Same here.I'm white and pretty well off and feel the same way. The difference is I don't give a shit what people think about me and you do. I'm into a lot of nerd shit that other people aren't into.
One reason why I've never felt much like listening to Dylan is that I dislike so many of his fans. They almost all seem to be privately-educated. Certainly all the famous ones.
"networking" is a critical part of how a class-system maintains itself.
There is a good reason for this though... you shouldn’t let others define what is interesting to you.Even as a white guy, I'm pretty sure I'm actually more ignorant / oblivious to the stuff they would talk about in social settings.
Sounds like you are hanging out with a very specific crowd that talks about very specific topics that you are not interested in. It's not really a white person thing.
TO be honest, I took it as read that the issue was more about class than race. But feeling alienated can take different forms, and an individual can interpret it in different ways, if there are multiple possible differences available to focus on, one might initially perceive it as being due to any one of them.
thank you, appreciated. I think note taking is also a real thing i have to do, track my knowledge acquisition. haha.. but really, i hear the people who say "be yourself," the truth is somewhere in the middle i think
If you're into nerdy shit, just rewatch some Sci-Fi and have Wikipedia open while you do. Stuff like the BSG Reboot or the eleventy-seven seasons of StarGate is all full of cultural allusions for people to feel clever about getting.
When you catch some wink-and-nod-sentence you think you probably were expected to associate with something else, but didn't, then google the phrase and you're good to go.
Something like this might help you short cicuit the process.
Amazon.com: The Literary Galaxy of Star Trek: An Analysis of References and Themes in the Television Series and Films: 9780786425716: Broderick, James F.: Books
Amazon.com: The Literary Galaxy of Star Trek: An Analysis of References and Themes in the Television Series and Films: 9780786425716: Broderick, James F.: Bookswww.amazon.com
You're in good company. I have to do the same thing.
Books would work but maybe don't beat yourself over the headSo I know this is going to come off as anywhere from ironic to racist, but I sincerely don't mean any of this as negative - I view *MYSELF* as the ignorant one.
Being quarantined I've been thinking a lot about stupid things and one thing is my inability to keep up at white mid-to-upper class gatherings. I work real estate (clients range from students, bankers, to that one dutch billionaire), dabble in diy film, and my wife is impressive with her multiple masters and her future phd. - networking is kinda important and we often socialize with aspirational /educated nyc/brooklyn .. The problem is that my Jamaica Queens (hood) born self gets lost in conversation so often that I feel really self conscious because I don't get the references, I haven't read that particular book, nor have I heard that one album EVERYONE seems to know the lyrics to verbatim. .. I feel like a big dumb gorilla, and just close up and keep to myself. When it's a slightly educated crowd (my wifes a teacher and her friends are arty but not snobs, good people) and the jack kerouac quotes are thrown in with bob dylan quotes and.. my inner city schooled brain just implodes. I'm ignorant, I'm not viewing anyone as being wrong in this equation but me - I used to think they were pretentious but you know, I want my kids and family to benefit from knowing those people's kids and not be dismissive, upward mobility and all.
So school me.. Is there like a list of authors, musicians.. cliff notes (Anthology books?), magazines to read.. just shit to read up on in my covid free time to be a little less ignorant and deers in headlights when some cultural reference from 20 years before i was born comes up, that EVERYONE else seems to know about. It's often so weird to me that a 22 year old will finish a joni mitchell lyric from 1967, it's almost like it's keyed in their dna. Note my wife is white, her annoyed response is always "we just grew up around it!" I want a list! hahaha
Bingo. I used to think everything was about race but the older I get (and the more amazingly successful indian people I see) I'm realizing it's more class and the culture I grew up around. White, hispanic, whatever - put me in a room of plumbers (my parents were civil servants) and i know the humor, topics, etc. It's higher brow american culture that I'm having a difficult time penetrating (and I'm *certain* that my financial situation can improve if I expand my network being in sales, so I feel like I have to).
To get really personal I'm also obese and everyone in nyc seems so tiny to me these days. I don't whine about it because it's something I know how to fix, but just to let you in on my layers of insecurities.
So I know this is going to come off as anywhere from ironic to racist, but I sincerely don't mean any of this as negative - I view *MYSELF* as the ignorant one.
