Steps to Finding Local Personal Ads:
1. Sit up from computer.
2. Put one foot in front of the other, make a walking movement (similar to when you have to use the bathroom or get something to eat).
3. Go to front door.
4. Twist knob to open front door.
5. Find local paper on front doorstep.
6. Bend down to get it, careful not to strain any muscle.
7. Find the index.
8. Turn to classified ads.