Please only serious posts are welcomed, I?m really worried about my friend. I?m posting this chat with her AIM name censored to see if anyone can pinpoint what could be happening to her and what I can do to help her. I?m scared that she might be going crazy. I hope I?m overreacting.
She?s 19 years old, sophomore in college and is my exgirlfriend. We went out for 2 years. First year was beautiful. Second year was full breakups and makeups after she cheated on me. It was a very unhealthy relationship that second year full of jealousy. Finally, I broke up with her and she avoided me and I didn?t hear anything about her for a month and a half, until today.
I don?t like her family. She has recently been disowned by her father. She loved her father more then anyone, her father was nothing but a manipulator that insulted her many times and often implied that she wasn?t good enough. Her father ended up cheating on her mom and even though my ex-gf forgave her father he still disowned her I think because at this time we had just started going out and he didn?t like that. Her parents had a divorce and she doesn?t speak to her father anymore even though she still misses him. Her mother is a depressed person and always screams at her but she loves her very much. She moved out of state for college mostly because she wanted to escape her household problems.
She by the way has a history of being depressed, this is our conversation?
CLIFF NOTES VERSION IN THE END.
Sharon: hey
RecklaZ: sup?
Sharon: nothing, just wanted to say hi
Sharon: see how you were doing
Sharon: are things going alright?
RecklaZ: im ok
RecklaZ: u?
Sharon: im getting better i guess
Sharon: ive had about 3 nervous breakdowns in the past month
Sharon: my grades are down to shit
Sharon: people havent seen or heard of me for about a month and a half
Sharon: i didnt know who sharon was for awhile..i talked in third person.. socially withdrew, having money problems too..
Sharon: but i have a final tomorrow and for the next week ..so im trying to make everythign ok again
Sharon: anyway, i just wanted to say hi
RecklaZ: ummm
RecklaZ: i hope everything gets better.
Sharon: it will
Sharon:
RecklaZ: are u ok now though?
Sharon: im trying
Sharon: having horrible dreams again
Sharon: ..but i realize all this now.. i wasn't myself for the past month and a half..i dont know who that is..i stopped smiling, i dont know..
Sharon: i didnt know who people were
Sharon: i didnt know i was doing very bad and it was serious
Sharon: but i know now
RecklaZ: are u taking anything? were u taking anything?
Sharon: so i guess thats a step
Sharon: what do you mean?
RecklaZ: are u taking anything for how ur feeling?
Sharon: no
RecklaZ: where u taking anything that coulda lead to u feeling that way in the first place?
Sharon: i dont know what happened, im back though
Sharon: and im trying to get back into the world
Sharon: so im starting to talk to people again
Sharon: everybodys worried about me and nobodys seen or heard from me in a long time
Sharon: i stopped going to class
Sharon: and stuff
Sharon: and turning in work
Sharon: etc
Sharon: hopefully i can make it all better
RecklaZ: this is going to be a much needed break for u
RecklaZ: maybe u had a bad reaction to something
Sharon: but w/e, i didnt contact you to complain about my life, i sincerely just wanted to talk to people that i care about and that care about me
RecklaZ: i know this girl that went through something similar u mentioned
RecklaZ: she took some bad ecstasy
Sharon: im going back to the basics
Sharon: im trying to anyway
RecklaZ: one step at a time baby girl
Sharon: yea
Sharon: hopefully i can make it all better.. its so difficult
Sharon: i have like19 assignments (late) pending in one class, final tomorrow, finals all week , missed all my classes , didnt do a presentation..
RecklaZ: file for incompletes
RecklaZ: u have a valid reason for it
Sharon: i started so strong this semester
RecklaZ: that can really help u
Sharon: i was getting 100's , 85 on my accounting tests, very strong
Sharon: and then i just stopped going to class all together,
Sharon: i got fresh with one of my teachers..
Sharon: i would never do that.. but i was hypnotized or asleep or in a dream or soemthing
Sharon: actually.. i broke down one day..i hadnt slept for about 5 days
Sharon: barely ate
RecklaZ: have u seen a doctor?
