I'm not saying that I disagree with this notion, but I am just curious why people consider the french to be such cowards. The only justification for this (that I have heard) is that the french lost to Germany within a couple months of WWII starting. Then we (americans) and the brits had to come in and save them. Does anybody think we would have done much better than france if we shared such a passable land border? Didn't britain and america last largely because of the bodies of water between them and their enemies?
Why are the french "wussies"?
- Thread starter mss242
- Start date
AreaCode707
Lifer
- Sep 21, 2001
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Someone posted this a few days ago. The accuracy of the history was never established.
- Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years
of French history, france is conquered by of all things, an Italian.
- Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who
inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are
victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."
-Italian Wars - Lost. france becomes the first and only country to ever lose
two wars when fighting Italians.
- Wars of Religion - france goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots
- Thirty Years War - france is technically not a participant, but manages to
get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other
participants started ignoring her.
- War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as
chapeaux.
-The Dutch War - Tied
-War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War Lost,
but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the
world over to label the period as the height of French military power.
-War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their
first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved ever since.
- American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future
Americans, france claims a win even though the English colonists saw far
more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the
Second Rule of French Warfare; "france only wins when America does most of
the fighting."
- French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also
French.
- The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!)
due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British
footwear designer.
- The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat
boy to france's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.
- World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, france is saved by the United
States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep
with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread
use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French
bloodline.
-World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and
Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.
- War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with
the Dien Bien Flu
- Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army
by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule
of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical
to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch,
Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.
- War on Terrorism - france, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders
to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese
ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. The question for any
country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on
the French?", but rather "How long until france collapses?"
- Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years
of French history, france is conquered by of all things, an Italian.
- Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who
inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are
victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."
-Italian Wars - Lost. france becomes the first and only country to ever lose
two wars when fighting Italians.
- Wars of Religion - france goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots
- Thirty Years War - france is technically not a participant, but manages to
get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other
participants started ignoring her.
- War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as
chapeaux.
-The Dutch War - Tied
-War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War Lost,
but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the
world over to label the period as the height of French military power.
-War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their
first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved ever since.
- American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future
Americans, france claims a win even though the English colonists saw far
more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the
Second Rule of French Warfare; "france only wins when America does most of
the fighting."
- French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also
French.
- The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!)
due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British
footwear designer.
- The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat
boy to france's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.
- World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, france is saved by the United
States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep
with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread
use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French
bloodline.
-World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and
Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.
- War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with
the Dien Bien Flu
- Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army
by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule
of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical
to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch,
Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.
- War on Terrorism - france, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders
to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese
ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. The question for any
country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on
the French?", but rather "How long until france collapses?"
Red Dawn
Elite Member
- Jun 4, 2001
- 57,529
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- 0
In reality the French have a history of conquest and heroism. After reading threads here about the French being Surrender Monkeys I decided to look into their History for myself and I was amazed at the mark they made in History and how they dominated Central and Western Europe.
This may be true.....but it was YESTERDAY......or should I say YESTERCENTURIES. Most peolpe don't have that long of a memory and the enemies they defeated were not as sophisticated as they have been in the last few hundred years. What matters is today, so they are undisputable PUSSIES!!!!
Historically it's accurate, but leaves out events like the Battle of Hastings (1066) -- leading to the Norman conquest of Anglo-Saxon Britain -- and many of Charlemagne's triumphs.
Rob
olds
Elite Member
- Mar 3, 2000
- 50,125
- 780
- 126
you know whats worse than this topic....how girls go crazy if ur french...its like you got this crazy mojo power if ur french
Red Dawn
Elite Member
- Jun 4, 2001
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- 0
Not to mention Charles Martel defeating the Moslem Horde which saved Europe from becoming a Continent dominated by Islam instead of Christianity. Charlamagne's Frankish Holy Roman Empire Dominated Central and Western Europe and was was responsible for converting the other Germanic Tribes to Christianity..usually by the point of a sword.
The French are cheese eating surrender monkeys because I saw it on the "Simpson's", and they always tell the truth......
everybody has their strengths.the french should stick to wine and food..yummm.they rule..
politics and global issues.....i don't think so....
politics and global issues.....i don't think so....
Read this
I think that calling the French perpetual losers, surrender-monkeys and god knows what, disgraces the memory of those 1.4 million French who died defending their country in WW1, the 100.000 French who died trying to save their country from Nazi-invasion, the thousands who fought and died in Dien Bien Phu.
I have noticed that americans get up in arms if someone makes fun of 9/11, or if someone makes not so nice comments regarding their war-veterans. But it seems to be perfectly OK to make fun of the dead, as long as they are French.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
I think that calling the French perpetual losers, surrender-monkeys and god knows what, disgraces the memory of those 1.4 million French who died defending their country in WW1, the 100.000 French who died trying to save their country from Nazi-invasion, the thousands who fought and died in Dien Bien Phu.
I have noticed that americans get up in arms if someone makes fun of 9/11, or if someone makes not so nice comments regarding their war-veterans. But it seems to be perfectly OK to make fun of the dead, as long as they are French.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
Red Dawn
Elite Member
- Jun 4, 2001
- 57,529
- 3
- 0
I gather you speak from a position of Manliness huh? Were you in the Gulf War, Bosnia or Kosovo? Were you ever on the receiving end of a rifle barrel pointed at you?
When we speak of America Liberating the French from the Nazi's we are talking about the actions of a past generation of Americans, one that's been designated as America's Greatest Generation by many American Historians. Frankly I don't think this current generation even remotely compares to that one. That's not to knock our servicemen and women of today as their duty is admirable. But they are not a true representation of the current generation who seems to have acquired a sense of entitlement from the deeds and sacrifices of past generations...so much so that they feel perfectly comfortable patting themselves on the backs for the lives that America's Greatest Generation sacrificed to free France from it's Nazi Occupiers.
That said, the French really should bath more often
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