I am closing in on 50 years old. I have had dozens of printers in my life. Every, yes every, inkjet has been an utter disappointment. Let me point out the shortfalls:
- Sloppy, smeary print
I'm not sure what you mean by this. For text, inkjets don't produce quite as perfectly rendered characters, but it's perfectly clear until you get to about 8pt font or below. In my line of work, I think I've seen smeared print once, and that's when a user printed on the wrong side of photo paper.
A drawback of inkjets without a doubt. However, provided you don't leave them in direct sunlight, you use them once a month
consistently and you use the manufacturer's cartridges, you're very unlikely to experience problems in my experience.
Compared to what? Lasers are damn noisy when they're printing. If I'm on the phone I'd rather neither were printing.
Also, I've just checked the specs of two reasonably modern printers I have here:
Brother DCP-9020CDW: 53dB (A) printing
Epson WF-3520: 38dB (A) printing
Lasers typically have longer warm-up times. If a user needs to print a few sheets every so often, then I doubt that any purpose would be served in going for a laser in this respect. If however they're printing many-page print jobs on a regular basis, then a laser is likely to deliver the goods in a more timely fashion.
- expensive proprietary ink cartrisges
Toner cartridges are also expensive. I've done the math, and purely based on the figures, a decent inkjet will be cheaper to run than a laser in many scenarios.
However, if a user is going through like a ream of paper every month, I believe that a decent laser is a lot more likely to last better, despite the fact that you'll also have to pay for replacement drums. Inkjet specs often have some very sketchy wording with regard to monthly yields.
- constant forced firmware updates to fight "generic" ink
I've never seen a forced firmware upgrade. Admittedly I make a point of uninstalling auto-update tools for printers because IMO if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Ooookay? Maybe you should present a scenario where this is a problem and I'll present you with more common scenarios for which it isn't a problem?
- require expensive, thick paper to combat smearing
I have no idea what you're doing wrong here, but I assure you, it's you. I've been using cheap paper in printers all my life, no problems with smearing.
- edit - I've thought of one other scenario of smearing with inkjets - auto double-sided printing with heavy photo/graphics but without enough drying time set between sides. Me personally, I just avoid double-sided printing in such scenarios, but the delay between sides can be altered on the Epson print drivers so that more drying time is allowed before attempting to print on the other side of the paper. If not enough drying time is allowed, then the paper is still wet and wavy, then I've seen streaks of ink (though not smearing per se) resulting.