Sharon: and that week felt like a day, the past month felt like a dream ..and the past 3 years felt like they werent even part of me
Sharon: maybe im crazy
RecklaZ: everyone has crazy moments
Sharon: i didnt want to go out anymore and i avoided people at all costs..
RecklaZ: that just means ur normal
Sharon: i couldnt even dress up anymore
Sharon: well w/e, i dont want to waste your time and stuff
Sharon: i sincerely just wanted to see how you were doing
RecklaZ: nah ur not wasting my time
RecklaZ: i was wondering about u
RecklaZ: i thought u just wanted to stop talking all together.... i had to respect that in the end
RecklaZ: but u can IM me anytime. I really really hope everything gets better for you sharon
Sharon: because its really funny, i know more than half the school, i know people everywhere i go..and only one girl that sits next to me in accounting asked me every week if i was ok..that she didnt see me smiling anymore..and nobody else really asked me what was wrong..that girl i didnt even chill with..was so sweet..and because of her i realized i wasnt doing well
RecklaZ: what caused all this though?
Sharon: so many things
Sharon: i dont really want to talk about it
Sharon: im just happy i remember who sharon was
RecklaZ: its ok
Sharon: because i didnt know for awhile.. it was like..who is sharon?..whose room is this? whose clothes is this? .. i changed so much ..i didnt know who my friends were .. people changed characters for me ..everything was a dream
Sharon: days werent seperate anymore
Sharon: everything was a blur
RecklaZ: u should really seek help
Sharon: thats why i asked you whats happened since ive been away
Sharon: so many things
Sharon: and ive been asleep or dead, i dk
Sharon: i wanted to talk to you because you've kown me very well
Sharon: ive realized so much tho
Sharon: ive come out of my body and looked down at my life as another person ..and ive seen "Sharon"
RecklaZ: sharon, seriously, apply for incompletes for ur classes
Sharon: and ive seen such a beautiful person ..
RecklaZ: just rest, eat properly and don't do anything that can harm u in any way
Sharon: and i dont know why ive hated being myself
Sharon: and i saw Sharon ..and i was like,wow, i want to be her
RecklaZ: is there anything i can do to help?
Sharon: one night, i was in my room crying like crazy, trembling, cold sweats
Sharon: i wanted to call you but i couldnt
Sharon: i dont feel like i really have friends or i can reallky trust anybody
RecklaZ: maybe u should turn to god sharon, he always helps when u need him
Sharon: i talked to my closest friend here cuz i was scared and she was almost crying too cuz i wasnt even looking at her
Sharon: i was just shaking and crying and talking and talking and crying
Sharon: w/e, i dont even know why im telling you all this
RecklaZ: its good to talk aobut things sometimes
RecklaZ: hows ur mom
Sharon: i dont know
RecklaZ: does she know how u been feeling?
RecklaZ: ?
Sharon: i havent talked to her in a long time
RecklaZ: damn...
RecklaZ: u should call her
Sharon: no, i dont want to tell her about all this
Sharon: i do miss her though
Sharon: i love her
Sharon: i just came out today really
RecklaZ: possessed?
Sharon: i was in the union and i saw so many people
Sharon: and they gave me hugs
Sharon: and they asked me where ive been
Sharon: people aim me and say "hey stranger" "are you alive"
Sharon: so many messages
Sharon: and i was trying to study for my exam tomorrow
Sharon: i have a B in the class if i get an 80
RecklaZ: i hope u take care of youserlf sharon.
