You want GOOD, FLUFFY, restaurant-caliber eggs?
2-3 eggs
tbsp cream / half and half
whisk together well
put 1 pat (1 tbsp) butter into a pan over medium heat
when butter has melted, add eggs.
wait until eggs are set on bottom, stir lightly until fully cooked
add salt and pepper to taste.
That's it. You can add whatever you want to your eggs before cooking, i.e. spinach, cheese, etc. but that seems a bit out of your league granted you can't even scramble them.

You might want to check out the book "Joy of Cooking" -- it's indispensable for looking up ANY kind of recipe.