Why do parents let their kids get fat?[BBC Article]

busydude

Diamond Member
Feb 5, 2010
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http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-19661085

Not sure if a repost.

The health risks for obese children may be even greater than previously estimated, new research suggests. So why do parents let their children get fat?

The recent start of the new school year was greeted with reports of a dramatic rise in demand for extra-large uniforms for primary school pupils.

It came as no surprise to Carol. Her two nieces were wearing size 14 skirts by the age of 11, the average size worn by a grown woman in the UK.

Her son also struggled to find a uniform big enough at secondary school as his weight crept up to nearly 20 stone (127kg) in his teens.

"You do feel judged by other people when your child gets to that size, but the harshest critic is yourself," says the mother-of-two from Birmingham.

"I constantly asked myself 'what am I doing wrong?'"

It's a good question. Just over 33% of 11-year-olds are now overweight or obese and among four and five-year-olds it's 22%, according to the most recent figures from the National Child Measurement Programme, which assesses the height and weight of primary children in England. The figures are similar in Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland.

New research published today by the University of Oxford also suggests that obese children and adolescents have several risk factors for heart disease, including raised blood pressure and cholesterol, compared with normal weight children.

Obesity experts say parents are struggling with a multitude of problems when it comes to their child's weight. They range from a lack of education about food, limited cooking skills and limited money to buy healthier food to longer working hours and marketing campaigns for junk food aimed at kids.

But the more sedentary lives children now lead is also creating huge problems. Last week a study suggested that up to 75% of junior school children preferred to stay at home than go to their nearby park.

Watching TV was one of the most popular activities, with 89% saying it was how they liked best to spend their time away from school, according to researchers Lightspeed. In July, scientists from University of Montreal claimed every extra hour of television that a toddler watches each week adds to their waist size by the time they turn 10.

While the problems parents face might be increasing so is evidence about the dangers of obesity. So why do they let their children get so fat?
Katy's son weighed over 23 stone (147kg) by the age of 15. She knew the reason - he ate too much and did too little exercise. She says she tried to help him but things only changed after he decided to help himself.

"A lot of his eating habits were out of my control," says the mother-of-two from Buckinghamshire. "He would eat too much when he was at school and then come home and eat whatever was around, even cook big meals for himself. He wouldn't wait for me to get home and make dinner.

"I know I am not completely innocent when it comes to his weight. I have always struggled myself and have some bad eating habits, but I tried hard to change the way we both ate."

The turning point came on a holiday last year to the US. Her son was too big to go on certain rides at a theme park. Upset and humiliated, he went on a six-week weight-loss camp and lost nearly three stone (18kg). The camp was run by Wellspring UK, one of a number of firms offering camps in the UK.

"He had always refused to go before but now he wanted to. He is a different child now, so happy and confident. Before he had no self esteem and would have temper tantrums. His whole attitude to food has also changed, he now picks the right stuff to eat."

Some parents know they are a bigger part of the problem. Tracey says she allowed her daughter to pick up her own bad eating habits. Admitting to having a "complicated relationship" with food herself, she says she used it to bond with her daughter.

"We would snack together in the evening while watching television and treat ourselves with sweets and puddings. It was like our special time together," says the mother-of-one from Shrewsbury.

"I could see she was carrying a few extra pounds but she seemed happy. I didn't want to mention it because I didn't want her to feel negative about herself.

"When she started secondary she was almost 14 stone (89kg) and by then her bad habits were hard to break. I know I am responsible and I feel awful about it."

Despite the rise in child obesity, experts say it's wrong to just blame parents.

"They definitely have a responsibility, but the issue is much broader than simply blaming them," says Paul Gately, professor of exercise and obesity at Leeds Metropolitan University. He also runs weight loss camps for overweight children.

Many parents don't realise their child is fat when it might be obvious to other people, he says. According to studies, 75% of parents underestimated the size of an overweight child, while 50% underestimated the size of an obese child.

Even more surprisingly, a similar study of healthcare professions produced nearly the same results. It was carried out by Gately and his colleagues.
"A lot of it is because the images of obesity that we see in the media are people who are massive, 30 stone (190kg) or above. This is what a lot of people think of as being overweight, but they are extreme cases. It only takes a few extra pounds to actually be overweight."