Sharon: well ive learned so much too.. i keep waking up
Sharon: i wake up on toip of my "wake up"
Sharon: so this just might be another "wake up"
Sharon: ive learned so much though.. ive seen Sharon in third person, out of my body and mind experience for about a month and a half.. so ive learned so much about myself that i didnt know.. and thats priceless..and ive seen how the world works..and people , how cruel they can be , and how twisted and how beautiful everythign is..felt emotions ive never felt before, seen thigns ive never seen before
Sharon: ..its ok, i think ill be alright, i just have to make some changes
Sharon: and my counselor is an idiot, i couldnt even keep his appointments anymore because i coudlnt do anything for awhile..and i sat in his chair and told him things and he didnt know somethign was wrong.. it wasnt even me talking for a month
Sharon: but thats true for everybody
Sharon: only that sweet girl that sits next to me in accounting
Sharon: i broke down after class one day and hugged her and told her that she didnt know what an angel she was
RecklaZ: maybe she was touched by one to help you out
RecklaZ: u never know
Sharon: ive broken down with some friends and i completely flipped out about the people in the room..like who are you , you want to hurt me ..etc
Sharon: well w/e, this is all very personal, intimate things im sharing with you
Sharon: i guess i should have written it all down in my journal
Sharon: ..people didnt let me completely withdraw because they'd try to talk to me when they'd see me on campus...and in my head i just wanted to get away..id think...why do these people insist on talking to me.. and i didnt think that way 2 months ago
RecklaZ: you should really see a doctor sharon.
Sharon: i almost had another breakdown today
RecklaZ: and a priest.
Sharon: but im alright now i guess
RecklaZ: I'm really sad at the fact that you had to go through all of that. But i really don't know what to tell you. I'm not suited to give you advice or anything except listen. I just hope you take care of yourself and take action and seek some help.
RecklaZ: Maybe theres some things you can take to make you feel better.
Sharon: lol
Sharon: yea maybe
Sharon: some drugs to calm me right the f*ck down
RecklaZ: so you havent told me
RecklaZ: is there anything i could do to help?
Sharon: im doing a lot better now
Sharon: thanks for listening though
Sharon: i was getting really lonely again and scared
RecklaZ: why havent u gone to see a doctor?
Sharon wants to directly connect.
Sharon cancels request; no connection was made. (Note: For best results, you and your buddy should use the latest version of AIM.).
Sharon: i wasn't me
Sharon: i didnt know i was changing
Sharon: and then i realized it, i "woke up", and then i changed again in another way.. and then i "woke up" again ..and i changed again .. and i kinda like osme of these thigns ive changed to
Sharon: like i dont let people take advantage of me in any way anymore..
Sharon: talk right back to them
Sharon: or w/e
Sharon: ive ranged from feeling like im the biggest piece of sh*t to im the tough on
Sharon: e
Sharon: but whatever i guess
Sharon: im alright
Sharon: ive seen other people worst off
Sharon: i like who Sharon was though
Sharon: and when i get back completely, ill be happy to be her because regardless of what other people think and see..she has a beautiful soul, the most purest heart and pure intentions for the world
Sharon: and a lot of people treat her bad and mean but that's just because of their own insecurities and their own holes in their souls and minds...and shes everything i want to be
Sharon: very beautiful mentally, in the heart, and even physically
Sharon: very intelligent too
RecklaZ: bout time u realized it ;-)
Sharon: .. i mean, i havent really helped her out too much.. i lost some weight in a week ..i wasnt looking to pretty anymore, my grades are down
Sharon: and i havent tried to talk to people anymore
Sharon: but..ill get back to Sharon
Sharon signed off at 10:33:54 PM.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CLIFF NOTES VERSION:
Sharon: ive had about 3 nervous breakdowns in the past month
Sharon: people havent seen or heard of me for about a month and a half
Sharon: i didnt know who sharon was for awhile..i talked in third person.. socially withdrew, having money problems too..
Sharon: having horrible dreams again
Sharon: ..but i realize all this now.. i wasn't myself for the past month and a half..i dont know who that is..i stopped smiling, i dont know..
Sharon: i didnt know who people were
Sharon: i didnt know i was doing very bad and it was serious
Sharon: but i know now
Sharon: i got fresh with one of my teachers..
Sharon: i would never do that.. but i was hypnotized or asleep or in a dream or soemthing
Sharon: actually.. i broke down one day..i hadnt slept for about 5 days
Sharon: barely ate
Sharon: maybe im crazy
Sharon: i didnt want to go out anymore and i avoided people at all costs..
