Who's Responsible?

[BeauJangles]

Pretty straightforward in my mind.

I have my mom's car at my house right now because my car is in for service near her house. I'm supposed to go back to her house on Sunday and exchange vehicles. Last night we had a party here. My buddy needed to move my mom's car farther into the driveway, so I gave him the key. He moves the car and I didn't get the key back right away. Now, he's a pretty responsible guy, so I assumed that he just had the key on him. Turns out he didn't. He put it on our key rack downstairs. My mom's key isn't there now. Luckily her car is.

Now, I never leave my keys there during a party. Ever. Most likely either he misplaced them or someone moved or grabbed them by mistake.

After I learned they weren't on the rack, I told him he needed to look for them to which he replied that he "put them on the rack." I understand that, but, in my opinion, it is his responsibility to make sure I get them back, not just put them somewhere. In his defense, our keys often go there and I never explicitly told him to hand them to me.

He gave the house a two-minute look-over and is now MIA. I need the keys back by tomorrow (at best). If he can't find them, is it unreasonable for me to expect him to foot the bill for replacing them (about $250)?

To me, this is pretty cut-and-dry. I lent him something, it never got back to me, it's his responsibility to find or replace them.

Am I off base here?

Cliffs:
-Friend borrows keys
-Friend puts keys on key rack
-Keys not there in the morning
-I want him to search for them and replace them asap if he can't find them

 

[x-alki]

You are responsible. You borrowed her car, not your friend.

 

[kranky]

He put them in a place you commonly put your keys, I think that excuses him from being obligated to replace them. But I understand why you think he should.

 

[Tristicus]

You are responsible. You're in charge of the car.

 

[BeauJangles]

You are responsible. You borrowed her car, not your friend.

Thank you Captain Obvious, obviously I'm responsible for what happens to my mom's car.

You are responsible. You're in charge of the car.

Again, I know that I'm responsible to my mom, that's not the question here. I'll fix the problem one way or another. I'm asking about the actual bind that i'm in right now.

He put them in a place you commonly put your keys, I think that excuses him from being obligated to replace them. But I understand why you think he should.

Alright, I see your point. My counterargument is that they never would have been there in the first place if he hadn't moved the car.

What really bugs me is that he put basically zero effort into even helping me find them and just has this attitude like "hey, not my problem." Even if he thinks it's not really his problem, he should fucking help me look for them when I ask.

 

[lxskllr]

You are responsible. You borrowed her car, not your friend.

That's how I see it. Your friend was acting as an agent to YOU. You have the ultimate responsibility for your actions, or anyone operating under your "hire".

 

[BeauJangles]

That's how I see it. Your friend was acting as an agent to YOU. You have the ultimate responsibility for your actions, or anyone operating under your "hire".

/facepalm

I'm not going to turn to my mom and say "hey, not my problem you are down a key for your car now." I'll end up replacing the key. That's NOT the question. The question concerns my friend and whether he should take any responsibility for actually losing my car key.

 

[MistaFreeze]

/facepalm

I'm not going to turn to my mom and say "hey, not my problem you are down a key for your car now." I'll end up replacing the key. That's NOT the question. The question concerns my friend and whether he should take any responsibility for actually losing my car key.

Well you could say that..

 

[lxskllr]

/facepalm

I'm not going to turn to my mom and say "hey, not my problem you are down a key for your car now." I'll end up replacing the key. That's NOT the question. The question concerns my friend and whether he should take any responsibility for actually losing my car key.

You asked "Who's responsible?" The answer is you are. You have to replace the key. Your friend's being a dick for not helping look, but in the end, it's on you.

Edit:
As a bonus, you now know you can't trust that friend with anything important, or count on him to cover your back when you need help. The price of some keys is a bargain for getting that information.

 

[Pacfanweb]

Your buddy is responsible to you. So he owes you a set of keys.

You are responsible to your Mom. So you owe HER a set of keys. You were in charge of the keys, you delegated. Since you delegated, it's up to you to replace the keys for the owner (Mom) and up to you to collect from the key loser (buddy).

