Chrono - Yup yup, I should definitely try and expand on the subject. After many years of not knowing how to talk to my parents, I guess I just sorta stopped trying. I should probably start trying again.
JulesMaximus, deathkoba, cherrytwist - not having parents anymore is definitely one of my huge fears, despite not being very close to them. Both of my parents are close to 60, and considering their sedentary lifestyle, I dunno how much longer they'll live. They're not like some American parents who at the age of 65 still go hiking or go on a 5 mile run every morning. They just sit around, and even though they're not overweight, I'm guessing their bodies are very weak. Even if they live to 75, 15 years is an awfully short time. School school school, and before you know it a year has passed and everyone's a year older. Then work work work, and like above, before you know it it's another year. Just 15 "before you know it"s and I'm 36 with parents very close to passing away, and knowing their life is about to end and with nothing they can do except wait for it. And during those 15 years their quality of life will only degrade as they get weaker and sicker, especially my dad who's got a leaking mitral valve in his heart. My mom used to be my #1 cuddle buddy when I was a baby and a toddler, and losing her, despite the fact that she makes me angry like no other now, would be devastating 🙁 I sometimes try to imagine what it'd do as I sit by their bed waiting for them to slip away. I sometimes try to get inside their shoes. "I'm on my deathbed. I will die here. Soon. This is it. All these years. Gone. With a child who doesn't understand me..."
deathkoba - My parents have expressed interest in going back to China or Asian, so I guess I should try to get them to go somewhere. The main difference between them and me is they will always stay with family, whereas I will try and explore other places. We have relatives in Nanjing. If they go to China they will just go there and stay. I would want to go to Beijing, Xian, Shanghai, etc, so I would feel really limited by just sitting around Nanjing. But this isn't really a big deal, just more of a statement of our differences. I'm essentially travelling for them, not for myself.
Thetech - Yup, there have been so many times when I've wanted to just make a ton of money just to pay them off and essentially buy my freedom and respect. My parents always compare me to others in the family who are more successful, and that hurts 🙁 It seems to them that success is the defining characteristic of a person 🙁
evident - You've definitely hit on a touchy subject, one that makes me feel bad about complaining at all. Both of my parents grew up very very poor, almost to the point of starving. Large families with parents who could barely afford to pay for food. As a result they became a very close knit family. They also got transported to the countryside for many years and were forced to do farm labor as a result of communist China, again having barely enough to eat. Despite all this, both of them studied their butts off and got into college and eventually to the US. They've been through hardships that would probably have killed me, having grown up in America, and this makes it feel so wrong to criticize them for stupid things like "they're boring."
Still, as bad as it sounds, the stories do get old. Imagine a WWII vet telling you that he fought for freedom and saw his friends killed because of it. The first ten times it would be quite moving. Now imagine you hear this for 15 years, 60 times a year, always reminding you how easy you have it now, Eventually it just becomes depressing, making you feel like a total brat, and you just don't want to hear it anymore 🙁 Still doesn't change the fact that they went through all these hardships though... but still... but then again...etc.
As for cooking, I'll start trying to learn some Chinese dishes. It's kinda hard to do when the closest grocery store is a Walmart super center though 😉 Still, I've always wanted to learn the recipes to some of the dishes authentic Chinese restaurants make. I figure that they make it within 15 minutes, and make multiple dishes at a time. They must be fundamentally simple... I've just gotta figure out the ingredients and stuff.
JulesMaximus, deathkoba, cherrytwist - not having parents anymore is definitely one of my huge fears, despite not being very close to them. Both of my parents are close to 60, and considering their sedentary lifestyle, I dunno how much longer they'll live. They're not like some American parents who at the age of 65 still go hiking or go on a 5 mile run every morning. They just sit around, and even though they're not overweight, I'm guessing their bodies are very weak. Even if they live to 75, 15 years is an awfully short time. School school school, and before you know it a year has passed and everyone's a year older. Then work work work, and like above, before you know it it's another year. Just 15 "before you know it"s and I'm 36 with parents very close to passing away, and knowing their life is about to end and with nothing they can do except wait for it. And during those 15 years their quality of life will only degrade as they get weaker and sicker, especially my dad who's got a leaking mitral valve in his heart. My mom used to be my #1 cuddle buddy when I was a baby and a toddler, and losing her, despite the fact that she makes me angry like no other now, would be devastating 🙁 I sometimes try to imagine what it'd do as I sit by their bed waiting for them to slip away. I sometimes try to get inside their shoes. "I'm on my deathbed. I will die here. Soon. This is it. All these years. Gone. With a child who doesn't understand me..."
deathkoba - My parents have expressed interest in going back to China or Asian, so I guess I should try to get them to go somewhere. The main difference between them and me is they will always stay with family, whereas I will try and explore other places. We have relatives in Nanjing. If they go to China they will just go there and stay. I would want to go to Beijing, Xian, Shanghai, etc, so I would feel really limited by just sitting around Nanjing. But this isn't really a big deal, just more of a statement of our differences. I'm essentially travelling for them, not for myself.
Thetech - Yup, there have been so many times when I've wanted to just make a ton of money just to pay them off and essentially buy my freedom and respect. My parents always compare me to others in the family who are more successful, and that hurts 🙁 It seems to them that success is the defining characteristic of a person 🙁
evident - You've definitely hit on a touchy subject, one that makes me feel bad about complaining at all. Both of my parents grew up very very poor, almost to the point of starving. Large families with parents who could barely afford to pay for food. As a result they became a very close knit family. They also got transported to the countryside for many years and were forced to do farm labor as a result of communist China, again having barely enough to eat. Despite all this, both of them studied their butts off and got into college and eventually to the US. They've been through hardships that would probably have killed me, having grown up in America, and this makes it feel so wrong to criticize them for stupid things like "they're boring."
Still, as bad as it sounds, the stories do get old. Imagine a WWII vet telling you that he fought for freedom and saw his friends killed because of it. The first ten times it would be quite moving. Now imagine you hear this for 15 years, 60 times a year, always reminding you how easy you have it now, Eventually it just becomes depressing, making you feel like a total brat, and you just don't want to hear it anymore 🙁 Still doesn't change the fact that they went through all these hardships though... but still... but then again...etc.
As for cooking, I'll start trying to learn some Chinese dishes. It's kinda hard to do when the closest grocery store is a Walmart super center though 😉 Still, I've always wanted to learn the recipes to some of the dishes authentic Chinese restaurants make. I figure that they make it within 15 minutes, and make multiple dishes at a time. They must be fundamentally simple... I've just gotta figure out the ingredients and stuff.