Sharon: because i didnt know for awhile.. it was like..who is sharon?..whose room is this? whose clothes is this? .. i changed so much ..i didnt know who my friends were .. people changed characters for me ..everything was a dream
Sharon: days werent seperate anymore
Sharon: everything was a blur
Sharon: and ive been asleep or dead, i dk
Sharon: ive come out of my body and looked down at my life as another person ..and ive seen "Sharon"
Sharon: and i saw Sharon ..and i was like,wow, i want to be her
Sharon: one night, i was in my room crying like crazy, trembling, cold sweats
Sharon: i wanted to call you but i couldnt
Sharon: i dont feel like i really have friends or i can reallky trust anybody
Sharon: ive learned so much though.. ive seen Sharon in third person, out of my body and mind experience for about a month and a half.. so ive learned so much about myself that i didnt know.. and thats priceless..and ive seen how the world works..and people , how cruel they can be , and how twisted and how beautiful everythign is..felt emotions ive never felt before, seen thigns ive never seen before
Sharon: ive broken down with some friends and i completely flipped out about the people in the room..like who are you , you want to hurt me ..etc
Sharon: i was getting really lonely again and scared
Sharon: i didnt know i was changing
Sharon: and then i realized it, i "woke up", and then i changed again in another way.. and then i "woke up" again ..and i changed again .. and i kinda like osme of these thigns ive changed to
Sharon: like i dont let people take advantage of me in any way anymore..
Sharon: talk right back to them
Sharon: ive ranged from feeling like im the biggest piece of sh*t to im the tough on
Sharon: and when i get back completely, ill be happy to be her because regardless of what other people think and see..she has a beautiful soul, the most purest heart and pure intentions for the world
Sharon: and a lot of people treat her bad and mean but that's just because of their own insecurities and their own holes in their souls and minds...and shes everything i want to be
Sharon: very beautiful mentally, in the heart, and even physically
Sharon: very intelligent too
Sharon: .. i mean, i havent really helped her out too much.. i lost some weight in a week ..i wasnt looking to pretty anymore, my grades are down
Sharon: and i havent tried to talk to people anymore
Sharon: but..ill get back to Sharon
Sharon signed off at 10:33:54 PM.
She?s 19 years old, sophomore in college and is my exgirlfriend. We went out for 2 years. First year was beautiful. Second year was full breakups and makeups after she cheated on me. It was a very unhealthy relationship that second year full of jealousy. Finally, I broke up with her and she avoided me and I didn?t hear anything about her for a month and a half, until today.
I don?t like her family. She has recently been disowned by her father. She loved her father more then anyone, her father was nothing but a manipulator that insulted her many times and often implied that she wasn?t good enough. Her father ended up cheating on her mom and even though my ex-gf forgave her father he still disowned her I think because at this time we had just started going out and he didn?t like that. Her parents had a divorce and she doesn?t speak to her father anymore even though she still misses him. Her mother is a depressed person and always screams at her but she loves her very much. She moved out of state for college mostly because she wanted to escape her household problems.
She by the way has a history of being depressed, this is our conversation?
CLIFF NOTES VERSION IN THE END.
Sharon: hey
RecklaZ: sup?
Sharon: nothing, just wanted to say hi
Sharon: see how you were doing
Sharon: are things going alright?
RecklaZ: im ok
RecklaZ: u?
Sharon: im getting better i guess
Sharon: ive had about 3 nervous breakdowns in the past month
Sharon: my grades are down to shit
Sharon: people havent seen or heard of me for about a month and a half
Sharon: i didnt know who sharon was for awhile..i talked in third person.. socially withdrew, having money problems too..
Sharon: but i have a final tomorrow and for the next week ..so im trying to make everythign ok again
Sharon: anyway, i just wanted to say hi
RecklaZ: ummm
RecklaZ: i hope everything gets better.
Sharon: it will
Sharon:
RecklaZ: are u ok now though?
Sharon: im trying
Sharon: having horrible dreams again
Sharon: ..but i realize all this now.. i wasn't myself for the past month and a half..i dont know who that is..i stopped smiling, i dont know..
