Why do you guys hate self-help books/programs?

[badmouse]

I've read the odd self-help book for fun & relaxation. I don't take them seriously myself, but I don't hate them.

Why are you guys so intensely against this?

 

[JDrake]

I dont think I've ever had an opinion on one...

 

[gigapet]

they dont want to see anyone doing anything with their life because watching someone else succeed reinforces how lame there existence is.

 

[yobarman]

i never said i hate them. some of them actually changed my life. I'm not talking about dr. phil and oprah self help books... more along the lines of brian tracy, jay abraham, robbins.. etc. you know, business related stuff. Theres too many i have listened to and many more to go. I take the best peices of knowledge that i can, and i figure if i hear one good thing then its worth the listen.

 

[Heisenberg]

I don't "hate" them persay, I just usually think they're unnecessary. IMHO, 99% of the deep advice they give you is just common sense.

 

[yobarman]

edit: of course im talking about audio mp3s and such. i rarely have time to read, but i swear audio tapes have changed my life

 

[DaveSimmons]

I don't care enough to hate them, I can only manage a mild contempt for their mixture of common sense and mostly worthless systems or rules.

"you can either work for money, or make your money work for youuu!!!!" :roll:

 

[Lola]

I do not mind them and actually learned some small things from several books. they are mostly common sense, but sometimes you just need that little bit of "reassurance" that one can get from a self help book

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: Heisenberg
I don't "hate" them persay, I just usually think they're unnecessary. IMHO, 99% of the deep advice they give you is just common sense.

It's like watching Dr. Phil. There is nothing this guy says on tv that is so earth shatteringly brilliant, he just calls it as he sees it. Of course, he's pretty much completely useless, but chicks dig his show for some reason.

 

[DaShen]

It is all about Respect and Dominance with Guys (Pride).

With a "Self-Help" Book, guys feel immasculated because the idea is that they want to appear to everyone, including themselves, as all together and in control. To have a "Self-Help" book takes away the stoic nature of the male and puts a kink in the dominant nature of the guy. Since girl tend to self reflect, something that has evolved over time to match their ability to attract (they naturally will preen and try to make themselves better), it doesn't affect them to use a "self-help" book. With a guy who internalizes problems, it is harder to do. Guys, by nature, something that has evolved over generations, are more likely to ignore issues because they must appear strong and in control to play a more dominant role in society.

I think it is stupid on the guys part though, because, it will make them more respected and dominant in the long run. Just not the short run.

**EDIT**
If a girl wants to suggest a self-help book to her SO, the best way to do it is to offer it subtlely as a gift to better each other and to cooperatively go through it. Not to shove it in the guys face, because he will "lose face" and reject the offer.

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33

Originally posted by: Heisenberg
I don't "hate" them persay, I just usually think they're unnecessary. IMHO, 99% of the deep advice they give you is just common sense.

It's like watching Dr. Phil. There is nothing this guy says on tv that is so earth shatteringly brilliant, he just calls it as he sees it. Of course, he's pretty much completely useless, but chicks dig his show for some reason.

Yeah I don't like the guy either because he always chooses the emotional way to look at things. He plays with people emotions instead of looking at the real issues. He isn't even really a certified psychologist. It is ridiculous.

 

[Looney]

Originally posted by: badmouse
I've read the odd self-help book for fun & relaxation. I don't take them seriously myself, but I don't hate them.

Why are you guys so intensely against this?

Because some people like to degrade others to make themselves feel good. ie because they didn't need to read self-help books to feel better, they must be better than you.

 

[Jzero]

I frequently read "lifehacking" type websites. Sure, on a list of 10 tips for doing something better, maybe one is new or not common sense to me, but that one thing can be worth the 30 seconds it takes to read it.

 

[Ryan]

Because the vast majority of everyone here is convinced their perfect.

 

[Descartes]

To me it represents a weakness in one's foundation, physical or emotional. To me, understanding and change should come from within or in response to your experiences, not from others; if you require supplementation from someone else then you are admitting weakness, imo. What's to say of someone that can read a simple book or have a simple conversation and have their perceptions changed to any worthwhile degree?

 

[Looney]

Originally posted by: Descartes
To me it represents a weakness in one's foundation, physical or emotional. To me, understanding and change should come from within or in response to your experiences, not from others; if you require supplementation from someone else then you are admitting weakness, imo. What's to say of someone that can read a simple book or have a simple conversation and have their perceptions changed to any worthwhile degree?

So you think people shouldn't go to therapists, priests, talk to friends/family for advice? Athletes shoudln't refer to coaches and trainers (because really, their advice is often 'common sense'), etc?

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: Descartes
To me it represents a weakness in one's foundation, physical or emotional. To me, understanding and change should come from within or in response to your experiences, not from others; if you require supplementation from someone else then you are admitting weakness, imo. What's to say of someone that can read a simple book or have a simple conversation and have their perceptions changed to any worthwhile degree?

A wise/experienced man will take someone else advice, and think it over before coming to the conclusion that it is feckless or useless.

A person with a good foundation has such a strong foundation that they can admit weakness and overcome it, and not allow it to eventually overcome him/her.

**EDIT**
In other words:
Why commit a crime, to experience the pain and suffering so that you can gain "strength" in experience, when you can take someone's advice or writing that says the same thing?

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: DaShen

Originally posted by: Astaroth33

Originally posted by: Heisenberg
I don't "hate" them persay, I just usually think they're unnecessary. IMHO, 99% of the deep advice they give you is just common sense.

It's like watching Dr. Phil. There is nothing this guy says on tv that is so earth shatteringly brilliant, he just calls it as he sees it. Of course, he's pretty much completely useless, but chicks dig his show for some reason.

Yeah I don't like the guy either because he always chooses the emotional way to look at things. He plays with people emotions instead of looking at the real issues. He isn't even really a certified psychologist. It is ridiculous.

Yes. He is nothing but an entertainer who panders to his (largely female) audience. At this, he is quite successful.

As someone who solves real problems, he is useless.