 

[kranky]

I agree he should help you look for the keys. I'm wondering if he is not helping because he doesn't feel it's his fault the key is missing, and if he helps that might imply that he IS responsible.

Have you tried asking in a way that doesn't make it sound like he caused the problem? "Hey man, I know it's not your fault that the car key isn't on the rack, but I really need your help in looking for it. I don't want to pay $250 to replace it."

 

[BoomerD]

I agree with the above posters. YOU are responsible for the lost key, but if your friend is truly a friend, he will accept at least part of the responsibility to you for the replacement cost...and will pay up.

 

[lxskllr]

More directly to the problem. Did you check the ignition? Also look under the seats, and follow the path back to the door he used.

 

[mugs]

I'm confused. Everyone seems to believe (correctly) that the OP accepted responsibility for the car from his mother, but no one seems to believe that the OP's friend accepted responsibility for the car from the OP. The OP is responsible for making sure his mother ends up with her keys, but why isn't the OP's friend responsible for making sure the OP ends up with the keys?

I think it would be reasonable to split the cost. $250 for a set of keys is crazy though, unless there were 3 car keys.

 

[lxskllr]

I'm confused. Everyone seems to believe (correctly) that the OP accepted responsibility for the car from his mother, but no one seems to believe that the OP's friend accepted responsibility for the car from the OP. The OP is responsible for making sure his mother ends up with her keys, but why isn't the OP's friend responsible for making sure the OP ends up with the keys?

I think it would be reasonable to split the cost. $250 for a set of keys is crazy though, unless there were 3 car keys.

The way I see it, it's all on the OP. His mother lent HIM the car, nobody else. I wouldn't let anyone move a car that didn't belong to me(barring work trucks on a construction site). After mistake #1, his friend should have deposited the keys in his hand, which leads to mistake #3. The OP didn't account for the keys when his friend returned. If I were in the OPs position, I'd accept 100% blame, but his friend's a POS. I'd come over and help him look, and I don't even know the OP. Like I said, $250 is pretty cheap for the insight into his "friend's" character.

 

[nageov3t]

your mom > you > your friend

if your friend lost the keys, I'd say they should offer to pitch in to pay for new keys being made. if your friend doesn't do so, it's on you.

 

[BeauJangles]

I'm confused. Everyone seems to believe (correctly) that the OP accepted responsibility for the car from his mother, but no one seems to believe that the OP's friend accepted responsibility for the car from the OP. The OP is responsible for making sure his mother ends up with her keys, but why isn't the OP's friend responsible for making sure the OP ends up with the keys?

I think it would be reasonable to split the cost. $250 for a set of keys is crazy though, unless there were 3 car keys.

This is how I feel. I'm not about to duck my responsibility to my mom and blame him. In fact, I just called her and told her that the keys are missing, i'm looking for them, and telling her that I'll return her car to her tomorrow and replace the key.

Unfortunately (for me), my mom is a worrier and now thinks that someone is going to steal her car and wants to change all the locks on it. It's her prerogative, but now I'll probably be out even more money.

The $250 figure is what the dealer would quote me for a new laser-cut key, the fob that it sits in, and programming the key. Again unfortunately (for me), my step-father is a big believer in dealership-done work, so this will probably be the minimum that I pay.

Look, if I was in his situation, I would have at least apologized and helped look for the key if not immediately offering to pay for 1/2 of it.

your mom > you > your friend

if your friend lost the keys, I'd say they should offer to pitch in to pay for new keys being made. if your friend doesn't do so, it's on you.

Yes, this how I feel. IF (IF) I'd told him to give them back to me and he put them on the rack and then they disappeared I would make him pay for the whole thing, but I didn't and I'm not about to try and make shit up.

