When should people become sexually active?

[Electric Amish]

They should become active when they become mature enough to make an informed decision.

I don't think any specific age makes any difference.

 

[shadow9d9]

Originally posted by: Bryophyte

Originally posted by: shadow9d9

Originally posted by: nakedfrog

Originally posted by: Bryophyte
My mom requested that I wait until after I'd graduated from high school, so I waited, oh, a few days and lost it the next week. Hehe. I was 17.

I think 17-18 is reasonable.

I can only hope that my daughters will do the same

Why? What is the difference if protection is used?

I think that life is a lot less complicated if you don't combine being in middle or high school with being sexually active. It's also easier to deal with raising an unexpected child if you're an adult than if you're a child.

Everyone is different. If someone is on birth control though, there really is such a slight chance of having an unexpected child as to be considered a moot point.

 

[Scarpozzi]

I think 18, but that's only because I think people who do before then are taking big risks...usually, one of the partners at lower ages is way more experienced than the other... That means that one of the partners is being taken advantage of, even if they want to be.

The real trick is to make sure that both partners are aware of the possible consequences and are well informed of how not to end up with an STD or with a baby. It always seemed so easy to prevent both, but then again...people often forget how easy it is to forget planned parenting and protected sex.

 

[PrinceofWands]

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: notfred
Whenever they want? Who am I to say what other people should do with thier own bodies?

What about your dependants for example? When should parents expect their children to begin having sex.

Bryophyte raises an interesting point, her mother asked her to wait, indicating that her mother was aware that she would not want to.

I have an 11yr old daughter right now. We're about to have 'the talk'. After that I'll try and be much more open about things with her so that the 'mystery' and 'taboo' factors are alleviated. My advice will of course be to wait until she's totally ready. When she is I hope she's comfortable being open about it with me. I will also, of course, press her for the need of safety. Beyond that there's nothing I can do.

 

[nakedfrog]

Originally posted by: shadow9d9

Originally posted by: Bryophyte

Originally posted by: shadow9d9

Originally posted by: nakedfrog

Originally posted by: Bryophyte
My mom requested that I wait until after I'd graduated from high school, so I waited, oh, a few days and lost it the next week. Hehe. I was 17.

I think 17-18 is reasonable.

I can only hope that my daughters will do the same

Why? What is the difference if protection is used?

I think that life is a lot less complicated if you don't combine being in middle or high school with being sexually active. It's also easier to deal with raising an unexpected child if you're an adult than if you're a child.

Everyone is different. If someone is on birth control though, there really is such a slight chance of having an unexpected child as to be considered a moot point.

I'm almost 100% certain you don't have any daughters that are nearing middle school or later.
And despite that "slight chance of having an unexpected child" we ended up with a baby three years ago.

 

[mundane]

When they are mature enough to understand and deal with the potential consequences.

 

[BrokenVisage]

lol @ the 6 people who tried to be funny in the poll, it worked!

 

[eakers]

16 I guess.
Depends on the person though.

 

[Bryophyte]

Originally posted by: shadow9d9
Everyone is different. If someone is on birth control though, there really is such a slight chance of having an unexpected child as to be considered a moot point.

I remember college being a time when I spent an extraordinary amount of time having sex and being in complicated relationships. While I did date in high school, I am glad that I did not focus on having sex all the time.

Everybody might be different, but I know there are entirely too many children out there having children that they can't possibly be responsible parents of and there is too much drama that should usually wait until the person is mature enough to make responsible decisions about. To say that someone won't get pregnant or STDs is being naive. Anything can happen.

I remember a few times when I was younger when I had a pregnancy scare. Better the person is really an adult before they deal with that. It was hard enough at 18 or 21, why should a 15 year old go through that? My mom told me during one of our 'sex talks' that if I got pregnant, I would have to deal with it COMPLETELY on my own and would not be living under her roof. That if I decided I was adult enough to have sex, then I was adult enough to accept the consequences.

