCode707
Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Originally posted by: AreaCode707
25 year old female, no kids for me. People have been telling me that I'll change my mind when I "get older" since I was twelve. Hasn't happened yet. I hate holding babies and I just about went crazy having to supervise a 2 year old earlier in the week. They're interesting once they hit the age of reason, not before. I might consider fostering older kids someday though.
Click to expand...

:camera:?

😀
Click to expand...

Of the wedding ring I wear? Sure, but it's nothing special.

http://www.amazon.com/Yellow-G...ain-Band/dp/B0000V8I4Y

😉
Click to expand...

I wasn't looking for a date. 😛

BTW-I'm married too. 😉
Click to expand...

lol loser, she already gave me 30% of her phone number
 
Originally posted by: Farang
Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Originally posted by: AreaCode707
Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Originally posted by: AreaCode707
25 year old female, no kids for me. People have been telling me that I'll change my mind when I "get older" since I was twelve. Hasn't happened yet. I hate holding babies and I just about went crazy having to supervise a 2 year old earlier in the week. They're interesting once they hit the age of reason, not before. I might consider fostering older kids someday though.
Click to expand...

:camera:?

😀
Click to expand...

Of the wedding ring I wear? Sure, but it's nothing special.

http://www.amazon.com/Yellow-G...ain-Band/dp/B0000V8I4Y

😉
Click to expand...

I wasn't looking for a date. 😛

BTW-I'm married too. 😉
Click to expand...

lol loser, she already gave me 30% of her phone number
Click to expand...

That's a big head start on dialing. But what if she says it ain't her when you do get the right number? Will your heart hear truth behind her words? Keep us updated.



Anyway, I think a big part of the wanting kids thing is that in our society it is stressed that adulthood=parenthood and to be a "real" adult one has to put a poptart in the toaster.
 
Im with you. Just turned 33, been married 3 years.. neither me nor my wife have any desire to have kids. most of our friends all have kids, and their lives pale in comparison to ours. We go out when we want, take vacation when we want, never having to worry about getting back for our kid, or babysitting, etc.

Not to mention, they are a drain on your finances for the better part of 18 years.

Thanks, but no thanks. Im good visiting/playing with my sisters kids. When they get to be too much to handle, hand em back over and bounce!
 
54 years old, never wanted or had children and I'm very happy with the situation. As time has gone on, I realize just how good a decision I'd made. It's not that I can't stand kids, it's that I can't deal with them when they're little.

I also see a lot of worry and heartbreak in my friends and family that's related to their children. Not all kids grow up to be fine upstanding members of society.

I married late in life at the age of 39. My wife has two grown boys and between those two they have three children. This experience has further confirmed that I made the right decision. If the little voice is telling you no, it's OK to listen.
 
I think this feeling is more prevalent among the type of people that would frequent the anandtech forums than the general population.
 
Henry Miller said in one of his books that the person who doesn't have kids is missing out on a whole world of emotion. However, I've never felt compelled to have kids, raise kids. I've had deep relationships with women who did not want to have children. So, the answer is that not "everyone wants to be parents."
 
Guess I'm the odd guy out here. I'm 21 and while I obviously don't want kids at the moment, the thought's perfectly natural and I can easily see myself as a father at 29 or later.

Just instinct I guess. I think about it and I just get a small natural feel-good "that's gonna happen" grin.
 
I have pretty much zero desire to be a parent or have children, male, 26. I enjoy being able to pretty do what I want, when I want. If I wanted to, I could quit my job and move across the country easily. With a wife and kids, I couldn't do that. Even with just a wife, it might be iffy.

That may make me sound selfish, or 'its all about me' but I enjoy my freedom.
 
I think people with kids pressure others to have kids so they can bring other people down to their shitty life. I love my life I made for myself. No dumb "accidents," which equates to more time and money for myself. If you have kids and are happy with your choice, great. But don't come bitching to me because you can't do this, or you can't afford that. You made your bed, now lie in it.
 
Originally posted by: Bateluer
I have pretty much zero desire to be a parent or have children, male, 26. I enjoy being able to pretty do what I want, when I want. If I wanted to, I could quit my job and move across the country easily. With a wife and kids, I couldn't do that. Even with just a wife, it might be iffy.

That may make me sound selfish, or 'its all about me' but I enjoy my freedom.
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It is no more selfish than people having kids. If you want to talk about being unselfish, talk to the people that adopt kids.
 
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