 

[BeauJangles]

The way I see it, it's all on the OP. His mother lent HIM the car, nobody else. I wouldn't let anyone move a car that didn't belong to me(barring work trucks on a construction site). After mistake #1, his friend should have deposited the keys in his hand, which leads to mistake #3. The OP didn't account for the keys when his friend returned. If I were in the OPs position, I'd accept 100% blame, but his friend's a POS. I'd come over and help him look, and I don't even know the OP. Like I said, $250 is pretty cheap for the insight into his "friend's" character.

Lesson learned. At least the car is still there! Buying my mom a new car would suck even more than replacing keys 🙂

 

[Rumpltzer]

You're responsible.

You gave him the keys, he moved the car, he put the keys back where they normally reside. He did nothing wrong. The only way out of this would have been if you would have told him, "don't put the keys on the rack; give them to me."

I see your counter-arguments, so I'll suggest another way of looking at the situation: you could have moved the car yourself... or told him not to put the keys on the rack.

 

[x-alki]

Thank you Captain Obvious, obviously I'm responsible for what happens to my mom's car.

You asked who was responsible, I told you. No need to get sarcastic.

Your friend should have put in a better effort to find the keys.

 

[DaTT]

This is how I feel. I'm not about to duck my responsibility to my mom and blame him. In fact, I just called her and told her that the keys are missing, i'm looking for them, and telling her that I'll return her car to her tomorrow and replace the key.

Unfortunately (for me), my mom is a worrier and now thinks that someone is going to steal her car and wants to change all the locks on it. It's her prerogative, but now I'll probably be out even more money.

The $250 figure is what the dealer would quote me for a new laser-cut key, the fob that it sits in, and programming the key. Again unfortunately (for me), my step-father is a big believer in dealership-done work, so this will probably be the minimum that I pay.

Look, if I was in his situation, I would have at least apologized and helped look for the key if not immediately offering to pay for 1/2 of it.



Yes, this how I feel. IF (IF) I'd told him to give them back to me and he put them on the rack and then they disappeared I would make him pay for the whole thing, but I didn't and I'm not about to try and make shit up.

There is no effing way he is responsible for the keys if he put them on a key rack in your home. I don't see why your friend should be responsible for paying a dime to have the keys replaced if they were put back where they belong....if someone stole them, or took them by mistake, how is this his problem? Would you be saying the same thing if borrowed your car, returned it to the driveway and it was stolen? Is he responsible simply because he was the last person driving it?

Jesus man, the only reason I feel you think he is responsible is because you don't believe him that he put the keys where he said he did.

 

[Brainonska511]

I don't get why your friend put the key on the rack. He should have handed it back to you when he finished moving the car, since you gave him the key in the first place. Yes, it might be a common area for keys - but he should have put the key back where he got it (back to you directly).

 

[ZOOYUKA]

You are responsible for the key. You chose to delegate your responsibility to someone and are now paying the price.

 

[bobdole369]

You are responsible for the car and its keys, which your mom lent to you.

Your buddy is sub-responsible to you. You need to get a new key, and you need to get your buddy to pay you back.

Your mom shouldn't have to wait for BS between your buddy and you, thus pay up, then take it out of his ass at a later date.

 

[KeithP]

The way I see it, since you gave him the key, he should have returned the key to you. The only exception would be if you had told him to leave the key somewhere else which you didn't do.

Based on your description, there were no other keys on the rack, is that correct? So the best case scenario is that your buddy, instead of returning the key to where he got it from, got lazy and left the key in a non-secure location during a party. And why would anyone else at the party take the key?

It seems to me the more likely situation is that he lost the key. He probably didn't return the key right away, forgot about it during the course of the party, and now can't find it.

If I was in his situation, and you asked me to help look for the key, I would bust my butt trying to find them because I would feel responsible. From what you have said, your buddy is a asshat.

All that being said, I would not have let anyone drive a car that was not mine but that I was responsible for. I believe you made a mistake doing that. At the same time, If I was the guy that last had the key, I would feel responsible for loosing them. It seems like a 50-50 split on the replacement costs would be reasonable.

-KeithP