People also judge things on what they see around them on a daily basis, Gately says. Tracey admits she let her daughter's weight creep up because "she was no bigger than some of her friends".

"Two thirds of adults in the UK are now classified as overweight, so our perception of what we consider the average size to be has changed," says Gately.

Tam Fry, chairman of the Child Growth Foundation and spokesperson of National Obesity Forum, agrees.

"When trained health workers find it hard to pick out an average-weight child then you have to start to think we've got a problem and it's bigger than just what parents do."

The daily emotional battle around food can also be be fraught between a parent and a child.

"When I got hungry I would get so angry and scream and shout," says Stacey, a mother-of-one from London. "My mum would often end up shouting 'just have it then'. The pressure I put on her was huge and unfair, it put a real strain on our relationship."

She has struggled with her weight from the age of five. She reached nearly 20 stone in her teens.

"My mum did everything she could think of to help me, enrolling me in sports classes and trying to get professional help. She even went to my school to tell staff what I was and wasn't allowed to eat, but the problem was me."

From a very early age children are very good at using a "whole set of behaviours" to get what they want, say experts. It's easy to judge but nearly every parent in the land has caved in to some sort of emotion blackmail from their child, says Gately. It just might not be about food.

Charlie Powell, campaigns director of the Children's Food Campaign - an alliance of 150 education bodies, health groups and children's charities - says it's also hard for parents to stand up to the barrage of junk food advertising.

"There are huge hurdles they have to surmount to keep their children healthy. It's stuff that wasn't around in years gone by and food manufacturers are very sophisticated in the techniques they use to appeal to children."

Katy's son, who is still 15, has lost another 3kg (6lbs) since coming home from camp. Carol's son eventually went on a weight-loss programme and lost about five stone (32kg). Now 27, he has kept it off.

Stacey had a gastric band fitted three years ago, at the age of 25, and is now 14 stone (89kg). She says she will work hard not to pass on her problems with food to her four-month -old daughter as she grows older.

Tracey is continuing to help her daughter, who is now 15.

"We're trying hard and being much healthier, but she will probably be watching her weight for the rest of her life, just like me. I feel awful about that."
 

Fritzo

Lifer
Jan 3, 2001
41,861
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It's not that they're letting it happen. It's that parents don't know how to eat, therefore they teach their kids bad habits.

My mom still cooks like she's in the 1950's southern US- everything is fried or covered in butter and sugar. I broke out of that mold on my own, but young kids don't have a chance.
 

ichy

Diamond Member
Oct 5, 2006
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It's awful in Baltimore. Drive by any city school and you'll see lots of students who look like little porkers. I'm not health nut but I still shudder when I think about the damage that people are doing to their bodies. Put down the soda and fried chicken!
 

waggy

No Lifer
Dec 14, 2000
68,145
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part of it is the eating. but i think the majority is kids are lazy. they go to school come home and plop down in front of the tv until bedtime. sure they pig out on junk food during that time too.

sure i played video games growing up. but hell i don't remember any of my friends sitting around watching tv or playing them as much as kids do today.
 

shortylickens

No Lifer
Jul 15, 2003
82,854
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Easier than fighting with them. Fighting to make them get up, exercise, eat healthy, cook healthy, cook vs. fast food, sports, chasing the dog.
I dont think parents are lazy so much as afraid of confrontation.
 
Feb 6, 2007
16,432
1
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Helps that a lot of adults are overweight. Kids learn behaviors from their parents. If your parents have an active lifestyle, they aren't raising little fatties. My brother is a personal trainer and his son is starting to get into hardcore bodybuilding; might be some correlation there, I'm not sure....
 

Fritzo

Lifer
Jan 3, 2001
41,861
2,089
126
part of it is the eating. but i think the majority is kids are lazy. they go to school come home and plop down in front of the tv until bedtime. sure they pig out on junk food during that time too.

sure i played video games growing up. but hell i don't remember any of my friends sitting around watching tv or playing them as much as kids do today.

We had to WALK to the arcade :D
 

Broheim

Diamond Member
Feb 17, 2011
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Helps that a lot of adults are overweight. Kids learn behaviors from their parents. If your parents have an active lifestyle, they aren't raising little fatties. My brother is a personal trainer and his son is starting to get into hardcore bodybuilding; might be some correlation there, I'm not sure....

