When to spank you kids?

[olds]

My friends mom took his door, his shoes, his bed and finally sent him to boot camp. Kid didn't change one bit, and then his uncle left him hundreds of thousands of dollars so now he's rich and can tell her to fuck off and she gets none.

If she only had a tank.

 

[biostud]

Never, considering it's illegal here.

Same here, btw you have a c and h too much in Sweden

Congrats on the qualification to the European Championship

 

[waggy]

depends on the situation. I do believe that there are times when spanking is a great tool. BUT it is something that can not be used to much. IF you spank for stupid shit it loses its effectiveness and will even do more.

I have rarely spanked my children. last time i can remember is when my son ran off into a parking lot and almost got hit by a car. It was his first time getting a spanking and hopefully the last.

I really can't remember the last time i did it to my daughter.


What i don't understand is those parents that don't try other ways first and resort to spanking for every little thing. if it didn't teach your kid to pick up his socks do you think its going to keep him from remember to flush the toilet?


edit: hell i remember most times i was spanked or slapped. 1) when i was brought home by the cops for shoplifting. i was 10 and got a bad ass whooping. 2) i called my mom a "bitch" btw that was also the last time..heh
then i told my dad the women he was dating was "nothing but a gold digging slut". she was 23 (i was 18 at the time) and he was 48? i was right. but that didn't stop him from putting me down with a right to the jaw (he was a boxer in his youth. won a few a bunch and fought for the army).

 

[PsiStar]

Physical punishment don't really do anything for me. I like to use psychological abuse. Fear and intimidation really get the point across.

Actually I did resort to this with occasional ... uh, physical trauma. I rarely spanked & was probably more of swats, but a really good flip on the head I found was only needed once or possibly twice. There after I only had to ask if they remembered that flip, how it felt, and if they wanted another ... draws far less attention in public also.

And, depending on the kid, when they were acting up in public it worked well to point out to them that *everyone* is watching them. hahaha This was the most fun (for me) because they immediately stop & start looking around. I think they forgot what the problem was at that point. :biggrin:

 

[olds]

I remember a scene from Mad Men.

A kid was running through the house. A neighbor yelled at the kid to stop running in the house and the kid's dad stepped in. You just know he's going to give the neighbor hell for yelling at his kid. Instead, the smacks the kid and tells him to listen to the neighbor.

Ahh, the good old days.

 

[Mike Gayner]

Assaulting children is not good parenting.

 

[guyver01]

Assaulting children is not good parenting.

if only your parents beat the shit out of you when you were younger...

 

[waggy]

Actually I did resort to this with occasional ... uh, physical trauma. I rarely spanked & was probably more of swats, but a really good flip on the head I found was only needed once or possibly twice. There after I only had to ask if they remembered that flip, how it felt, and if they wanted another ... draws far less attention in public also.

And, depending on the kid, when they were acting up in public it worked well to point out to them that *everyone* is watching them. hahaha This was the most fun (for me) because they immediately stop & start looking around. I think they forgot what the problem was at that point. :biggrin:

lol yeah. my daughter all you have to do is point out how people are looking at her and thinking "what a rotten kid" and it usually knocks off her behavior.

my son? if someone is looking at him he is going to give them something to look at..

 

[Mike Gayner]

Never, considering it's illegal here.

Same here, btw you have a c and h too much in Sweden

Congrats on the qualification to the European Championship

Same here. Isn't it funny that countries that are generally considered the most enviable also have similar social policies, like laws against child smacking and capital punishment :hmm:

 

[Newbian]

Assaulting children is not good parenting.

And that explains how you came to be.

 

[gevorg]

You start spanking your kids when you fail at parenting. You have to teach your kids that your words mean business from the early age. Physical discipline accomplishes little, and by the age 14+ they will just ignore you. YMMV.

Just hearing the footsteps of my dad was enough for me to stop doing whatever I was doing.

 

[Codewiz]

You start spanking your kids when you fail at parenting. You have to teach your kids that your words mean business from the early age. Physical discipline accomplishes little, and by the age 14+ they will just ignore you. YMMV.

Just hearing the footsteps of my dad was enough for me to stop doing whatever I was doing.

Studies have shown.

Lower income parents spank the most.

Would people say that lower income kids are the best behaved?

Studies have also shown there are more effective ways to correct behavior other than corporal punishment. However, that does not mean you don't parent.

My son(3 years old) has never been spanked and is constantly praised by strangers and others about his behavior. The biggest issue so far that I have had to deal with was at a Moe's Burrito.

In line he asked for a cookie. I said ok. When we sat down, he said he wanted the cookie and I told him he had to wait til after he finished his dinner. He pitched one of his only hissy fits ever in public. I immediately picked his little butt up and carried him out the store. I carried him to the car and put him in the back seat. I told him that we would not go anywhere until he behaved. He threw a fit for about 10 minutes.

Was it a pain in the ass? Yes. Has he done it since? No. Most people let their children escalate to the point that their behavior is awful. I nip any behavior that annoys me right when it starts.

I would be confident my son could go to a 5 star restaurant with us and sit still and use an indoor voice the entire time. All because he knows what is expected.

Most children want to please their parents. Just seems that most parents don't set clear expectations with their children. I see it every day.

EDIT: Let me also add. My son is no angel and we let him run a little wild at home. But in public, he knows how to behave.

 

[lxskllr]

My daughter never tried much in public. The few times she did, I made her go away from other people, and face a wall, or column until she settled down. The lack of an audience does wonders for a lot of kids.

