When was your most embarrassing moment "breaking wind"

minendo

Elite Member
Aug 31, 2001
35,560
22
81
Originally posted by: PaulNEPats
During class? On a date?

I ripped ass in front of all of my employees on an elevator. We travelled 27 floors having to smell the dead midget released from my sphincter.
 

Ricemarine

Lifer
Sep 10, 2004
10,507
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4th grade... it was reading time, so everything was all quiet... I was in a corner with af riend, when I accidentally "let it rip." So the teacher, who didn't know who actually did it (or probably did), said "I hope whoever did it better think about what they've done." Me and my friend got a kick from it.
 

d3n

Golden Member
Mar 13, 2004
1,597
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Originally posted by: slayer202
Originally posted by: PaulNEPats
During class

quick little one, but very loud

That happens often to me. What I am not embarrassed about is letting one rip at the urinal. I mean theres a time and a place for releaving yourself and that bathroom is it.
 

jamesbond007

Diamond Member
Dec 21, 2000
5,280
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Started falling asleep in a class in high school during a video. You know how your body gets in that really relaxed state as you drift away? Well, my stomach relaxed a bit much and out she came! Just a quieter one, though; nothing serious. :p Only a couple people around me heard it.
 

Coolone

Senior member
Aug 18, 2001
983
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On a date. Thank heavens it didnt smell....

At least i dont think it did....

this would explain a lot...:D
 

latino666

Golden Member
Sep 27, 2005
1,103
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Originally posted by: minendo
Originally posted by: PaulNEPats
During class? On a date?

I ripped ass in front of all of my employees on an elevator. We travelled 27 floors having to smell the dead midget released from my sphincter.

:laugh:


Yeah I did it at work a couple of times. It's bad when you work with the public and let one go.
 

Iron Addict

Senior member
Jul 5, 2006
340
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during test and ripped out a loud one but didnt smell... everyone knew it was me...
during test and ripped out a quiet one but DEADLY smell... everyone didn't know it was me but it smelled so bad everyone was complaining...
 

RelaxTheMind

Platinum Member
Oct 15, 2002
2,245
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at times I do it freely at work/home/public... The more people who hear it the merrier...

but mostly I try to keep it to myself.
 

mrSHEiK124

Lifer
Mar 6, 2004
11,488
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Yep, I was in I think 8th grade, and I was at the Masjid for Friday speech and prayer. I was dozing off because the speech........sucked, and then I let out a fart so powerful I swear I felt the walls shake. It woke me up, and the Imam stopped dead in his tracks and was just dead silent for 5 seconds before continuing with his speech, then I went back to sleep :p.
 

Quasmo

Diamond Member
Jul 7, 2004
9,630
1
76
I fart twice when I wake up, they dont smell, but it's my natural alarm clock. I had to warn my gf the first time she slept over. I burped in her mouth on our first date, I'm a class act.
 

mrSHEiK124

Lifer
Mar 6, 2004
11,488
2
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Originally posted by: Quasmo
I fart twice when I wake up, they dont smell, but it's my natural alarm clock. I had to warn my gf the first time she slept over. I burped in her mouth on our first date, I'm a class act.

:laugh:

EDIT: Springboard boners are my body's natural alarm clock of choice.
 

Schadenfroh

Elite Member
Mar 8, 2003
38,416
4
0
Well, here is what happened in my college calculus final exam last year.

I had me a few tacos the night before and something did not agree with me (my guess, bad sour cream). I had developed ?the trots? less than 20 minutes before class started. I had a C in this class and this grade would push me into A territory if I could finish it. Walked in and started taking it, intestines bubbling. I held nothing back and farted as much as possible (small trickles of crap came with it). The putrid smell overcame many people around me as I heard them inch their desks away from mine. I could barely stand my own stench for the next half hour. I could not think because of the pain, so I asked the prof. to excuse me to the restroom. He allowed me to go, as he could smell my condition. I exploded in the restroom and the splash force from the toilet left a nice ring of sh!t where the water does not flow in the bowl. I am sure the janitor had a field day. I was running short of time and I was not going to finish my test, so I shoved toilet tissue into my ass crack to absorb any moisture as I did not have time to fully wipe. I returned to class as smelly as ever and sat back down. A few people had switched desks while I was out. I was momentarily relieved after my last bowl movement, but it only lasted for a short time. The farts started again, as did the "sharting". The smell remained terrible as people around me turned in their tests way too early. I was forced to return to the restroom and repeated the same thing above. Finally, I returned to the class and finished the test. Turned it in, but I missed a good deal as I was not able to concentrate. Ended up with a B in that class and a whole list of enemies (or at least people who shunned me).
 

eits

Lifer
Jun 4, 2005
25,015
3
81
www.integratedssr.com
i was in an elevator with this REALLY hot girl at a hotel downtown and i farted. we looked at each other and i asked, "did you just fart?"

she laughed :thumbsup:
 

Dobbs

Senior member
Nov 19, 2001
311
0
0
whats worse is somehting that sounds like it but actualy isnt.
Such as boots on a hardwood floor, your belt adjusting when you move, shifting your weight while seated...
Then its like, dude, I seriously didnt do anything, it was my "_____"...

 

mpitts

Lifer
Jun 9, 2000
14,732
1
81
Brodie: Let me ask you something. Did you ever fart in front of her?

T.S.: Why do you ask?

Brodie: - I never once farted in front of Rene. Then last week, I let one slip. Today she dumps me.

T.S.: You think that that's why Rene dumped you? She's not the shallow type, Brodie.

Brodie: She was goin' down on me.

T.S.: Shut up!

Brodie: What? What can I say? I was feeling very relaxed. When I'm relaxed, I squirt.

T.S: If all she did was dump you, you got off light.

:D
 

Rastus

Diamond Member
Oct 10, 1999
4,704
3
0
Since when is 'breaking wind' embarrassing? I would light one off in Macy's window if they let me.
 

mrSHEiK124

Lifer
Mar 6, 2004
11,488
2
0
Originally posted by: Dobbs
whats worse is somehting that sounds like it but actualy isnt.
Such as boots on a hardwood floor, your belt adjusting when you move, shifting your weight while seated...
Then its like, dude, I seriously didnt do anything, it was my "_____"...

Heh, last week in class I was sitting down with my legs up on the seat and I shifted my shoes and I guess they gripped the chair and made this REALLY loud fart-esque noise. Everyone looked at me funny, then I did it again for them to see "Jeez, it's just my shoes."
 

Excelsior

Lifer
May 30, 2002
19,047
18
81
Gym class in 7th or 8th grade. The whole gym was on the floor stretching so it was pretty quiet.
 

Jeff7

Lifer
Jan 4, 2001
41,596
20
81
Originally posted by: minendo
Originally posted by: PaulNEPats
During class? On a date?

I ripped ass in front of all of my employees on an elevator. We travelled 27 floors having to smell the dead midget released from my sphincter.

What in the hell. I've never heard it put quite that way before.
 

BigJ

Lifer
Nov 18, 2001
21,330
1
81
Went to hand in my midterm in front of a class of about 400. As I was handing it to the Prof, I coughed and out popped a magical bundle of gas. I think only the first few hundred heard it.
 

doze

Platinum Member
Jul 26, 2005
2,786
0
0
Originally posted by: eits
i was in an elevator with this REALLY hot girl at a hotel downtown and i farted. we looked at each other and i asked, "did you just fart?"

she laughed :thumbsup:

awesome