Sharon: i didnt know who people were
Sharon: i didnt know i was doing very bad and it was serious
Sharon: but i know now
RecklaZ: are u taking anything? were u taking anything?
Sharon: so i guess thats a step
Sharon: what do you mean?
RecklaZ: are u taking anything for how ur feeling?
Sharon: no
RecklaZ: where u taking anything that coulda lead to u feeling that way in the first place?
Sharon: i dont know what happened, im back though
Sharon: and im trying to get back into the world
Sharon: so im starting to talk to people again
Sharon: everybodys worried about me and nobodys seen or heard from me in a long time
Sharon: i stopped going to class
Sharon: and stuff
Sharon: and turning in work
Sharon: etc
Sharon: hopefully i can make it all better
RecklaZ: this is going to be a much needed break for u
RecklaZ: maybe u had a bad reaction to something
Sharon: but w/e, i didnt contact you to complain about my life, i sincerely just wanted to talk to people that i care about and that care about me
RecklaZ: i know this girl that went through something similar u mentioned
RecklaZ: she took some bad ecstasy
Sharon: im going back to the basics
Sharon: im trying to anyway
RecklaZ: one step at a time baby girl
Sharon: yea
Sharon: hopefully i can make it all better.. its so difficult
Sharon: i have like19 assignments (late) pending in one class, final tomorrow, finals all week , missed all my classes , didnt do a presentation..
RecklaZ: file for incompletes
RecklaZ: u have a valid reason for it
Sharon: i started so strong this semester
RecklaZ: that can really help u
Sharon: i was getting 100's , 85 on my accounting tests, very strong
Sharon: and then i just stopped going to class all together,
Sharon: i got fresh with one of my teachers..
Sharon: i would never do that.. but i was hypnotized or asleep or in a dream or soemthing
Sharon: actually.. i broke down one day..i hadnt slept for about 5 days
Sharon: barely ate
RecklaZ: have u seen a doctor?
Sharon: and that week felt like a day, the past month felt like a dream ..and the past 3 years felt like they werent even part of me
Sharon: maybe im crazy
RecklaZ: everyone has crazy moments
Sharon: i didnt want to go out anymore and i avoided people at all costs..
RecklaZ: that just means ur normal
Sharon: i couldnt even dress up anymore
Sharon: well w/e, i dont want to waste your time and stuff
Sharon: i sincerely just wanted to see how you were doing
RecklaZ: nah ur not wasting my time
RecklaZ: i was wondering about u
RecklaZ: i thought u just wanted to stop talking all together.... i had to respect that in the end
RecklaZ: but u can IM me anytime. I really really hope everything gets better for you sharon
Sharon: because its really funny, i know more than half the school, i know people everywhere i go..and only one girl that sits next to me in accounting asked me every week if i was ok..that she didnt see me smiling anymore..and nobody else really asked me what was wrong..that girl i didnt even chill with..was so sweet..and because of her i realized i wasnt doing well
RecklaZ: what caused all this though?
Sharon: so many things
Sharon: i dont really want to talk about it
Sharon: im just happy i remember who sharon was
RecklaZ: its ok
Sharon: because i didnt know for awhile.. it was like..who is sharon?..whose room is this? whose clothes is this? .. i changed so much ..i didnt know who my friends were .. people changed characters for me ..everything was a dream
Sharon: days werent seperate anymore
Sharon: everything was a blur
RecklaZ: u should really seek help
Sharon: thats why i asked you whats happened since ive been away
Sharon: so many things
Sharon: and ive been asleep or dead, i dk
Sharon: i wanted to talk to you because you've kown me very well
Sharon: ive realized so much tho
Sharon: ive come out of my body and looked down at my life as another person ..and ive seen "Sharon"
RecklaZ: sharon, seriously, apply for incompletes for ur classes
Sharon: and ive seen such a beautiful person ..
RecklaZ: just rest, eat properly and don't do anything that can harm u in any way
Sharon: and i dont know why ive hated being myself
Sharon: and i saw Sharon ..and i was like,wow, i want to be her
RecklaZ: is there anything i can do to help?
