When does "spanking" a child become abuse.

[Scarpozzi]

Originally posted by: Summit
baseball bat to the head, def child abuse

That's cruel considering they wouldn't even hear it coming.

 

[FlashG]

9mm and above. Everthing else is just a flesh wound.

 

[FeuerFrei]

It becomes abuse when you are punishing them simply because you are angry or cruel. You punish to correct, not outlet your rage. The idea is to inflict pain, not injury. I say if you leave welts, bruises, lumps, or cuts, you are doing it wrong and need to back off.

 

[m1ldslide1]

Originally posted by: JeffreyLebowski

Originally posted by: SparkyJJO

Originally posted by: Imp
Anything but barehand and anywhere but to the hand or ass.

Even then, I'm not really for it. Ya, the child fears it now, but it feels more like taking your own agression out on the kid. To each their own though.

So when I was little and did something really bad and my dad used the belt he was abusing me?

Disagree. Hurt then, but learned the lesson, and I do believe I'm better off. Too many kids these days are not punished for their actions, or the punishment is so mild that it really has no effect.

"time-outs" don't really instill values in kids, it gets them ready for prison though.
If you can punch your brother in the nuts and all you have to do is sit in the corner for 5 minutes, you're going to punch your brother in the nuts as had as you can. Now, if you punch your brother in the nuts and dad's 1st reaction is to punch you in the nuts to give you a taste of your own medicine, you're going to think long and hard about any gain you might get by punching your brother.

I will go ahead and assume you don't have kids based on your assumptions. Time-outs and groundings and so on can work pretty well if used consistently and properly. I think that using violence is probably quicker, and I can absolutely see the value in an agricultural or hunter/gatherer society where survival depends on each person's speedy assimilation into the unit, but not so much in modern society.

Violence is used between people when verbal communication breaks down. Is your child going to be more successful in society being taught that resorting to violence when you can't communicate with someone is OK? Or is the child going to be more successful being taught to find alternatives to violence? Choosing to beat on your kid is a result of lazy and/or uncreative parenting.

 

[Raizinman]

It becomes abuse when the child says so. It doesn't matter whether the child was bruised by a light spanking or from a prior softball game, as soon as the child tells any mandated reporter, be it a doctor, clergy, counselor, policeman, etc. they are mandated to report it and if the child 'claims' he is afraid to return home, then the state will provide. It's a backwards systems that empowers children and gives them the power to blackmail their parents to get anything they want to avoid going to jail. Sad sad world.

 

[rasczak]

Originally posted by: Squisher
Back in the stone ages teachers had paddles that looked like Cricket Bats with holes drilled in them to make them less wind resistant and they were usually emblazoned with witty names like, "The Board of Education."

I got my only swat in sixth grade when some of my friends and I flew about 400 paper airplanes out of the third story window of the school when we had a sub and she was out of the room half the day.

<---51 yrs. old


My parents once caught me stealing rubber bands out of my sister's house and I got a belt (the only time) I was maybe 8 or 9.

I actually think you could draw blood with a coat hanger or a fly swatter and don't think a broom or a piece of PVC would even bruise a kid.

I don't know, I never hit my kids with any thing more than my hand on there bare ass.

<-----33 y/o and i remember that paddle hanging on the vice principal's wall. Had my first and last taste of said instrument in the 4th grade for fighting. what's funny is he called my mom about the fight and she gave him the go ahead to paddle my ass. it got worse when i got home. hehe.

 

[Electric Amish]

2, 7 (broom handle?), 9 are abuse, IMO...

3 is borderline...depending on the cause, the execution and the age/size of the child. If a teenage kid makes a smart-assed comment a slap (open hand) to the face is entirely appropriate, IMO.

Everything else is fine, providing that it is a single stroke and can't break skin/bones...With repetitive strokes, everything becomes abuse.

 

[Lounatik]

Originally posted by: FeuerFrei
It becomes abuse when you are punishing them simply because you are angry or cruel. You punish to correct, not outlet your rage. The idea is to inflict pain, not injury. I say if you leave welts, bruises, lumps, or cuts, you are doing it wrong and need to back off.

Ding ding ding! We have a winner! This is the exact quote that should end all "abuse" threads.
Thank you for your well thought out post. It is appreciated and was exactly what I was trying to formulate in my head.

Peace

Lounatik

 

[sutahz]

5 &6 are the same thing, and they really dont hurt (unless the adult really put some muscle into it). A closed palm slap is worse then a swat w/ thin weak wire.
8 & 9 are uncalled for. A broom handle, if thats what the adult has in their hand and they dont give it a full swing.... ya know anything can be used to punish a child, it's the severity of force the adult uses. Just because the adult uses a pvc pipe doesnt mean they're swinging it like a baseball bat.