 

[Broheim]

lol europe.

another reason your country is full of pussies

you can't hit a grown asshole, but you sure as hell can beat the snot out of a child too small to defend itself or know any better...


makes total sense!

 

[sandorski]

Last resort punishment and only some kids ever need a full on spanking. The occasional swat might be needed to get their attention, but that's a different thing.

 

[guyver01]

you can't hit a grown asshole, but you sure as hell can beat the snot out of a child too small to defend itself or know any better...


makes total sense!

only idiots would assume spanking = beat the snot out of a child.

gee.. your parents musta kicked the shit out of you.

 

[Mike Gayner]

Studies have shown.

Lower income parents spank the most.

Would people say that lower income kids are the best behaved?

Studies have also shown there are more effective ways to correct behavior other than corporal punishment. However, that does not mean you don't parent.

My son(3 years old) has never been spanked and is constantly praised by strangers and others about his behavior. The biggest issue so far that I have had to deal with was at a Moe's Burrito.

In line he asked for a cookie. I said ok. When we sat down, he said he wanted the cookie and I told him he had to wait til after he finished his dinner. He pitched one of his only hissy fits ever in public. I immediately picked his little butt up and carried him out the store. I carried him to the car and put him in the back seat. I told him that we would not go anywhere until he behaved. He threw a fit for about 10 minutes.

Was it a pain in the ass? Yes. Has he done it since? No. Most people let their children escalate to the point that their behavior is awful. I nip any behavior that annoys me right when it starts.

I would be confident my son could go to a 5 star restaurant with us and sit still and use an indoor voice the entire time. All because he knows what is expected.

Most children want to please their parents. Just seems that most parents don't set clear expectations with their children. I see it every day.

EDIT: Let me also add. My son is no angel and we let him run a little wild at home. But in public, he knows how to behave.

Now THIS is parenting I can get behind. I'm 100% against parents taking children to restaurants, movies etc because 99% of the time parents allow there little assholes to get away with whatever they want. If only every parent of young children knew how to discipline you you do.

 

[Broheim]

only idiots would assume spanking = beat the snot out of a child.

gee.. your parents musta kicked the shit out of you.

oh I'm sorry, must have misread.

if only your parents beat the shit out of you when you were younger...

 

[guyver01]

oh I'm sorry, must have misread.

just because i'm all for abusing gayner ... doesn't mean every kid gets beat up.

sheesh.

its gayner.

 

[waggy]

Last resort punishment and only some kids ever need a full on spanking. The occasional swat might be needed to get their attention, but that's a different thing.

i agree.

spanking should be very rare not used more then 1 or so a year and even that might be to much.

as i said i have spanked my children. but i can count the number on one had and still have fingers to flip someone off.

has it worked? yes. would talking to them have worked? sure but it wouldn't have gotten the point across as strongly as it did. After my son ran into traffic has NEVER tried it again.

now parents who do it because the child is crying in the store, restaurant whatever are idiots. Thats when you take them out of the store and go sit in the car until they stop. If they don't you take away "privileges". Such as i have to give them food, clothes and a roof over their head. I Don't have to give them MP3 players, DS's, TV's or allow friends over.

 

[Gillbot]

 

[BudAshes]

If she only had a tank.

She did one better, she got cancer and he felt bad so now she wins.

 

[Codewiz]

Now THIS is parenting I can get behind. I'm 100% against parents taking children to restaurants, movies etc because 99% of the time parents allow there little assholes to get away with whatever they want. If only every parent of young children knew how to discipline you you do.

My view is the following, I am only 33. I remember how I felt prior to having children. I remember how annoying shitty parents are. My wife and I expect our son to behave in such a way that no one is bothered by him.

When we go out to dinner this is what I expect:
-Talk at a normal volume level.
-Sit on your butt in the chair until everyone is done and ready to go.
-Do not interrupt adults talking(this is a work in progress)

I do not care if my son eats his dinner. However, he will sit and wait for everyone else to eat even if he isn't going to eat.

I have been completely successful with these types of things without physical punishment. The worst thing we do to my son is timeouts. Want to see a child lose his shit? Watch my son when I tell him he is getting a time out. It is total meltdown. Why? Because there are so many ways to discourage inappropriate behavior. Timeouts are for especially bad things. Earlier this week, my son got angry at my wife and smacked her. Refused to apologize. His butt went to his room for a good while that night. When I was ready to let him out, I asked why he got a timeout. His reply, "I hit mommy". I replied, "That is right and we don't hit in this family". He walked into the living room and apologized to my wife. How could I say what I did to him if I actually spanked him? My son knows that hitting isn't allowed under any circumstances. This is a kid that technically turns three years old in 2 weeks. Kids are way smarter than people give them credit.

Like I said, most of parenting is setting expectations. Most people just don't set any clear rules for their children and it shows.

 

[HeXen]

Assaulting children is not good parenting.

for discipline reasons, its necessary. do you not see how kids act these days who's parents refuse to do more than send them to bed early? ooooo
i saw a kid throw a fit at Walmart and and his mom ignored him while the rest of us were annoyed.
They need to bring paddling back into schools

 

[biostud]

When I was ready to let him out, I asked why he got a timeout. His reply, "I hit mommy". I replied, "That is right and we don't hit in this family". He walked into the living room and apologized to my wife. How could I say what I did to him if I actually spanked him? My son knows that hitting isn't allowed under any circumstances.

:thumbsup: