Why do you leave them hanging out there?

Charles Kozierok

Elite Member
May 14, 2012
6,762
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So I happened across this funny video of Conan O'Brien supposedly being "busted" by some actress with big boobs and a small shirt. This is a running theme in some circles, lots of jokes made by women who get "offended" by men who stare at their "assets", or "look them in the chest" instead of in the eye, and so forth.

But I have to say that I think Conan really got it right on the video. If you don't want people staring at your breasts, why do you wear clothes like that? If men walked around wearing shirts cut half-way down to their navels, people would think it ridiculous, even though they really don't have anything terribly interesting there anyway. But women do, and in our society breasts are sexualized, so isn't it kind of silly to wear extremely revealing clothing and then act surprised when people look at what you've revealed?

It all strikes me as a disingenuous double standard, a way for some women to actually want people to look at their breasts, while pretending they don't. But hey, what do I know -- I'm just a man.
 

Soundmanred

Lifer
Oct 26, 2006
10,784
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They don't want everyone to look, only the ones they want to look. Problem is you can't be choosy when you're a whore.
It's like when people on AT tell you they don't want you posting in their threads. So weird.
 

RPD

Diamond Member
Jul 22, 2009
4,989
495
126
They don't want everyone to look, only the ones they want to look. Problem is you can't be choosy when you're a whore.
It's like when people on AT tell you they don't want you posting in their threads. So weird.

Pretty much. Some guy they are attracted to notices or glaces, it's OK. Some ugly guy glacing? He's going to get yelled/rebuffed.
 

Jaskalas

Lifer
Jun 23, 2004
33,414
7,480
136
Maybe they shouldn't go under a knife to specifically create this effect.
 

cwjerome

Diamond Member
Sep 30, 2004
4,346
26
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My attention to boobs is directly correlated to the reveal factor. Not only is is natural, it's appropriate. If a woman is dressed more modestly, I will be more polite because I respect her "intentions" or wishes or whatever you might call that... but if they are on display then I will act as though they are on display and not care too much about what she thinks. Live with the decisions you make.
 

Lithium381

Lifer
May 12, 2001
12,458
2
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My attention to boobs is directly correlated to the reveal factor. Not only is is natural, it's appropriate. If a woman is dressed more modestly, I will be more polite because I respect her "intentions" or wishes or whatever you might call that... but if they are on display then I will act as though they are on display and not care too much about what she thinks. Live with the decisions you make.

Yep! too bad its sexual harrassment to do that at work . . . though, try complaining to HR about it and you're a sexist . . :rolleyes:
 

stormkroe

Golden Member
May 28, 2011
1,550
97
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I can't remember the exact quote, but Dave Chappelle said it perfectly. Something along the lines of, "if you wear a police uniform, don't be surprised if people think you're a cop"
 

randomrogue

Diamond Member
Jan 15, 2011
5,462
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The only place I have a problem with it is in a work environment. At work women shouldn't be breaking out the big guns. In a social setting I'll tell the woman they look great if I find my self looking too much. You should get to a point where you can hold a conversation with a woman without staring at her breasts though.
 

SMOGZINN

Lifer
Jun 17, 2005
14,202
4,401
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There is a difference between looking and staring. If you talk to her boobs you are dismissing her as a person and reducing her to a single attribute. That is not acceptable no matter what she is wearing.

If someone is wearing a revealing outfit I assume they want to be admired, and I will look. But to treat her as if she has nothing else to offer is insulting.
 

Charles Kozierok

Elite Member
May 14, 2012
6,762
1
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If you talk to her boobs you are dismissing her as a person and reducing her to a single attribute.

I agree, and it's rude.

But isn't a woman who deliberately wears clothing that encourages that behavior essentially dismissing herself as someone to be taken seriously?

If women want to be treated the same as men, especially in professional situations, they need to behave the same way as well. The differences in clothing standards between the sexes are bizarre.
 

SMOGZINN

Lifer
Jun 17, 2005
14,202
4,401
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I agree, and it's rude.

But isn't a woman who deliberately wears clothing that encourages that behavior essentially dismissing herself as someone to be taken seriously?

If women want to be treated the same as men, especially in professional situations, they need to behave the same way as well. The differences in clothing standards between the sexes are bizarre.

If a man wears a brightly colored tie is he essentially dismissing himself as someone to be taken seriously? If he drives up an expensive car should we ignore him and just drool over his car and think that he has nothing else to offer?

The fact is men use this as an excuse to act badly. Showing off one aspect of their person does not negate the other aspects. It might be the first thing you notice, but it should not be the only thing you notice.
 

K1052

Elite Member
Aug 21, 2003
46,007
32,958
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If a man wears a brightly colored tie is he essentially dismissing himself as someone to be taken seriously? If he drives up an expensive car should we ignore him and just drool over his car and think that he has nothing else to offer?

The fact is men use this as an excuse to act badly. Showing off one aspect of their person does not negate the other aspects. It might be the first thing you notice, but it should not be the only thing you notice.

How about if I wear a cod piece to a presentation? Should I yell at people for looking?
 