It's not just the possibility of STDs and unplanned pregnancy. Becoming sexually active changes your priorities in life. It complicates everything, when you should be focusing on graduating from high school, getting into college, figuring out what you want out of life.

The above statements are just my opinions and experiences and have no bearing whatsoever on how others live their own lives.

Originally posted by: nakedfrog
I'm almost 100% certain you don't have any daughters that are nearing middle school or later.
And despite that "slight chance of having an unexpected child" we ended up with a baby three years ago.

I've got a 6 year old 'surprise' daughter myself. Fortunately, I was 31 years old when I had her, not an irresponsible teenager.

 

[Vegitto]

According to some news channel, the average age a Dutch teen loses his/her virginity is 15,6 years. That means I only have like, 2 months to go ..

 

[IAteYourMother]

16

 

[ubercaffeinated]

between 16-18, with the use of protection. the body peaks at 18 in terms of raw performance, and i'm a firm believer one should learn earlier rather than later.

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: PrinceofWands
I agree that sex doesn't have to be everything to everyone, but it's a lot to many. Just because YOU don't see it that way doesn't make it wrong for others who do. We're not being any more close-minded by holding sex up than you are by holding it down. Different perceptions is all.

There is NO comparison between intimacy with children, spiritual intimacy, and sexual intimacy. I'm not saying one is better than the other (even though I do have my own ranking system), but they're not the same and one is NOT the other.

Actually my logic isn't any more flawed than yours. You are arguing for time, time, time, time, time. Well, not everyone has time. Also you have no way of knowing if you will change over time. Not saying you won't, but you can NOT argue that you absolutely will find some other maximum potential than what you feel earlier. You are arguing only for the tragedy of not exploring. I'm arguing for the tragedy of not experiencing before it's too late. You can always explore later. You can't experience after you're dead.

Again, I will probably have lots of sex when I get married, so in no way am I holding sex down. Sex is awesome, I just fail to see how Sex seems to be a recurring theme of the ultimate fulfillment in life for so many ATOTers. There are so many other things that are fulfilling.

And there is no way for a human to measure absolute potential of a person, but allowing for the person the opportunities to actualize that potential is important. Your point is to say that some people don't have that type of time (something that as humans we cannot know for sure or control), that some people's potential could be exactly for procreation and nurturing (something again that as humans we cannot know for sure or control). What we can control is giving the individual the maximum amount of opportunities to actualize potential. The rest is up to them. By saying that there is a specific time that people should become sexual active is a misnomer.

I don't state a specific time, but I do say that it seems that by our social constraints that most people became independant around mid 20s now, which it was earlier in previous times. If you follow the logic of allowing the person to have time to actualize this independance and try to reach their potential, then as a society, you have done the right thing.

Again, I did say that my ideas are my opinions, but seem solid in logic. You have expressed ideas that are not possible to know because they can never be known (potential of a human and lifetime of a human). I could be hit by a train tomorrow, but at least I know that I was given opportunities to become the person I am today. What if my parents decided to marry me off around 12-14 like your research says. I doubt I would be anywhere near the person I am today.

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: diegoalcatraz
When they are mature enough to understand and deal with the potential consequences.

Very good post :thumbsup:

 

[Bateluer]

Originally posted by: Ausm
When they can afford to take care of the kids they produce.

Ausm

I was just going to say the same thing. When they are responsible and financially secure enough to take care of any children they create.

 

[mattpegher]

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: mattpegher
Although biologically our species is designed to begin procreation at about 13, our society has become too complex to allow this. Not only the possible outcome of pregnancy but the emotional consequences of sexual activity suggest that we delay until the individual is an adult. Since some are mature earlier than others, the only generalized age determinent should be when the person is legally an adult, and therefore responsible for themselves.

That said, 18 seems to old for most and under 16 to young.

That is a fvcking perfect post. Could you take your 'good sense' stick and wave it around over by P&N for a while?

I afraid all "good sense" magic is powerless in P&N.