Sharon: one night, i was in my room crying like crazy, trembling, cold sweats
Sharon: i wanted to call you but i couldnt
Sharon: i dont feel like i really have friends or i can reallky trust anybody
RecklaZ: maybe u should turn to god sharon, he always helps when u need him
Sharon: i talked to my closest friend here cuz i was scared and she was almost crying too cuz i wasnt even looking at her
Sharon: i was just shaking and crying and talking and talking and crying
Sharon: w/e, i dont even know why im telling you all this
RecklaZ: its good to talk aobut things sometimes
RecklaZ: hows ur mom
Sharon: i dont know
RecklaZ: does she know how u been feeling?
RecklaZ: ?
Sharon: i havent talked to her in a long time
RecklaZ: damn...
RecklaZ: u should call her
Sharon: no, i dont want to tell her about all this
Sharon: i do miss her though
Sharon: i love her
Sharon: i just came out today really
RecklaZ: possessed?
Sharon: i was in the union and i saw so many people
Sharon: and they gave me hugs
Sharon: and they asked me where ive been
Sharon: people aim me and say "hey stranger" "are you alive"
Sharon: so many messages
Sharon: and i was trying to study for my exam tomorrow
Sharon: i have a B in the class if i get an 80
RecklaZ: i hope u take care of youserlf sharon.
Sharon: well ive learned so much too.. i keep waking up
Sharon: i wake up on toip of my "wake up"
Sharon: so this just might be another "wake up"
Sharon: ive learned so much though.. ive seen Sharon in third person, out of my body and mind experience for about a month and a half.. so ive learned so much about myself that i didnt know.. and thats priceless..and ive seen how the world works..and people , how cruel they can be , and how twisted and how beautiful everythign is..felt emotions ive never felt before, seen thigns ive never seen before
Sharon: ..its ok, i think ill be alright, i just have to make some changes
Sharon: and my counselor is an idiot, i couldnt even keep his appointments anymore because i coudlnt do anything for awhile..and i sat in his chair and told him things and he didnt know somethign was wrong.. it wasnt even me talking for a month
Sharon: but thats true for everybody
Sharon: only that sweet girl that sits next to me in accounting
Sharon: i broke down after class one day and hugged her and told her that she didnt know what an angel she was
RecklaZ: maybe she was touched by one to help you out
RecklaZ: u never know
Sharon: ive broken down with some friends and i completely flipped out about the people in the room..like who are you , you want to hurt me ..etc
Sharon: well w/e, this is all very personal, intimate things im sharing with you
Sharon: i guess i should have written it all down in my journal
Sharon: ..people didnt let me completely withdraw because they'd try to talk to me when they'd see me on campus...and in my head i just wanted to get away..id think...why do these people insist on talking to me.. and i didnt think that way 2 months ago
RecklaZ: you should really see a doctor sharon.
Sharon: i almost had another breakdown today
RecklaZ: and a priest.
Sharon: but im alright now i guess
RecklaZ: I'm really sad at the fact that you had to go through all of that. But i really don't know what to tell you. I'm not suited to give you advice or anything except listen. I just hope you take care of yourself and take action and seek some help.
RecklaZ: Maybe theres some things you can take to make you feel better.
Sharon: lol
Sharon: yea maybe
Sharon: some drugs to calm me right the f*ck down
RecklaZ: so you havent told me
RecklaZ: is there anything i could do to help?
Sharon: im doing a lot better now
Sharon: thanks for listening though
Sharon: i was getting really lonely again and scared
RecklaZ: why havent u gone to see a doctor?
Sharon wants to directly connect.
Sharon cancels request; no connection was made. (Note: For best results, you and your buddy should use the latest version of AIM.).
Sharon: i wasn't me
Sharon: i didnt know i was changing
Sharon: and then i realized it, i "woke up", and then i changed again in another way.. and then i "woke up" again ..and i changed again .. and i kinda like osme of these thigns ive changed to
Sharon: like i dont let people take advantage of me in any way anymore..
