why do people bother getting married.

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: KK

Originally posted by: Astaroth33

Originally posted by: Keego
It's that whole no sex until marriage thing

That's right. For marriage is a covenant unto the Lord God and our Savior Jesus Christ; engaging in sinful physical activity without the blessing of our Lord is abomination of the highest order, and punishable by eternal damnation in the fires of Hell. All God-fearing Christians have a duty to live lives of worship and duty, and to banish the Devil and his temptations of pleasures of the flesh. Only the pure love of the baby Jesus and our faith will overcome this evil.

Are you Jesus?

KK

I am naught but a messenger, my child..

 

[WalMart1564]

Was that directed at BingBongWongFooey or me?

for fooey

 

[ThisIsMatt]

Because once upon a time it meant something. It meant that you were there for your spouse. You could be counted on, you were committed. You decided that this person was the one person you could always trust, always talk to, always seek help from, and they'd be there. If you decided to have kids they would always have a mother and a father, because kids need both (and not one for weekends or one in another city). You shared the burden of raising children, since two heads are better than one in tough situations.

Now, people are more selfish. They're overly concerned with themselves and won't commit to anything meaningful. They don't trust each other, don't communicate, and look elsewhere for support. Kids are just an unfortunate byproduct of sex and are shrugged off onto one parent or another. Poor decisions are made by one parent without the other, meanwhile both parents are pointing the finger at the other, or even their pseudo babysitter, society, to avoid blaming themselves for not owning up to their responsibility.

 

[Barnaby W. Füi]

Originally posted by: ThisIsMatt
Because once upon a time it meant something. It meant that you were there for your spouse. You could be counted on, you were committed. You decided that this person was the one person you could always trust, always talk to, always seek help from, and they'd be there. If you decided to have kids they would always have a mother and a father, because kids need both (and not one for weekends or one in another city). You shared the burden of raising children, since two heads are better than one in tough situations.

Now, people are more selfish. They're overly concerned with themselves and won't commit to anything meaningful. They don't trust each other, don't communicate, and look elsewhere for support. Kids are just an unfortunate byproduct of sex and are shrugged off onto one parent or another. Poor decisions are made by one parent without the other, meanwhile both parents are pointing the finger at the other, or even their pseudo babysitter, society, to avoid blaming themselves for not owning up to their responsibility.

i guess you're looking at it differently than i am. i totally support everything marriage is about, everything you mentioned. what i am NOT favorable to is registering my relationship with the government, or participating in needless tradition (note - i'm not specifying what i think is needless, it varies between people)

 

[ThisIsMatt]

Originally posted by: BingBongWongFooey

Originally posted by: Bop
To celebrate a love that they believe will last eternal?

paperwork is a celebration? if you're worried about celebration, then get married, and have a huge wedding - but, why bring the law into it? why does uncle sam need to know or care?

It can help reinforce your commitment and remind you of what you agreed upon. Now, however, people are so foolish that it has little effect on most. Hopefully it does discourage some, though, and encourage others to stay together for the sake of unselfish ends.

 

[gopunk]

Originally posted by: ThisIsMatt
Because once upon a time it meant something. It meant that you were there for your spouse. You could be counted on, you were committed. You decided that this person was the one person you could always trust, always talk to, always seek help from, and they'd be there. If you decided to have kids they would always have a mother and a father, because kids need both (and not one for weekends or one in another city). You shared the burden of raising children, since two heads are better than one in tough situations.

Now, people are more selfish. They're overly concerned with themselves and won't commit to anything meaningful. They don't trust each other, don't communicate, and look elsewhere for support. Kids are just an unfortunate byproduct of sex and are shrugged off onto one parent or another. Poor decisions are made by one parent without the other, meanwhile both parents are pointing the finger at the other, or even their pseudo babysitter, society, to avoid blaming themselves for not owning up to their responsibility.

i think you're missing the point of wg's post... you can give your kids a mother and a father and still not be married. like, couldn't you just agree to be together for the rest of your lives and skip the formalities?

 

[ThisIsMatt]

Originally posted by: gopunk

Originally posted by: ThisIsMatt
Because once upon a time it meant something. It meant that you were there for your spouse. You could be counted on, you were committed. You decided that this person was the one person you could always trust, always talk to, always seek help from, and they'd be there. If you decided to have kids they would always have a mother and a father, because kids need both (and not one for weekends or one in another city). You shared the burden of raising children, since two heads are better than one in tough situations.

