oops saw it above!
But I'll explain any way, you need to learn History. Germany was responsible for Hitler, not the other way around. The culture around that time was what made the holocaust, not one man. The culture was blaming the Jews for everything, which was why Hitler came to power in the first place. Hitler rarely ordered his people to kill, he just gave them the choice and left all of the decisions to them.
The Germany - Hitler connection is not a one-way street in either direction. It is disingenuous to suggest that Hitler created himself or that Germany created Hitler.
I'm more than happy to get into a lengthy discussion about Hitler's rise to power, but I think that, for the start it is sufficient to say that the environment in Germany was ripe for a man like Hitler, not necessarily Hitler himself. His character and his charisma carried him far, but he was also extraordinarily fortunate in the early 1930s. To simplify matters into "Hitler didn't like the Jews and therefore became the leader of a nation that hated Jews" is an oversimplification.
Antisemitism in Germany was nothing new and Hitler knew how to play on those feelings when the time was right. If you read his campaign speeches, it is very interesting to see where he chose to emphasize the Jewish rhetoric and where he chose to tone it down.
That being said, the men who placed Hitler in power were not the same individuals that showed up to his rallies. They were aristocrats who were interested in finding someone who could be controlled once they were placed in power. They firmly believed that Hitler was a good choice because he was popular with the people and because they could keep him on a short leash. The backroom deal that put Hitler in the Chancellor's seat had nothing to do with his antisemitism.
As for the sentiment of the nation, you are certainly correct in saying that the betrayal myth was strong in the immediate aftermath of the war. The fact that Allied soldiers did not set foot on German soil perpetuated the idea that Ludendorf had thrown the entire nation under the bus and, while Jews certainly bore some of the blame, they weren't the sole focus of Germany's ire.
As for Hitler's direct contributions to the Holocaust, you are correct in saying that Hitler's approach was not "hands-on." The Wannssee Conference was planned, executed, and attended without his presence, but to say that he gave people the "choice" is misleading, bordering on factually incorrect.
Hitler surrounded himself with like-minded people and it was those people, inspired by Hitler's own words and actions, who presented and executed the Final Solution. Though the "decisions" were their own, these men constantly referenced Hitler's own words to justify their actions. Undoubtedly, many of these people were genuinely antisemitic, though some expressed antisemitism only to "fit in." To think, however, that these people would have furnished the Final Solution on their own, without Hitler, is silly. He brought them together, he put the tools of the Holocaust in front of them, and he created an environment in which something like the Holocaust could have happened. As the war waned his continued support of the Final Solution, at the expense of the war effort itself demonstrates how perverted and how fixated he was on solving the Jewish question.
The Third Reich is a fascinating subject, but trying to boil the relationship of Hitler and Germany or the relationship of Hitler to his officers and his army down to a simple three-sentence explanation is impossible.