<< by Robert Byron
Relaxing on a Saturday afternoon in front of the television I answered the
telephone as it rang. "Hello?"
"Hi! This is Morris with Canterbury Siding Company and I'm calling to tell
you about a great special we are running on our deluxe lifetime warranted
siding."
"Can you put it on a trailer?"
"No sir. I'm sorry but we can't"
"Okay, I don't have a trailer."
"You don't? What kind of house do you have?"
"A double wide."
"I'm sorry sir but, like I said, we can't install it on a mobile home."
"I don't have a mobile home."
"Did your house come with wheels?"
"They weren't on it when I moved in."
"Is it possible that your house has ever had wheels?"
"How many brick houses have you seen with wheels?"
"You want to put siding on a brick house?"
"Not the whole thing, just part of it."
"What part?"
"Just the part where I live but not where the neighbors live."
"Just how close are your neighbors?"
"Right next door."
"How many feet would that be? Ten feet? Twenty feet?"
"Oh no. It's not that far. They're just on the other side of our walls in
the other apartments."
"Do you own the apartment building?"
"No, we rent."
"Sir, we couldn't install siding there either. We'd have to get permission
from the owner."
"I'm sure he wouldn't mind."
"The owner would have to give us permission himself, sir."
"Hold on a second I'll ask him? Yep! He said go ahead and do it."
No sir, I'm afraid we can't do it that way. The owner will have to request
it in writing and we'd have to install siding on the whole building."
"Okay, well, I do have a house that needs siding you could do."
"Do you own the house?"
"I sure do."
"It isn't a mobile home or an apartment right?"
" No it's not either one."
"How many square feet would you say it is?"
"Oh, I don't know. I'd say it's probably a good five or six square feet."
"Five or six square feet? That sounds like a dog house!"
"It is."
"We can't do that sir."
"I've got an old van that could use some siding."
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