When did commands start sounding like options?

[jhu]

Person A wants person B to do something. The request is often of the form "Do you want to …"

examples:

Do you want to clean the table?
Do you want to wash the car?
Do you want to make the bed?
Do you want to wash the dishes?
Do you want to have that report on my desk by Monday?

When did this become a common way to command someone to do something?

 

[DesiPower]

Politeness? As long as i have been in US, it has always been that way. Although it varies with region and ethnicity. Example, in east coast, people are not that polite and would ask you to do it straight up. Indian to other Indians would always ask straight up

 

[Cerpin Taxt]

It happened when we let the women out of the kitchen.


/ducks
//runs
///:biggrin:

 

[poofyhairguy]

Person A wants person B to do something. The request is often of the form "Do you want to …"

examples:

Do you want to clean the table?
Do you want to wash the car?
Do you want to make the bed?
Do you want to wash the dishes?
Do you want to have that report on my desk by Monday?

When did this become a common way to command someone to do something?

Because, as A Wonderful Life shows us every Christmas season, there is always a choice.

 

[SamQuint]

I can't stand that crap. What is worse is when they try to manipulate you with their commands.

Aren't you cold, don't you want to turn off the air conditioner?
Don't you want to watch something else on TV?
Don't you want Mexican for dinner tonight?

 

[BurnItDwn]

When people ask me "do you want to<something I don't want to do>" I say "No thanks."

 

[darkewaffle]

ITS BECAUSE AMERICAS IS ALL PUSSIES NOW EVERYTHING WAS DIFFERENT AND BETTER FIFTY YEARS AGO WHEN THE MAJORITY OF THE ATOT FORUMGOERS WERE KIDS

Usually.

 

[nageov3t]

because people respond better when they think they have a choice?

it also sounds a lot less bitchy to say "would you mind..." versus "DO THIS NOW!" even if the implications are the same.

 

[ultimatebob]

I think that I'd answer "No, not really" to all of those questions with the exception of the last one... since it would probably come from my boss.

 

[blackdogdeek]

Person A wants person B to do something. The request is often of the form "Do you want to …"

examples:

Do you want to clean the table?
Do you want to wash the car?
Do you want to make the bed?
Do you want to wash the dishes?
Do you want to have that report on my desk by Monday?

When did this become a common way to command someone to do something?

I like to use this alternative but equally effective method:

Can we get the table cleaned?
Can we get the car washed?
Can we get the bed made?
Can we get the dishes washed?
Can we get the report on my desk by Monday?

This way we feel like a team but I have absolutely no part in the actual work.

 

[PottedMeat]

"Do you want to …"

the person asking better be helping

 

[nageov3t]

I like to use this alternative but equally effective method:

Can we get the table cleaned?
Can we get the car washed?
Can we get the bed made?
Can we get the dishes washed?
Can we get the report on my desk by Monday?

This way we feel like a team but I have absolutely no part in the actual work.

I had a coworker who used to do that all the time... drove me nuts.

on conference calls, I'd have to turn it around and be like "so you're taking responsibility on making sure the table gets cleaned?" because otherwise he'd say "we need to do X" and then never actually take any steps towards driving the project.

 

[jhu]

because people respond better when they think they have a choice?

it also sounds a lot less bitchy to say "would you mind..." versus "DO THIS NOW!" even if the implications are the same.

"Would you mind…" is not the same as "Do you want to …" The former is making a polite request. The latter is asking an opinion.

 

[dave_the_nerd]

"Would you mind…" is not the same as "Do you want to …" The former is making a polite request. The latter is asking an opinion.

It's just convention. If my boss says to me, "hey, you wanna get that there?" it's a command, just like, "Hey, how's it going" is a prompt to respond, "fine!" and not actually answer the question.

 

[Rakehellion]

Person A wants person B to do something. The request is often of the form "Do you want to …"

examples:

Do you want to clean the table?
Do you want to wash the car?
Do you want to make the bed?
Do you want to wash the dishes?
Do you want to have that report on my desk by Monday?

When did this become a common way to command someone to do something?

Sounds like passive-aggressive girlfriend stuff.

 

[Markbnj]

It's just style sometimes, I think. I was bos'un on this ship and I would hand out deck tasks to the work parties every morning by saying things like "Jim, can you grab a can of tar and slush the foreshroud?" The people knew these weren't requests, but it used to drive the skipper nuts. I'm just not wired that way, I guess. It's not like anyone ever said "No, Mark, actually I'd rather not slush the damn foreshroud."

 

[ethebubbeth]

I alway reply "no" if I don't want to do it. If they rephrase as "can you" or "will you" then I will reply in the affirmative if it's not too unreasonable.

 

[Cerpin Taxt]

Sounds like passive-aggressive girlfriend stuff.

That's exactly what I thought, hence my earlier misogynistic comment.

 

[compcons]

And let's not forget that no matter how an authority figure phrases the request/command, you damn well better say yes. Otherwise, you can tell your new boss at McDonalds that you don't want to mop and see how that goes.

It amazes me at how entitled some people think they are. Its called politeness from your boss and it is supposed to get a respectful response not some jackass answer. If its your girlfriend, dump her. This is just the start of annoying passive aggressive behavior.

 

[Jeff7]

Or, "When you get a chance..." actually means "Do this. Immediately."

 

[Murloc]

I've never seen that use although it makes sense as fake and passive aggressive politeness.

If I wanted to be polite, I'd say "can you do this" or something. It's the same in my language so I guess I'm more used to it.

 

[SlitheryDee]

I had a boss once who would always preface his orders with "If you want to".

It would sound like:

"If you want to, you can go clean the bathroom after you finish pressing those shirts". (I worked at a formal wear rental place at the time)

I always thought it was funny, but I knew that if I decided I didn't "want to" do whatever he suggested, it would probably mean I'd lose my job. He was just a nice guy, and I appreciated the fact that he tried to soften his commands a bit.

 

[lxskllr]

Hey, would you go get the busway for me?

Leaves, then comes back....

What's a busway?

Depends on how many people are in it.

:^P

 

[Ichinisan]

Person A wants person B to do something. The request is often of the form "Do you want to …"

examples:

Do you want to clean the table?
Do you want to wash the car?
Do you want to make the bed?
Do you want to wash the dishes?
Do you want to have that report on my desk by Monday?

When did this become a common way to command someone to do something?

What?

 

[Ichinisan]

Politeness? As long as i have been in US, it has always been that way. Although it varies with region and ethnicity. Example, in east coast, people are not that polite and would ask you to do it straight up. Indian to other Indians would always ask straight up

Not it my area. The polite way is: "Could you please [requested task]?"

"Do you want to [requested task]?" makes no sense at all.