Now, people are more selfish. They're overly concerned with themselves and won't commit to anything meaningful. They don't trust each other, don't communicate, and look elsewhere for support. Kids are just an unfortunate byproduct of sex and are shrugged off onto one parent or another. Poor decisions are made by one parent without the other, meanwhile both parents are pointing the finger at the other, or even their pseudo babysitter, society, to avoid blaming themselves for not owning up to their responsibility.

i think you're missing the point of wg's post... you can give your kids a mother and a father and still not be married. like, couldn't you just agree to be together for the rest of your lives and skip the formalities?

See last post.

 

[gopunk]

It can help reinforce your commitment and remind you of what you agreed upon.

i agree... but don't you think this could be achieved without marriage, given enough self-control? seems to me that marriage sort of serves to induce a placebo effect of sorts...

 

[dc]

magical word time, commitment

 

[ThisIsMatt]

Originally posted by: gopunk

It can help reinforce your commitment and remind you of what you agreed upon.

i agree... but don't you think this could be achieved without marriage, given enough self-control? seems to me that marriage sort of serves to induce a placebo effect of sorts...

Sure, but it's there to help. I didn't know that the law said that if you planned to stay together you had to get married. Marriage also can provide support in that it's (usually) a public display of your commitment - where one hopefully will not enter if they're not totally serious and one that will remind them if they start to drift. Cheap wedding chapels, etc, don't help much in this regard.

Originally posted by: dc
magical word time, commitment

I assume you're making some sort of stab at my word usage, but I see no problem with it.

 

[dc]

Originally posted by: ThisIsMatt

Originally posted by: gopunk

It can help reinforce your commitment and remind you of what you agreed upon.

i agree... but don't you think this could be achieved without marriage, given enough self-control? seems to me that marriage sort of serves to induce a placebo effect of sorts...

Sure, but it's there to help. I didn't know that the law said that if you planned to stay together you had to get married. Marriage also can provide support in that it's (usually) a public display of your commitment - where one hopefully will not enter if they're not totally serious and one that will remind them if they start to drift. Cheap wedding chapels, etc, don't help much in this regard.

Originally posted by: dc
magical word time, commitment

I assume you're making some sort of stab at my word usage, but I see no problem with it.

heh, i only read the first few posts when i posted, didn't read down far enough to see yours. now that i have, i agree with what you've said 100%.

 

[Phuz]

And after seeing my parents divorce after 25 years of marriage, I'm going to have to ask the same question.

ThisIsMatt, you're right, too.

 

[DanTMWTMP]

Originally posted by: BingBongWongFooey
tradition for the sake of tradition, and to relieve the pressure and/or brainwashing to get married that is put on us by family and society.

personally i agree with you, and don't plan on ever getting married. i don't think the government needs to get any more involved with my life, and i think that ideally i would be happier with a woman who is not insecure about not being married.

ditttto

 

[sciencetoy]

Health insurance. Spouses are generally covered.

Don't laugh, a whole lot of people I know over the years have had that as a darned good reason to have the big party and get the piece of paper.

Alternate question: since divorce is so common, why NOT get married?

 

[StageLeft]

A good marriage is better than a good unmarried relationship in my experience. Take no risk in life you get nothing good.

tradition for the sake of tradition, and to relieve the pressure and/or brainwashing to get married that is put on us by family and society.

personally i agree with you, and don't plan on ever getting married. i don't think the government needs to get any more involved with my life, and i think that ideally i would be happier with a woman who is not insecure about not being married.

As people grow up generally opinions like that one go away. There may be some who have married before and hold such an opinion but if you note the number of people who get married multiple times clearly they see some benefit to it.

 

[radioouman]

Nice question.

Yep, the benefits of being married outweigh the downsides. I have been married for just over 6 months, and I'm emotionally very unhappy. However, I'll stick it out because of things like health insurance for the spouse, two incomes (one rent payment...), etc.

I have had thoughts about why I got married over the past month. I'm sure that I would be much happier with myself if I hadn't gotten married. BUt I did it, so there's no point in turning back, right?

 

[StageLeft]

Originally posted by: radioouman
Nice question.

Yep, the benefits of being married outweigh the downsides. I have been married for just over 6 months, and I'm emotionally very unhappy. However, I'll stick it out because of things like health insurance for the spouse, two incomes (one rent payment...), etc.

