Why are lawns such a PITA?

[TheSiege]

I swear, I can never get my lawn to be green, I areate, I fertilize, I reduce water pressure for less evap, I increase time. I try every year and this is what happens



Thoughts guys? Its only around mid 70s here in Utah

 

[IronWing]

You're trying to maintain a totally artificial vegetative condition. You're fighting climate and 470 million years of plant evolution.

 

[lxskllr]

Salt in a spreader. That'll give it a uniform color, and make it *much* easier to maintain.

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

I remember reading up on the history of lawns and that it was something to the tune of a sign of wealth? I never understand the whole lawn shit either, and I can't keep up with my lawn either.

I hired out a service to handle that shit for me, because with my last lawn it just got to the point where weeds and other grasses were beating out the grass that the lawn was made of.

Salt in a spreader. That'll give it a uniform color, and make it *much* easier to maintain.

Heh, I figured it was a troll, just curious of what exactly it does.... I mean obviously salt consumes water, but I have no idea how it works as far as mixing with the soil...

Google didn't disappoint.

 

[ElFenix]

that it was something to the tune of a sign of wealth?

no one had lawns up until some french nobleman decided he wanted to show off his wealth by spending a lot of money maintaining non-productive farmland.

 

[highland145]

Go artificial. Piss off people like you that will be jealous and piss off the environmental fundies cause it's fake.

Other than that, I feel your pain. I like running lawn equipment every weekend to piss off my neighbors.

 

[Red Squirrel]

The easiest is to not stress over it, don't live in a HOA and just let it do it's thing.

I'm summer I'll mow my lawn, and I might pull out some weeds if I'm bored, and I might spread seeds to overseed it, and that's about it. I don't spend too much time on it.

When the weather warms up I might actually rake it. I don't always get around to it and it just never gets done. But if I rake it early it will start to grow better.

Starting to wonder if summer just got cancelled this year though, there is no end in sight for winter. most of the snow is gone now but it's just so cold.

 

[Greenman]

Dump it. The best maintenance decision you can make is shit canning your lawn. I did it a few years back and now spend two days a year on yard work.

 

[Captante]

You may need several cans!

 

[IronWing]

Go artificial. Piss off people like you that will be jealous and piss off the environmental fundies cause it's fake.

Not true at all. Artificial lawns are much better for the environment than natural lawns. Owners of artificial lawns don't use fertilizers and herbicides.

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

Not true at all. Artificial lawns are much better for the environment than a natural lawns. Owners of artificial lawns don't use fertilizers and herbicides.

Or run gas/electric mowers/edgers/blowers weekly.

Or waste water with hoses/sprinklers.

I don't know how grass helps the environment though, so maybe there is something there.

 

[Red Squirrel]

How much work do you guys really put into your lawns anyway? I barely do anything with mine. I mow it every week or so for about 2 months of the year, and that's about it. Sometimes pull weeds or water it if I feel it's dry. At the start of the summer I do like to rake and spread more seeds, but other than that I don't really obsess over it. I have quite a lot of dandelions in mine that sprout back up in summer so I sometimes pull those out if I feel inclined and it's just something to do to spend time outside.

 

[Captante]

Or run gas/electric mowers/edgers/blowers weekly.

Or waste water with hoses/sprinklers.

I don't know how grass helps the environment though, so maybe there is something there.

Could also just pave her right over!

Never do yard-work again.

 

[Red Squirrel]

I kinda want to upgrade to an electric mower, I like the idea that it's green and no need to mess with gas. I would charge it right in my shed off solar. Electric snowblower would be cool too, I think that will eventually come. They do make some but they aren't really meant to replace a gas one. I sometimes see people selling old snowblowers for super cheap, might try to EV convert one once I have my shop built. Would make a fun project.

 

[shortylickens]

Because you touch yourself at night on the lawn.

Just kidding.
Its because suburban life is too easy and you need something to irritate you.

 

[TheSiege]

I kinda want to upgrade to an electric mower, I like the idea that it's green and no need to mess with gas. I would charge it right in my shed off solar. Electric snowblower would be cool too, I think that will eventually come. They do make some but they aren't really meant to replace a gas one. I sometimes see people selling old snowblowers for super cheap, might try to EV convert one once I have my shop built. Would make a fun project.

I got on for free this week, the lady said the charger was broke, but I had one that worked

 

[TheSiege]

Dump it. The best maintenance decision you can make is shit canning your lawn. I did it a few years back and now spend two days a year on yard work.

What did you replace it with?

 

[highland145]

Stfu, Red, you ain't never seen green grass.

 

[Red Squirrel]

Had to go pretty far into my pic archives but did find some green grass.



Backyard usually does not look as nice though.



2nd pic would have been earlier in the season though. Was testing out my new chainsaw.

 

[highland145]

Had to go pretty far into my pic archives but did find some green grass.



Backyard usually does not look as nice though.



2nd pic would have been earlier in the season though. Was testing out my new chainsaw.

Well done, my friend, well done.

 

[Greenman]

What did you replace it with?

Drought resistant plants, mulch, and big rocks. Everything is on a drip system, uses 20 gallons of water every other day in the summer. It looks great, several people have stopped by to ask who the landscape designer was (it was my wife).

 

[VirtualLarry]

I like running lawn equipment every weekend to piss off my neighbors.

And THAT, folks, is why "Cavemen" invented "lawns".

 

[[DHT]Osiris]

3 acres that looks like this half the year (and white the other half).

Quit fighting nature so much, try planting trees instead.

 

[highland145]

Not true at all. Artificial lawns are much better for the environment than natural lawns. Owners of artificial lawns don't use fertilizers and herbicides.

Shouldn't you be in a desert somewhere?

 

[IronWing]

Shouldn't you be in a desert somewhere?

When you live in the desert for awhile it changes your view of lawns. They look like petri dishes for mold, squishy and unwholesome.