Why can't Frankenstein have children? (The start of Tuesdays Brutuskend JOKE thread) 7 Jokes in all now

[Brutuskend]

Because his nuts are on his neck.

snicker

 

[LordThing]

Oh jeesh, now Brut is hanging out at Grade School Playgrounds to get his material.

 

[hdeck]

wow, just wow

 

[Eli]

LOL...

That one actually made me laugh..

 

[Brutuskend]

Jim and Johnny die in a boating accident. Jim goes to heaven and Johnny goes to hell. One day Jim looks down at Johnny in hell. Johnny has a beer in his hand and a blonde on his lap. Jim gets pissed off, so he goes to God and says, "What is this? I think I want to go to hell. Just look at my friend down there."

God says, "Look closer. The beer has a hole in the bottom, and the blonde doesn't."

 

[notfred]

They're bolts.

 

[Brutuskend]

Originally posted by: notfred
They're bolts.

Details, details....

 

[Argo]

<nerd>

Actually frankestein is the person who created the monster. As far as I remember the monster itself doesn't have a name and is being refered to as "the creature" throughout the book.

</nerd>

 

[Brutuskend]

A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. "No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes," he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump.

As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. "Here," she said, handing him his pack of cigarettes. "I found them in the hallway." "Now," she said,

"if only I could find my gerbil."

{And just what was she DOING with the gerbil I wonder?!??!}

 

[Brutuskend]

Originally posted by: Argo
<nerd>

Actually frankestein is the person who created the monster. As far as I remember the monster itself doesn't have a name and is being refered to as "the creature" throughout the book.

</nerd>

Yeah I knew that.

See my post above yours.

 

[FeathersMcGraw]

Originally posted by: Argo
<nerd>

Actually frankestein is the person who created the monster. As far as I remember the monster itself doesn't have a name and is being refered to as "the creature" throughout the book.

</nerd>

It's pronounced FRONK-un-shteen!

 

[Brutuskend]

Dr. Whitcomb was examining a pretty New York high fashion model.

"My, you have a big vagina! My, you have a big vagina!"

"Oh, Doctor," retorted the girl, "you didn't have to repeat it!"

"I didn't!" said the M.D.

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I guess I'll make the "theme" today "Silly JOKES"

 

[Brutuskend]

Two blonde girls were talking and one couldn't help but notice how pretty and beautiful the others skin was. So she asked her outright what made her skin so soft and beautiful.

"Well, once a week I fill the bathtub with milk and just bathe and soak in it." So the blonde went to a farm and spoke to the farmer.

"I'd like a whole lot of milk."

"How much?" asked the farmer.

"Well, quite a lot because I'm going to bathe and soak in it."

He asked, "Pasteurized?"

"No...just up to my tits."

 

[fumbduck]

Originally posted by: Brutuskend
Dr. Whitcomb was examining a pretty New York high fashion model.

"My, you have a big vagina! My, you have a big vagina!"

"Oh, Doctor," retorted the girl, "you didn't have to repeat it!"

"I didn't!" said the M.D.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I guess I'll make the "theme" today "Silly JOKES"

That was probably my girlfriend.

 

[Mr.IncrediblyBored]

Originally posted by: Brutuskend
Dr. Whitcomb was examining a pretty New York high fashion model.

"My, you have a big vagina! My, you have a big vagina!"

"Oh, Doctor," retorted the girl, "you didn't have to repeat it!"

"I didn't!" said the M.D.

Ok, that one made me laugh.

 

[Walleye]

Originally posted by: KnightBreed

Originally posted by: Brutuskend
Dr. Whitcomb was examining a pretty New York high fashion model.

"My, you have a big vagina! My, you have a big vagina!"

"Oh, Doctor," retorted the girl, "you didn't have to repeat it!"

"I didn't!" said the M.D.

Ok, that one made me laugh.

i must be stupid, cause i'm not getting it...

 

[Brutuskend]

One word.

Echo...echo

 

[Cooljt1]

Originally posted by: Walleye

Originally posted by: KnightBreed

Originally posted by: Brutuskend
Dr. Whitcomb was examining a pretty New York high fashion model.

"My, you have a big vagina! My, you have a big vagina!"

"Oh, Doctor," retorted the girl, "you didn't have to repeat it!"

"I didn't!" said the M.D.

Ok, that one made me laugh.

i must be stupid, cause i'm not getting it...

me either....

 

[Walleye]

Originally posted by: Brutuskend
One word.

Echo...echo

oh.. now i get it.

 

[Argo]

Originally posted by: Brutuskend
Dr. Whitcomb was examining a pretty New York high fashion model.

"My, you have a big vagina! My, you have a big vagina!"

"Oh, Doctor," retorted the girl, "you didn't have to repeat it!"

"I didn't!" said the M.D.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I guess I'll make the "theme" today "Silly JOKES"

How come? Did he have his head in there???

 

[Brutuskend]

POSSIBLE TITLES FOR MONICA LEWINSKY'S NEW BOOK


I Suck At My Job
What Really Goes Down In The White House
How I Blew It In Washington
You Have to Work Hard to Find the Softer Side of the President
Clear and Present Boner
Testing the Limits of the Gag Rule
Going Back for Gore
Podium Girl
Secret Services to the President
Harass is Not Two Words: The Story of Bill Clinton
Deep Inside The Oval Office
The Congressional Study on White House Intern Positions
She's Chief of MY Staff!
Al Gore Is In Command For The Next 30 Minutes
How To Beat Off the Government
Going Down and Moving Up
Members of the Presidential Cabinet
How To Get Ahead in Business
Me and My Big Mouth
I Wore What You Did Last Summer

 

[DrPizza]

Originally posted by: Cooljt1

Originally posted by: Walleye

Originally posted by: KnightBreed

Originally posted by: Brutuskend
Dr. Whitcomb was examining a pretty New York high fashion model.

"My, you have a big vagina! My, you have a big vagina!"

"Oh, Doctor," retorted the girl, "you didn't have to repeat it!"

"I didn't!" said the M.D.

Ok, that one made me laugh.

i must be stupid, cause i'm not getting it...

me either....

Those are the best jokes.... the ones you have to ponder about for a couple seconds. It's sort of like a joke grenade. Toss it out at a bunch of people... count to 3, then laughter. Then, the ones who are laughing realize that a number of people don't understand the joke - another source of humor.

 

[SyahM]

LMAO! nice

 

[Mr.IncrediblyBored]

Originally posted by: Walleye
oh.. now i get it.

It's like the kid that always smiles and nods when people tell jokes, just so they don't think he is stupid.

 

[Brutuskend]

A man is visiting his wife in hospital where she has been in a coma for several years. On this visit he decides to rub her left breast instead of just talking to her. On doing this she lets out a sigh.

The man runs out and tells the doctor who says this is a good sign and suggests he should try rubbing her right breast to see if there is any reaction. The man goes in and rubs her right breast and this brings a moan from his wife.

He rushes out and tells the doctor. The doctor says this is amazing and is a real break through. The doctor then suggests the man should go in and try oral sex, saying he will wait outside as it is a personal act and he doesn't want the man to be embarrassed.

The man goes in then comes out about five minutes later, white as a sheet and tells the doctor his wife is dead. The doctor asks "what happened?"

To which the man replies "She choked."