Who Would You Follow Into Hell?

[gbrux]

OK. Here's the situation. We're at war with the devil. Our leaders have decided to enter hell, and to engage satan there, fire and brimstone included.

Who would you follow as your field general to your possible destruction?

 

[imported_yetti]

Teresa heinz, so we can do some, ehem, "special ops" 😛

 

[CycloWizard]

You need to add the main character from Doom in there. He'd be my first choice. 😀

 

[Bowfinger]

Originally posted by: CycloWizard
You need to add the main character from Doom in there. He'd be my first choice. 😀

Or a good, balanced team of Diablo II characters.

 

[JustAnAverageGuy]

Originally posted by: CycloWizard
You need to add the main character from Doom in there. He'd be my first choice. 😀

 

[dahunan]

Karl Rove because he would trick the Devils followers and they would kill the Devil all by themselves.

 

[jjzelinski]

I vote Bush, if I'm going to hell HE DAMN WELL BETTER be in front of me 😉

 

[nageov3t]

Kiddo... Beatrice Kiddo.

 

[gbrux]

OK. A little bio for some of these folks.

I will refrain from adding much to the bios for Bush and Kerry. We all should be familiar with the military backgrounds and actual martial experiences of each under hostile fire.

Nor will I say much about Carville and Limbaugh, the military background of both can be researched via the internet. Carville served in the US Marines, and Limbaugh avoided military service during the Vietnam war period because of a "pilonidal cyst" "A pilonidal cyst or sinus is an abscess (localized collection of pus) or a chronic draining sinus (canal or passage leading to an abscess) located in the opening between the buttocks muscles. This cyst may have a deep cavity containing hair and may be without symptoms unless it becomes infected."

As for Teresa Heinz, Laura Bush, and Barbara Bush, two of the three (Teresa and Barbara) have shown an aggressive attitude that suggests a capacity to lead troops in an extended military engagement. Barbara especially knows about war, and I suspect she paid close attention to military operations in both Gulf wars and Afghanistan. Laura Bush has not shown any martial tendency other than as a nice school teaher, which is her professional training.

The last three on the list are fictional charaters. Cyrano is the superb swordsman and poet in Edmund Rostand's play. He single-handedly defeated one hundred assassins. The description of him in the play shows that he is highly respected by his friends, feared by his enemies, admired by other swordsmen like D'Artagnan, and brave, courageous and highly successful on the field of battle. His troops will love him, and would be happy to die for him.

Philip Falconbridge, sometimes spelled Faulconbridge, is the illigitimate son of King Richard of England (Richard the Lion Hearted). Although he was a real person, the most vivid description of him is in Shakespeare's play, The Tragedy of King John. Philip is one of the truly heroic characters in all of Shakespeare. He is brave, witty, loyal to the king, an outstanding field commander, and excellent warrior. He was so good that he lead small contingent of English soldiers to a stand off against the invading French army. As Shakespeare tells it, if it were not for "Philip The Bastard", King John and England would have been lost to Louis the Daughin and France. Were he real, he'd be my pick to lead the fight against the devil.

Beatrice Kiddo is the excellent samurai swordsman in Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill films. When she has to defeat an enemy, she is methodical, determined, and almost arrogant as she goes about her business. We remember her "To Do" kill list. She was motivated by a need for revenge, not honor or defense of person or country. So, we don't know what kind of leader she would make or whether the troops under her command would follow her to the death.

 

[judasmachine]

none of them! god why in buddha would i follow a mere mortal anywhere? if you have "faith" in mortals you get what you deserve and will prolly end up in Hell.