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: mattpegher

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: mattpegher
Although biologically our species is designed to begin procreation at about 13, our society has become too complex to allow this. Not only the possible outcome of pregnancy but the emotional consequences of sexual activity suggest that we delay until the individual is an adult. Since some are mature earlier than others, the only generalized age determinent should be when the person is legally an adult, and therefore responsible for themselves.

That said, 18 seems to old for most and under 16 to young.

That is a fvcking perfect post. Could you take your 'good sense' stick and wave it around over by P&N for a while?

I afraid all "good sense" magic is powerless in P&N.

Agreed. It becomes a shouting fest over there.

 

[LanceM]

After they leave the home (traditionally after high school).

 

[PrinceofWands]

Originally posted by: DaShen

Originally posted by: PrinceofWands
I agree that sex doesn't have to be everything to everyone, but it's a lot to many. Just because YOU don't see it that way doesn't make it wrong for others who do. We're not being any more close-minded by holding sex up than you are by holding it down. Different perceptions is all.

There is NO comparison between intimacy with children, spiritual intimacy, and sexual intimacy. I'm not saying one is better than the other (even though I do have my own ranking system), but they're not the same and one is NOT the other.

Actually my logic isn't any more flawed than yours. You are arguing for time, time, time, time, time. Well, not everyone has time. Also you have no way of knowing if you will change over time. Not saying you won't, but you can NOT argue that you absolutely will find some other maximum potential than what you feel earlier. You are arguing only for the tragedy of not exploring. I'm arguing for the tragedy of not experiencing before it's too late. You can always explore later. You can't experience after you're dead.

What if my parents decided to marry me off around 12-14 like your research says. I doubt I would be anywhere near the person I am today.

Or maybe you would have found potential undreamed of. You can't know. That was my point. For some people their 'grand ulltimate' is just being with someone else, or caring for a family (I'm like that). *shrug*

 

[Fenixgoon]

marriage, but otherwise, once you're out of college and can financially support yourself, SO, and a child or children

 

[shadow9d9]

Originally posted by: Bryophyte

Originally posted by: shadow9d9
Everyone is different. If someone is on birth control though, there really is such a slight chance of having an unexpected child as to be considered a moot point.

I remember college being a time when I spent an extraordinary amount of time having sex and being in complicated relationships. While I did date in high school, I am glad that I did not focus on having sex all the time.

Everybody might be different, but I know there are entirely too many children out there having children that they can't possibly be responsible parents of and there is too much drama that should usually wait until the person is mature enough to make responsible decisions about. To say that someone won't get pregnant or STDs is being naive. Anything can happen.

I remember a few times when I was younger when I had a pregnancy scare. Better the person is really an adult before they deal with that. It was hard enough at 18 or 21, why should a 15 year old go through that? My mom told me during one of our 'sex talks' that if I got pregnant, I would have to deal with it COMPLETELY on my own and would not be living under her roof. That if I decided I was adult enough to have sex, then I was adult enough to accept the consequences.

It's not just the possibility of STDs and unplanned pregnancy. Becoming sexually active changes your priorities in life. It complicates everything, when you should be focusing on graduating from high school, getting into college, figuring out what you want out of life.

The above statements are just my opinions and experiences and have no bearing whatsoever on how others live their own lives.

Originally posted by: nakedfrog
I'm almost 100% certain you don't have any daughters that are nearing middle school or later.
And despite that "slight chance of having an unexpected child" we ended up with a baby three years ago.

I've got a 6 year old 'surprise' daughter myself. Fortunately, I was 31 years old when I had her, not an irresponsible teenager.

I don't see how having sex changes your priorities any more than doing other sexual(and safer) acts would...

 

[chambersc]

"Wait 'till marriage" has 20 votes. Oh, that's rich.

 

[MBrown]

Wait til marriage

 

[Cattlegod]

Nature has decided for us, and that age is ~ 13

 

[nakedfrog]

Originally posted by: shadow9d9
I don't see how having sex changes your priorities any more than doing other sexual(and safer) acts would...

Then you're a different person. Although I find it hard to believe that you can't envision how it would change someone's priorities and complicate things.