Final answer, stomping a child w/ your feet (shoes on or off) is uncalled for.

 

[classy]

Well if someone waited till a kid was 11 to spank them, its too late. A 11 year old probably won't respond well to corporate punishment. I have spanked both my girls in their lifetimes, but neither past the age of 10. I think grounding a 11 year old would probably be more effective. Especially if its a big 11 year old.

 

[Isaac MM]

I think it is wrong to do any kind of agression to a child. Although i don't have kids, my sister does, her kids respect her a lot and she has never hurt them, when they are doing something wrong she just looks to them really seriously and they stop.

 

[classy]

And to answer the question, 1 is not abuse as long as its on the rearend. 3 is not abuse if its just a slap, but a continuous slapping of an 11 year old in the face is extreme. All the others are abuse regardless of age.

 

[imported_Baloo]

2 is impossible, even for an adult.

 

[SlitheryDee]

Originally posted by: Isaac MM
I think it is wrong to do any kind of agression to a child. Although i don't have kids, my sister does, her kids respect her a lot and she has never hurt them, when they are doing something wrong she just looks to them really seriously and they stop.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that you're suffering from selective memory here. Your sister's kids are not representative of all kids in any case. My little brother is wild as a hairless chimp and you have to get damn serious to even get his attention. Every now and then words and painless punishments fail with him, but after you've given him one spanking and he's convinced that you're willing to do it the mere threat usually works from then on.

 

[cdmccool]

2 is only over the top because of the time. Make it 10-30 minutes and I say it's good discipline. Obviously the amount of water is a factor as well. It needs to be tough, but not ridiculously so.

1 and 4 are the only other options I would use myself. I don't think you should ever hit a child in the face, but I wouldn't call the cops if I saw someone slap an 11-year-old that was out of line. I wouldn't call the cops for the fly swatter either, even though I don't agree.

Everything else on the list is abuse, and I would call CPS.

 

[n yusef]

Originally posted by: Raizinman
It becomes abuse when the child says so. It doesn't matter whether the child was bruised by a light spanking or from a prior softball game, as soon as the child tells any mandated reporter, be it a doctor, clergy, counselor, policeman, etc. they are mandated to report it and if the child 'claims' he is afraid to return home, then the state will provide. It's a backwards systems that empowers children and gives them the power to blackmail their parents to get anything they want to avoid going to jail. Sad sad world.

I would imagine a far greater amount of children are being abused and not reporting it than are blackmailing their parents with phony cries of abuse.

 

[ICRS]

Some people I have asked this have said that two amounts to torture if carried out for extended period, even more than 10-30 minutes some would call it torture. Would you agree, that 2 is torure if done for extended periods.

 

[sao123]

spanking a child becomes abuse only when it involes something sexual...
beat your kids, its for their own good.

 

[MoneyMari]

"time-outs" don't really instill values in kids, it gets them ready for prison though.
If you can punch your brother in the nuts and all you have to do is sit in the corner for 5 minutes, you're going to punch your brother in the nuts as had as you can. Now, if you punch your brother in the nuts and dad's 1st reaction is to punch you in the nuts to give you a taste of your own medicine, you're going to think long and hard about any gain you might get by punching your brother.

While I understand that, not all situations are the same, and they generally won't fall into that category, lines are blurred because you want to inflict proper punishment to ensure it doesn't happen again but in doing so you can cause your child to be more aggressive leading them to believe that you should navigate situation with physical force, and studies have shown they are more prone to mental illness, it might, and I mean MIGHT, accomplish what you want the moment, but the negatives as a result outweigh the positives.

 

[MoneyMari]

spanking a child becomes abuse only when it involes something sexual...
beat your kids, its for their own good.

The kids who end up with mental illness say differently, and become more prone to navigating social problems with physical force.

 

[sdifox]

Holy necro

 

[brianmanahan]

Holy necro

OP didn't even mention a belt, the most versatile of all instruments of punishment

although maybe that counts as whipping instead of spanking

 

[dank69]

OP didn't even mention a belt, the most versatile of all instruments of punishment

although maybe that counts as whipping instead of spanking

Or jumper cables?

 

[Captante]

Or jumper cables?

Cat-O-nine tails?

 

[HomerJS]

My mother used a switch or a belt. Sometimes to add psychological torture, she made me go outside and pick it.

Pants down, usually left marks on my legs. Today she would be in jail.