SMOGZINN

Lifer
Jun 17, 2005
14,202
4,401
136
How about if I wear a cod piece to a presentation? Should I yell at people for looking?

If they spent the entire time just staring at your cod piece and losing track of what you are saying, then yes. But for just looking at it, no.
 
Feb 6, 2007
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How about if I wear a cod piece to a presentation? Should I yell at people for looking?

That example doesn't make sense, given that female cleavage is generally socially acceptable in a workplace setting while wearing nothing but a codpiece absolutely isn't. There really doesn't seem to be a good corollary for men in this instance, given that there's no part of a man's body that is seen as sexual and also acceptable to flaunt or showcase in public. I suppose if you had really nice abs, for example, and you were constantly running around topless, you could tell the occasional woman "Hey, my eyes are up here," but that's still not going to fly in a workplace environment.
 

Blackjack200

Lifer
May 28, 2007
15,995
1,685
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I won't go too much into the work environment other than to say I think it's really annoying and obnoxious when women or men wear inappropriate clothing.

In a social setting, dressing provacatively is part of the game. As some others in the thread have pointed out, another part of the game is looking withough gawking. What if a woman had really delicate and pretty hands. Are you just going to stare at her hands? "Well you should have worn gloves!"

I'm not sure if that's a great analogy or not, but the point is, when I talk to a woman, yes I've noticed her chest, her legs, her face, her shape, and all those things have gone into a physical evaluation I've made of her, and determination of attractiveness (as I assume she's done with me). But I'm going to be very careful to make appropriate eye contact and be interesting, and talk about something other than how attractive her rear end is. Because that's also part of the game.
 

K1052

Elite Member
Aug 21, 2003
46,007
32,958
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That example doesn't make sense, given that female cleavage is generally socially acceptable in a workplace setting while wearing nothing but a codpiece absolutely isn't. There really doesn't seem to be a good corollary for men in this instance, given that there's no part of a man's body that is seen as sexual and also acceptable to flaunt or showcase in public. I suppose if you had really nice abs, for example, and you were constantly running around topless, you could tell the occasional woman "Hey, my eyes are up here," but that's still not going to fly in a workplace environment.

Obviously that is an extreme example. Is seeing women's cleavage in a work setting acceptable and commonplace? Sure. Do some women use this to their advantage in said workplace by...shall we say...enhancing their assets to distract men? Of course.

I guess I have an issue with people who get offended at the mere implication that it happens. I see it all the time and I'm not the least bit interested in women so they could have them flopping out for all the world to leer at and I won't care.
 

werepossum

Elite Member
Jul 10, 2006
29,873
463
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There is a difference between looking and staring. If you talk to her boobs you are dismissing her as a person and reducing her to a single attribute. That is not acceptable no matter what she is wearing.

If someone is wearing a revealing outfit I assume they want to be admired, and I will look. But to treat her as if she has nothing else to offer is insulting.
Well - hopefully not a single attribute. Although I do remember a character called Little Richard Simmons yelling "Push 'em together and make one good one!"

Years back a local radio talk show host told a story about a group of local radio personalities leaving a restaurant and ogling a very pretty young woman barely dressed - large breasts more exposed than covered, bare midriff, skin-tight short shorts midway up the buttocks - coming in. Following behind her was her mother, who muttered "For G-d's sake, she's only thirteen!" To which one of the men replied "Then put some damned clothes on her!"

If a woman chooses to display her charms, the natural assumption is that she wishes to be admired for them. If they are too prominently displayed, men (albeit with a certain measure of gratitude) will also assume she has little else she considers admirable.
 

dank69

Lifer
Oct 6, 2009
35,270
28,429
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That's not an actress. That's a Pussycat Doll. Nicole Scherzinger. Smoking hot, but the lighting and makeup combination in that clip does not do her justice.
 

fskimospy

Elite Member
Mar 10, 2006
83,883
47,707
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I agree, we shouldn't be held accountable for our actions when really it's the woman's fault we're staring at their boobs.

If you don't want to be yelled at for staring at a woman's chest, don't do it. There is nothing about any woman's dress ever that renders you unable to resist staring at it. Whatever your idea might be as to that particular woman's motivation for wearing those clothes might be, your behavior is entirely on you.

This is a corollary to blaming rape victims for dressing to sexy. (note: I am not equating the two, simply saying that the reasoning is similar)
 

randomrogue

Diamond Member
Jan 15, 2011
5,462
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I saw the Pussycat Dolls live in a Vegas lounge with only about 40 people. So I was literally sitting 5 feet from them. I don't remember the music at all. I doubt anyone does. All you do is stare at them. Surely they must realize this. The show was more like Burlesque than anything. They have their tits hanging out, they're on swings and poles, and it's just straight up sex appeal.
 

Pray To Jesus

Diamond Member
Mar 14, 2011
3,642
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It's not illegal for a reason. I will look as much as I want.

I'm more attracted to a beautiful face though and will stare at the women's face.

Here's a NSFW test. Tell me where your eyes are the majority of the time.
 
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