Being quarantined I've been thinking a lot about stupid things and one thing is my inability to keep up at white mid-to-upper class gatherings. I work real estate (clients range from students, bankers, to that one dutch billionaire), dabble in diy film, and my wife is impressive with her multiple masters and her future phd. - networking is kinda important and we often socialize with aspirational /educated nyc/brooklyn .. The problem is that my Jamaica Queens (hood) born self gets lost in conversation so often that I feel really self conscious because I don't get the references, I haven't read that particular book, nor have I heard that one album EVERYONE seems to know the lyrics to verbatim. .. I feel like a big dumb gorilla, and just close up and keep to myself. When it's a slightly educated crowd (my wifes a teacher and her friends are arty but not snobs, good people) and the jack kerouac quotes are thrown in with bob dylan quotes and.. my inner city schooled brain just implodes. I'm ignorant, I'm not viewing anyone as being wrong in this equation but me - I used to think they were pretentious but you know, I want my kids and family to benefit from knowing those people's kids and not be dismissive, upward mobility and all.
So school me.. Is there like a list of authors, musicians.. cliff notes (Anthology books?), magazines to read.. just shit to read up on in my covid free time to be a little less ignorant and deers in headlights when some cultural reference from 20 years before i was born comes up, that EVERYONE else seems to know about. It's often so weird to me that a 22 year old will finish a joni mitchell lyric from 1967, it's almost like it's keyed in their dna. Note my wife is white, her annoyed response is always "we just grew up around it!" I want a list! hahaha
when cornered, I fall back on 'The Princess Bride' quotes.
Works every other fuckin time.
"Shit gets you drunk, good enough." usually takes care of the alcohol snobs (drunkards).LOL
Can confirm...
Stuck listening to a couple of 20 nothing -30 something wine snobs battle it out dropping references to whatever winery in South Africa vs Argnetina.
my entire pop culture knowledge comes from seinfeld
+ classical history knowledge comes from DuckTales.
Different generation. I learned from Peabody and Sherman.+ classical history knowledge comes from DuckTales.
Bullwinkle was written for adults, natch.Different generation. I learned from Peabody and Sherman.
I have Family and friends in NYC across tons of sub cultures and professions.
Your racial background is not an excuse. Maybe your cultural background handicapped you.
The issue is that you appear to be behind the curve when it comes to intellectual curiosity and you are now dealing with that awkward phase.
The proper way to handle that is to ask questions to those who drop the references.
That's how "conversations" happen.
If you want a head start, asking a bunch of weirdos on an obscure tech forum is the slow way.
Just use google
Top 100 most influential books\music\films\figures
Learn about the the people who have influenced American society and then check out some of their output.
Some of those figures are influential for good reason that goes beyond surface.
I learned from bothDifferent generation. I learned from Peabody and Sherman.
I'll offer this. I just started a book that's fantastic and I'm 100% sure you can totally relate to it. If you haven't read it, I strongly suggest you read it. Yes, I'm white, but I was born in Manhattan, have spent 93% of my life in urban CA, live in Berkeley, Ca, which is culturally and ethnically extremely diverse.So I know this is going to come off as anywhere from ironic to racist, but I sincerely don't mean any of this as negative - I view *MYSELF* as the ignorant one.
Being quarantined I've been thinking a lot about stupid things and one thing is my inability to keep up at white mid-to-upper class gatherings. I work real estate (clients range from students, bankers, to that one dutch billionaire), dabble in diy film, and my wife is impressive with her multiple masters and her future phd. - networking is kinda important and we often socialize with aspirational /educated nyc/brooklyn .. The problem is that my Jamaica Queens (hood) born self gets lost in conversation so often that I feel really self conscious because I don't get the references, I haven't read that particular book, nor have I heard that one album EVERYONE seems to know the lyrics to verbatim. .. I feel like a big dumb gorilla, and just close up and keep to myself. When it's a slightly educated crowd (my wifes a teacher and her friends are arty but not snobs, good people) and the jack kerouac quotes are thrown in with bob dylan quotes and.. my inner city schooled brain just implodes. I'm ignorant, I'm not viewing anyone as being wrong in this equation but me - I used to think they were pretentious but you know, I want my kids and family to benefit from knowing those people's kids and not be dismissive, upward mobility and all.
So school me.. Is there like a list of authors, musicians.. cliff notes (Anthology books?), magazines to read.. just shit to read up on in my covid free time to be a little less ignorant and deers in headlights when some cultural reference from 20 years before i was born comes up, that EVERYONE else seems to know about. It's often so weird to me that a 22 year old will finish a joni mitchell lyric from 1967, it's almost like it's keyed in their dna. Note my wife is white, her annoyed response is always "we just grew up around it!" I want a list! hahaha