I don't think the parent has to have an active lifestyle, but it's more about the mindset. my parents weren't very active when I was young, they just didn't have the time, but they expected me to do sports because that's what they did as children, they didn't tell me which sport I had to do but I had to do one. I was also taught from an early age that if I needed to go somewhere then I had a perfectly good bike that could get my ass there, my parents never drove me to school (like many parents do today unfortunately, atleast here in Denmark) or anything. As I got older and they started having more free time they switched to a more active lifestyle.
 

Mursilis

Diamond Member
Mar 11, 2001
7,756
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Helps that a lot of adults are overweight. Kids learn behaviors from their parents. If your parents have an active lifestyle, they aren't raising little fatties. My brother is a personal trainer and his son is starting to get into hardcore bodybuilding; might be some correlation there, I'm not sure....

Having active parents definitely helps. We run 5Ks as a family, and my son has already done 2 half-marathons with me, starting at age 12. He doesn't get to play video games if he hasn't run that day, and his sisters are both in soccer, with some running on the side as training.
 

Mixolydian

Lifer
Nov 7, 2011
14,570
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gilramirez.net
From what I've seen, fat kids almost always have fat parents. Likewise, thin kids (for lack of a better term) almost always have thin parents. It's all about lifestyle and eating habits.
 

Rudee

Lifer
Apr 23, 2000
11,218
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I drove by my old high school recently where I graduated in 1986. I was shocked to see so many out of shape kids. When I was in school, there was perhaps one person at most in the class who was out of shape. Now it seems half the kids are out of shape. 15 year old girls with muffin tops. 15 year old boys with chubby faces and guts. Sad... I see young teenagers walking into school with Starbucks coffee in their hands. No teenagers drank coffee when I was a kid. They also drink way too many high sugar/high calorie energy drink these days too. Wouldn't be surprised to see two thirds of the North American population obese in 10-15 years from now.
 
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ichy

Diamond Member
Oct 5, 2006
6,940
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I drove by my old high school recently where I graduated in 1986. I was shocked to see so many out of shape kids. When I was in school, there was perhaps one person at most in the class who was out of shape. Now it seems half the kids are out of shape. 15 year old girls with muffin tops. 15 year old boys with chubby faces and guts. Sad...

I graduated in 2001 and just looking at high school kids nowadays is shocking. I mean I expect kids from the ghetto in Baltimore to fail at life, but I work close to a suburban high school in Howard County which is a pretty affluent area and if I drive by the school around lunch time there's tons of fat kids.
 

Juddog

Diamond Member
Dec 11, 2006
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In my case it was simple. Dad was an alcoholic who didn't care enough about what he was eating, and when watching the kids would feed unlimited amounts of ice cream, hot dogs, greasy burgers, etc.. Mom never bothered to cook, or to educate on what food was good versus bad, and most dinners were out of the microwave.
 

thecrecarc

Diamond Member
Aug 17, 2004
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What the hell kind of measuring system is "stone"?! I can understand kilograms, and obviously pounds, but STONE? Silly UK-ers
 

Murloc

Diamond Member
Jun 24, 2008
5,382
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It's not that they're letting it happen. It's that parents don't know how to eat, therefore they teach their kids bad habits.

My mom still cooks like she's in the 1950's southern US- everything is fried or covered in butter and sugar. I broke out of that mold on my own, but young kids don't have a chance.
yeah this can also be the case.
And if a person gets fat when he's a toddler, then he'll stay fat for the rest of his life unless he diets and exercise. People who stay thin from the start have it much easier.

I didn't notice an increase in fatties here luckily.
 
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Exterous

Super Moderator
Jun 20, 2006
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Katy's son weighed over 23 stone

Wat? Is that like the same as the moon, ant, an alternator? I need a conversion here!


Well....fuck...I still have no idea how much that is...

then come home and eat whatever was around, even cook big meals for himself. He wouldn't wait for me to get home and make dinner.

If only there were some way she could control what food was at home!

"When I got hungry I would get so angry and scream and shout," says Stacey, a mother-of-one from London. "My mum would often end up shouting 'just have it then'.

Why - what an excellent lesson to teach your kids.
 
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