Who knows how to milk a cow?

[Bimmer318i]

Hey everyone, this is Abirinder's (bimmer318i) girlfriend and I really am wondering how to milk a cow because I've never done it before....

And NO SICKOs

So can anyone help me out????

 

[RaoulDuke]

i've uhhh actually milked a cow when i went on a field trip in grade school. From what i remember, you squeeze gently and pull the teet (the thing attached to the udder), and milk shoots out.

 

[TallBill]

i dunno, but u better get homo milk if yer in canada

 

[RaoulDuke]

nod, bag it too.

 

[Bimmer318i]

bob970 - WHAT THE?

 

[TallBill]

do a search for homo or milk in the ot forums .. its funny

 

[Yo Ma Ma]

It's sort of an acquired skill, find a milk cow & a milker they will show you. Trying it from just reading text will probably result in an uneasy cow.

 

[Elledan]

It's very easy, although it might require a few tries before you get it right.

You wrap your hand around the upper part of the teat (the 'nipple' of the udder), press slightly and push your hand downwards. That way you'll squeeze the milk out of the teat. Repeat this procedure until less milk comes out, or the cow kicks you against the head.

Hint: it's not a pleasant feeling to feel the cow's tail in your face.

Good luck

 

[Yo Ma Ma]

P.S. If you try it from Elledan's instructions make sure you get a cow & not a bull.

 

[MOgeeks]

Is milking a cow any different from milking a goat?
anyway, i am sensitive to milk, so it does not matter.

 

[RaoulDuke]

punch the udder until the cow falls over and then cut open the udder and steal the milk. the cow will never know.

 

[Elledan]

<< P.S. If you try it from Elledan's instructions make sure you get a cow &amp; not a bull. >>

ROFLMAO!

It's the last and most fatal mistake you can make

 

[Bimmer318i]

I get it now bob ...

 

[Bimmer318i]

LOL @ raoulduke !

 

[Scouzer]

Just FYI, it seems you Americans got confused with Bob's posts but here's clarification...

Here in Canada we have 4 different types of cow milk, USA might be the same but by judging you fact you seemed confused you probably don't...

We have
Skimmed Milk - I think this has no fat... its nasty
1% and 2% Milk - Duno I think thats how much is fat or something... 2% is good
Homogonized (Homo) Milk - is the fattening stuff...not as much as eggnog though

 

[ShotgunSteven]

Grip around the upper part of the teat, then squeeze with each finger from the top one on down, in descending order, while also moving your whole hand down, so that when you reach the bottom of the teat, all fingers are constricted.

 

[MeanMeosh]

i have had to do that before, shotgunsteve's suggestion is pretty accurate...

lol, i dont wanna know why you have to learn this though

 

[TallBill]

cheers to homo milk eh?

 

[Bimmer318i]

hell yea eh ....

 

[bonkers325]

not me

 

[Bimmer318i]

boo to you bonkers ...

 

[Moonbeam]

I can row a boat. Canoe?

 

[bhungy]

HAHAHAHAHAHA

 

[Antoneo]

The variety of topics in ATOT never cease to amaze me!

 

[purplehayes]

ShotgunSteve has you pointed in the right direction. It's a little tricky until you get used to it. You could always go to a farm with electric milkers and then all you have to do is stick a little &quot;suction pump&quot; this on the end of each teat. Kind of looks like one of the penile enlargement tools X 6. LOL

PH