because by that age, hopefully you have some sense into you and know the consequences of their actions. Personally, my answer would be when they are really in love. And I do not mean lust, I mean real love.
I wasn't being sardonic, I was being coyly sarcastc, but it didn't translate.
I'm not asking you to marry your choice, it's just an internet poll. DrPizza phrased the question in a much better way. My phrasing has too much unintended negative connotation.
It depends when you're personally ready, as everyone matures at different rates. I lost it when I was 15, with a girl I was with for more then a year. Some people may think it's too young, but we both felt like we were "ready," and I don't regret it a year later.
When they're ready and want to. It's variable for each person. I started at 16, but if I were to go back I would have started earlier given the opportunity.
According to this site it's 17 for women and 18 for men. That seems high to me. This site says its 16.4 for girls and younger for boys. That seems more likely.
If the poll were reworded as suggested I would say no one should be experimenting sexually before they're a teenager. 13-14 at a minimum. As it's currently worded I can't pick 'one' magical age.
According to this site it's 17 for women and 18 for men. That seems high to me. This site says its 16.4 for girls and younger for boys. That seems more likely.
If the poll were reworded as suggested I would say no one should be experimenting sexually before they're a teenager. 13-14 at a minimum. As it's currently worded I can't pick 'one' magical age.
I am at the wait till marriage camp (for practical reasons).
- I don't want to give it up to someone I am unsure if I will be able to share affection with for a lifetime.
- I don't want to be a father before I am married and ready.
- I don't want to have a relationship I cannot handle till I am ready. (girls get clingy/controlling with physical relationships which isn't a bad thing in a marriage, but is bad if you aren't married)
- I will be ready when I decide to marry someone.
- I want to be able to work on a deeper relationship with my SO before putting sex into the picture. (Really get to know them and figure out how to be compatable with them)
Genetically though, it is best to have kids around 16-21 (or so I have heard not sure if it is true). But our culture is different now, people are not independant till there mid 20s because of social constraints usually. If you aren't independant (i.e. you cannot take care of yourself), you aren't ready for marriage. Another way of saying that, if you can't totally take care of yourself, how can you expect to take care of anyone else.
- I don't want to give it up to someone I am unsure if I will be able to share affection with for a lifetime.
- I don't want to be a father before I am married and ready.
- I don't want to have a relationship I cannot handle till I am ready. (girls get clingy/controlling with physical relationships which isn't a bad thing in a marriage, but is bad if you aren't married)
- I will be ready when I decide to marry someone.
- I want to be able to work on a deeper relationship with my SO before putting sex into the picture. (Really get to know them and figure out how to be compatable with them)
Genetically though, it is best to have kids around 16-21 (or so I have heard not sure if it is true). But our culture is different now, people are not independant till there mid 20s because of social constraints usually. If you aren't independant (i.e. you cannot take care of yourself), you aren't ready for marriage. Another way of saying that, if you can't totally take care of yourself, how can you expect to take care of anyone else.
What do you mean unlikely? Hell, even in America people were marrying between 13 and 15 quite commonly. Well, girls at least. And that's only a couple hundred years ago. There's a huge body of historic evidence of people being married off much earlier (8-12). I'm not saying it was always willingly, nor were hey necessarily always fully sexually active.
When you say sexually active, do you mean, good ol' penetration? Or just any kind of activity other than a kiss or two*?
*ATOT proofing:
On the lips (on your face)
I voted 16 though (I'd say 15ish is fair game for sexual activity that doesn't involve penetration of waist areas...)
*ATOT proofing:
On the lips (on your face)
I voted 16 though (I'd say 15ish is fair game for sexual activity that doesn't involve penetration of waist areas...)
I think there's a commonly held assumption that this is true, but a female can't successfully give birth until her late teens. It's not likely that ancient cultures would continue to stand for children and babies dying in such large numbers.
I'm very willing to be convinced by actual numbers though... My guess is just based on knowledge of physiological limitations.
In the world today the countries that encourage child brides do so because of social pressures which likely id not exist on a wide scale in ancient civilizations.
Ethiopia for example is an unhealthy mix of Orthodox Christianity and African Animism. Couple that with the tremendously scarce resources and parents are willing to sacrifice their otherwise economically useless daughters to get a little bride price...
Anyway, you might be right, I'm no anthropologist....
Some were forced to have sex with there older spouses. <shudder> Some were political and were not sexual until later on, in either case, good thing we don't live in a society like that anyways.
But yeah, 18 is only a number, but social constraints (even taking out the religious aspect of it) make it socially bad for a person to be sexually active before they are mature enough to handle it. It makes young people flippant with real relationships. No solid relationships can be fostered if people take such a relaxed view on a thing that by its very nature causes the two people to become more emotionally involved and attached.
**EDIT**
If I could find a girl that was any age that was mature, independant, able to discuss things I like to discuss, compatable with me in a way I could build a long relationship with, and lastly comfortable in with who they are as a person/ yet willing to grow as a person too -- age wouldn't be a factor. But in actuallity, our society, and our very hormonal nature, doesn't really allow for many girls under mid 20s to be any of those things.
Another very logical and key point!! :thumbsup:
**EDIT**
Many insect mate on the same day they hatch, but their life expectancy is only a few days as well.
We have a life expectancy of 75-80+ years where many of us peak sexually around 30... what is the rush? (pederasty?)
Youngest mother
Granted that's an odd situation, but it really is pretty common to conceive at 12-14 (historically speaking). After a few years working on my history degree I've read about it so much that it's quite obviously common.
The desire to understand the interactions of others is fully realized when we can use that knowledge to help shape a better society.
In other words, "You say that now, but when you're locked out of your house and there's a stone-cold a$$ rapist on the loose in your 'hood, I'm guessin' you'll change your tune."
If Society was set up for a girl to reach her full potential by 12-14 (like they did in before the Modern era), I would say go for it. But now human potential has changed. People have more opportunities and longer lifespans (meaning more schooling/education and more years to reach full potential). To limit a person's potential is one of the greatests forms of abuse in my opinion.
A 12 year old girl could have been smart enough to be a world famous surgeon in modern society, but because her parents sold her as a sex slave or a bride to the highest bidder in some countries, she could never reach that potential. That is tragic.
**EDIT**
BTW, You should watch Born Into Brothels. It is a great movie about stuff like this.
Generally I'd agree with you, but there are caveats. No one has a guaranteed lifespan. Death can come at any time. Dying before you experience intimacy is certainly a tragedy as well.
What if someones 'full potential' was as a nurturer and parent? Or in a supportive role in a relationship? I'd be perfectly content to accomplish nothing beyond that. Not everyone has the same goals and values remember.
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