Sharon: talk right back to them
Sharon: or w/e
Sharon: ive ranged from feeling like im the biggest piece of sh*t to im the tough on
Sharon: e
Sharon: but whatever i guess
Sharon: im alright
Sharon: ive seen other people worst off
Sharon: i like who Sharon was though
Sharon: and when i get back completely, ill be happy to be her because regardless of what other people think and see..she has a beautiful soul, the most purest heart and pure intentions for the world
Sharon: and a lot of people treat her bad and mean but that's just because of their own insecurities and their own holes in their souls and minds...and shes everything i want to be
Sharon: very beautiful mentally, in the heart, and even physically
Sharon: very intelligent too
RecklaZ: bout time u realized it ;-)
Sharon: .. i mean, i havent really helped her out too much.. i lost some weight in a week ..i wasnt looking to pretty anymore, my grades are down
Sharon: and i havent tried to talk to people anymore
Sharon: but..ill get back to Sharon
Sharon signed off at 10:33:54 PM.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CLIFF NOTES VERSION:
Sharon: ive had about 3 nervous breakdowns in the past month
Sharon: people havent seen or heard of me for about a month and a half
Sharon: i didnt know who sharon was for awhile..i talked in third person.. socially withdrew, having money problems too..
Sharon: having horrible dreams again
Sharon: ..but i realize all this now.. i wasn't myself for the past month and a half..i dont know who that is..i stopped smiling, i dont know..
Sharon: i didnt know who people were
Sharon: i didnt know i was doing very bad and it was serious
Sharon: but i know now
Sharon: i got fresh with one of my teachers..
Sharon: i would never do that.. but i was hypnotized or asleep or in a dream or soemthing
Sharon: actually.. i broke down one day..i hadnt slept for about 5 days
Sharon: barely ate
Sharon: maybe im crazy
Sharon: i didnt want to go out anymore and i avoided people at all costs..
Sharon: because i didnt know for awhile.. it was like..who is sharon?..whose room is this? whose clothes is this? .. i changed so much ..i didnt know who my friends were .. people changed characters for me ..everything was a dream
Sharon: days werent seperate anymore
Sharon: everything was a blur
Sharon: and ive been asleep or dead, i dk
Sharon: ive come out of my body and looked down at my life as another person ..and ive seen "Sharon"
Sharon: and i saw Sharon ..and i was like,wow, i want to be her
Sharon: one night, i was in my room crying like crazy, trembling, cold sweats
Sharon: i wanted to call you but i couldnt
Sharon: i dont feel like i really have friends or i can reallky trust anybody
Sharon: ive learned so much though.. ive seen Sharon in third person, out of my body and mind experience for about a month and a half.. so ive learned so much about myself that i didnt know.. and thats priceless..and ive seen how the world works..and people , how cruel they can be , and how twisted and how beautiful everythign is..felt emotions ive never felt before, seen thigns ive never seen before
Sharon: ive broken down with some friends and i completely flipped out about the people in the room..like who are you , you want to hurt me ..etc
Sharon: i was getting really lonely again and scared
Sharon: i didnt know i was changing
Sharon: and then i realized it, i "woke up", and then i changed again in another way.. and then i "woke up" again ..and i changed again .. and i kinda like osme of these thigns ive changed to
Sharon: like i dont let people take advantage of me in any way anymore..
Sharon: talk right back to them
Sharon: ive ranged from feeling like im the biggest piece of sh*t to im the tough on
Sharon: and when i get back completely, ill be happy to be her because regardless of what other people think and see..she has a beautiful soul, the most purest heart and pure intentions for the world
Sharon: and a lot of people treat her bad and mean but that's just because of their own insecurities and their own holes in their souls and minds...and shes everything i want to be
Sharon: very beautiful mentally, in the heart, and even physically
Sharon: very intelligent too
Sharon: .. i mean, i havent really helped her out too much.. i lost some weight in a week ..i wasnt looking to pretty anymore, my grades are down
Sharon: and i havent tried to talk to people anymore
Sharon: but..ill get back to Sharon
Sharon signed off at 10:33:54 PM.
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