I have had thoughts about why I got married over the past month. I'm sure that I would be much happier with myself if I hadn't gotten married. BUt I did it, so there's no point in turning back, right?

Actually if you're already unhappy and have nothing holding you to her like kids you need to get a divorce asap. Kids brought up in an unhealthy relationship (and if it's bad now wait a decade) will see that their parents don't love each other and will live in a negative household. Not only for your personal health, which will suffer throughout the rest of your life because of it, but your kids will be at a terrible disadvantage. I would think you should either get marriage counselling to repair the relationship or call it quits now. To "stick it out" this early in the game only 6 months in with no children at your young age (guessing) seems like a shame to me.

 

[radioouman]

Originally posted by: Skoorb

Originally posted by: radioouman
Nice question.

Yep, the benefits of being married outweigh the downsides. I have been married for just over 6 months, and I'm emotionally very unhappy. However, I'll stick it out because of things like health insurance for the spouse, two incomes (one rent payment...), etc.

I have had thoughts about why I got married over the past month. I'm sure that I would be much happier with myself if I hadn't gotten married. BUt I did it, so there's no point in turning back, right?

Actually if you're already unhappy and have nothing holding you to her like kids you need to get a divorce asap. Kids brought up in an unhealthy relationship (and if it's bad now wait a decade) will see that their parents don't love each other and will live in a negative household. Not only for your personal health, which will suffer throughout the rest of your life because of it, but your kids will be at a terrible disadvantage. I would think you should either get marriage counselling to repair the relationship or call it quits now. To "stick it out" this early in the game only 6 months in with no children at your young age (guessing) seems like a shame to me.

Well, you're right.... No kids now, and (since the wife is a teacher) no kids for the forseeable future, which is fine with me. I'm not sure that this is all because of being married. I'm guessing that a job that I really dislike is part of it, as well as not being able to afford to do any hobbies right now. So, I don't think that this is all from being married, but I am more likely taking everything out on my marriage.

 

[SnapIT]

Originally posted by: Skoorb
A good marriage is better than a good unmarried relationship in my experience. Take no risk in life you get nothing good.

tradition for the sake of tradition, and to relieve the pressure and/or brainwashing to get married that is put on us by family and society.

personally i agree with you, and don't plan on ever getting married. i don't think the government needs to get any more involved with my life, and i think that ideally i would be happier with a woman who is not insecure about not being married.

As people grow up generally opinions like that one go away. There may be some who have married before and hold such an opinion but if you note the number of people who get married multiple times clearly they see some benefit to it.

I have been married once, will never marry again...

It's not that i don't believe that other married couples won't benefit from it (although sometimes i do believe people stay together waaaay to long when they would be better off divorced), i just don't think it's for me...

 

[bGIveNs33]

Originally posted by: BingBongWongFooey

Originally posted by: Bop To celebrate a love that they believe will last eternal?

paperwork is a celebration? if you're worried about celebration, then get married, and have a huge wedding - but, why bring the law into it? why does uncle sam need to know or care?

Insurance rate breaks
Joint taxes
Easier fianances


Who claims the kids??(taxes) The wife or the husbad? What about last names? Which name does the kid carry? How many times will the kid have to explain to his friends that "No, my mom and dad are not married, they are just sleeping with eachother".

It just seems rather selfish to me. If you aren't going to have kids, than fine... do as you wish. But if you plan too, try thinking about what is best for the kids.

 

[skace]

The problem is not with marriage. The problem is with the abuse of marriage in this modern society. And yes, I agree that marriage is not necessary, but would feel that the relationship was somewhat 'casual' if marriage was never intended.

 

[Ornery]

Marriage is a promise of a lifetime of fidelity.

American Atheists Wedding Ceremonies

If you can't keep that promise, DON'T MAKE IT!

 

[Pliablemoose]

Marriage in US=serial monogamy

Text

 

[Eli]

Originally posted by: Ornery
Marriage is a promise of a lifetime of fidelity.

American Atheists Wedding Ceremonies

If you can't keep that promise, DON'T MAKE IT!

Give this man a cookie.

teh winnar.

Ding! Ding!

etc.

 

[Nitemare]

Why do people sign a prenup if they say until death do us part during the ceremony?

Why not say until she cheats on me or I cheat on her or we just can't get along anymore?