Why Americans Should Never Be Allowed To Travel

kentucky567

Banned
Jul 26, 2008
10
0
0
Why Americans Should Never Be Allowed To Travel

The following are actual stories provided by travel agents:

Quote:
Original posted at http://www.strangeplaces.net/weirdthings/travel.html


I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts. "Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response ... click.

A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state."

I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." He said "But they look so close on the map."

Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay over in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time."

A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of llinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them."

A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."

A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express."

A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"
 

Aharami

Lifer
Aug 31, 2001
21,205
165
106
i came in here expecting a nice rant about how americans are the most obnoxious tourists, but instead i get a chain email

edit: i actually laughed at the last one
 

Jessica69

Senior member
Mar 11, 2008
501
0
0
Laughed, but was ripped from another page......which was probably ripped from another page......and on and on..........

http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/t/travelagent.htm


Note the big ole "UNPROVEN" at the top.........and this included line, "Many of these kinds of lists of alleged crazy conversations in the marketplace are fabricated."

Fabricated.....DUH!! Who'd have ever thought that?

Of course, I like my linked page of "rumored" conversations better, because it blames all the stupidity on government employees asking the stupid questions....makes for a better story. ;)
 

EMPshockwave82

Diamond Member
Jul 7, 2003
3,012
2
0
Originally posted by: nublikescake
sounds fake...

you wouldnt think that if you worked customer service.

It probably is a bunch of made up stories, but I would say that at least 1/2 of these happened at some point in time.
 

marvdmartian

Diamond Member
Apr 12, 2002
5,444
27
91
What? You guys have never rolled down the window while you're flying??? Man, there is NOTHING in this world that compares to sticking your head out the window, and catching a breeze, doing 500mph at 35000 feet!!! :laugh:

The one with the lady and her FAT tag made me laugh. ;)
 

Nitemare

Lifer
Feb 8, 2001
35,461
4
81
yeah that list is probably older than dirt and has been circulating via email for over a decade. Every country has it's own retards, the US is no exception.

I've heard some doozies from "so called Engineers" as well, just the latest was a universal driver that was supposed to work on Linux, Unix and Solaris, yet was only compiled for a specific kernel.
 

Lounatik

Golden Member
Oct 10, 1999
1,845
1
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I can almost believe these because I did telemarketing a long time ago. The address of the place was 1234 Hempstead turnpike, New York. I got many calls from ding dongs that could not pronounce Hempstead Turnpike. The best one was "Hamsteak Turnpipe" I said "Yes, send your money to Hamsteak Turnpipe, New York" Imagine the post office looking at the address and saying " What the flying fuck is this?" Too funny.


Peace

Lounatik
 

BoberFett

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
37,562
9
81
Originally posted by: nublikescake
sounds fake...

Yep. A travel agent is already going to know that Fresno is FAT, and it's not called a city code it's an airport code.
 

DrPizza

Administrator Elite Member Goat Whisperer
Mar 5, 2001
49,601
167
111
www.slatebrookfarm.com
Originally posted by: JohnCU
there is no one that stupid.

I can only assume you never leave your house. However, most of the people that stupid don't make travel arrangements with a travel agent. Sometimes we elect those people into public office so that they can have a secretary who makes their travel arrangements.